I'm sure I'm not the only one.

[EitherOr]

I originally wrote this in the introductions area, but I've moved it her to the correct section.

I'm a 21 year old male student in New York City. I've been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, OCD tendencies, and social anxiety. I also developed PTSD after a head injury.


To be fair, that makes me sound entirely worse than I am. I'm definitely someone who is able to function.

To be honest, I've just felt extremely lonely lately. I realized that I have very few friends. I don't drink, I don't smoke, and I'm rather introverted, so I'm not much of a party person. I play music and write, but I think my neuroses tend to hold me back from doing more with them.

I find that I try to meet people, but I feel a complete and utter inability to truly connect with anyone. It seems that other people laugh and smile so easily, but I find it incredibly difficult. As an example, my brother's friend insisted we all visit his girlfriend and her friends, and while there, they were watching Family Guy. Everything was hilarious to them. I felt like I had to fake a laugh just to avoid looking foolish or strange. Even with my best friend, I don't feel comfortable. Aside from him, though, my only other friends live in other countries. I find that I can talk to people--most people end up telling me their life stories incredibly quickly, but it seems like it's difficult to be "normal," if such a thing exists. I tend to listen more than speak. I suppose I have an intense, introverted personality, and it tends to show. I also find that most people dismiss me--they see a quiet, introverted, intense person and can't be bothered. Other people who have taken the time to know me generally stick around for quite a bit, but then gradually taper off despite my efforts.

I don't know. I suppose things that are bothering me are a decent place to start.

 

[montejocarlo]

you're right - you're not the only one. i'm almost exactly the same. besides SA, i think it has something to do with my personality type. i'm an infp. i find it hard to get intimate with people. as a matter of fact, i've never been intimate with anyone at all. i never relate my emotions to others - not even to my closest friends. from my experience, i'd say it's best to be comfortable with being different. if you don't feel like laughing, then don't laugh even when everyone else does. and don't feel obliged to justify or explain your behavior to anyone. the more you try to change yourself for others, the more likely you are to be awkward around them. when we do things that contradict our intentions, we feel ridiculous for being so easily intimidated. i think it strips us of whatever is left of our self-respect. we have a right as much as anyone to be who we are, no matter how silly, distant, aloof, etc. we don't owe the world anything. we don't need to pay the space we're occupying on earth by being slave to other people's ideas. in my opinion, acceptance is always the key. if we hate ourselves or embarrassed of how we look/act, we will never learn to trust.