Chilling__Echo
Well-known member
ok, this is a rant, i'm sorry. i'm so frustrated.
so here's the background. i'll try to make a 3 yr long story short
so i was with my bf for 3 years, but we broke up in june. we'd broken up to take a break in december, and march and last march i had another guy i'd known and been attracted to since i met him 2 years ago come in and came out with his feelings for me. i had to choose, and i went back with my old bf.
well now that it's over, i wanted to start things with boy #2, and he was more than willing, we go to a couple of movies, we talk for hours in the night in a car, he put his arm around me, and we kiss. that's it.
then, the other night he says "i know the girl i want to marry" and he starts talking about an ex gf from years back that he hasn't seen since then. my airplane was shot down.
and after that, it's like, i was so dissapointed b/c i felt like we were starting something.
since then he's become more bold. he doesn't want to kiss me anymore, but let's just say he's become more bold...
this guy also constantly talks about getting drunk, and getting high and sleeping around with all these girls, and i do mean constantly. when we're together i can't help now but to feel like a piece of meat. in march he claimed that he wanted a relationship and wanted to straighten out his life, he's almost done with college and he really needs to grow up. and he knows it.
now it's like he's gone back to his old ways and i never got the memo. our on the way to dating turned into what seems to be nothing but pure lust on his end.
in the meantime, my ex bf has started dating a really good friend (ex friend really butthat's a whole other can of worms) from high school 2 WEEKS AFTER WE BROKE UP. but that sounds a bit hypocritical.
so now, when ever i'm with boy #2, it's like my mouth is filled with everything i feel needing to come out, but i can't help but feel like he'd laugh and feel i was naive for thinking he'd want to be committed. he actually TOLD me the other night that he has committment problems.
so i feel so naive, even wanting to tell him how i feel. and then i feel like if he did only want sex, he'd lie and say he wanted a relationship just to get in my pants (though i'm not like that).
i'm mad that if i pushed him away, our friendship woud drop when i really enjoy his company. i'm pissed that i feel like he's being the stereotypical guy. i'm pissed that i'm falling for him anyway. i'm angry that i'm so close to having something with him and yet it seems so far from being anything worth going for.
am i being naive thinking that there MIGHT be something there worth giving a try? i go to college in august anyway, and he'll be an hour and a half away from me even if he was dating material. i feel like i don't need to be tied down when i go back, being tied down last year really was bad for me. i wanted to start over fresh.
or should someone just slap some sense into me? feel free to just tell me that i'm being stupid and naive trying to think that he'll become something he's not...
arrrrrrgh well if you made it this far reading this, i appreciate your intrest. i'd love some advice from anyone, sorry for the long post and all the whining
so here's the background. i'll try to make a 3 yr long story short
so i was with my bf for 3 years, but we broke up in june. we'd broken up to take a break in december, and march and last march i had another guy i'd known and been attracted to since i met him 2 years ago come in and came out with his feelings for me. i had to choose, and i went back with my old bf.
well now that it's over, i wanted to start things with boy #2, and he was more than willing, we go to a couple of movies, we talk for hours in the night in a car, he put his arm around me, and we kiss. that's it.
then, the other night he says "i know the girl i want to marry" and he starts talking about an ex gf from years back that he hasn't seen since then. my airplane was shot down.
and after that, it's like, i was so dissapointed b/c i felt like we were starting something.
since then he's become more bold. he doesn't want to kiss me anymore, but let's just say he's become more bold...
this guy also constantly talks about getting drunk, and getting high and sleeping around with all these girls, and i do mean constantly. when we're together i can't help now but to feel like a piece of meat. in march he claimed that he wanted a relationship and wanted to straighten out his life, he's almost done with college and he really needs to grow up. and he knows it.
now it's like he's gone back to his old ways and i never got the memo. our on the way to dating turned into what seems to be nothing but pure lust on his end.
in the meantime, my ex bf has started dating a really good friend (ex friend really butthat's a whole other can of worms) from high school 2 WEEKS AFTER WE BROKE UP. but that sounds a bit hypocritical.
so now, when ever i'm with boy #2, it's like my mouth is filled with everything i feel needing to come out, but i can't help but feel like he'd laugh and feel i was naive for thinking he'd want to be committed. he actually TOLD me the other night that he has committment problems.
so i feel so naive, even wanting to tell him how i feel. and then i feel like if he did only want sex, he'd lie and say he wanted a relationship just to get in my pants (though i'm not like that).
i'm mad that if i pushed him away, our friendship woud drop when i really enjoy his company. i'm pissed that i feel like he's being the stereotypical guy. i'm pissed that i'm falling for him anyway. i'm angry that i'm so close to having something with him and yet it seems so far from being anything worth going for.
am i being naive thinking that there MIGHT be something there worth giving a try? i go to college in august anyway, and he'll be an hour and a half away from me even if he was dating material. i feel like i don't need to be tied down when i go back, being tied down last year really was bad for me. i wanted to start over fresh.
or should someone just slap some sense into me? feel free to just tell me that i'm being stupid and naive trying to think that he'll become something he's not...
arrrrrrgh well if you made it this far reading this, i appreciate your intrest. i'd love some advice from anyone, sorry for the long post and all the whining