Impossible to make friends on todays internet?

[Lud]

I ask this to the users of this forum because I've consistently failed at finding people to make friends with since about 2009, and the few times I have met people, they've turned out to be liars.

Just tonight I met someone on Omegle who I talked to for a straight 1-2 hours about a variety of topics, and they even sent me their picture. After all that time and pushing me to e-mail them, they disconnected immediately when I told them I sent them one. I haven't received a reply an hour later, and after reviewing the pictures, it turns out two of them were uploaded a week ago despite the person saying they just uploaded them. I may just be paranoid, but it seems very suspicious to me, especially because of previous bad experiences with that website.

But regardless of that one instance, it seems no one is interested in anyone these days. I could go to a forum, or a chat room and meet plenty of people 5 years ago, but now people seem content alone.

Does anyone have advice for how to meet trustworthy people online, or websites to go to, to find them? I'm at a complete loss, and really need a reliable friend as of lately.

 

[twiggle]

I think maybe... just try not to take it too seriously.

I believe that friends can be found on the internet. There a few people from here who I would definitely call 'friends', and I tend to trust most others (I think) with stuff otherwise I wouldn't post things quite so personal, but across the internet in general it's kinda like fishing for a minnow in the Atlantic ocean... SO many people are using the internet and so there are a greater number of people abusing it and pretending to be who they're not etc.

My personal gage of whether or not an 'internet friend' is trustworthy is the length of time it takes before they're badgering you for a photo. Don't get me wrong, it's great to put a face to a name, but only once you've been talking for a while methinks. It unnerves me if people are so keen to see a pic when I've only just 'met' them.

 

[MrJones]

In real life it's hard to trust people and internet can be worse because it's easier to lie.

I have met both liars and people who I strongly believe are genuinely good, and I can tell you that there are people I call friends and it doesn't matter if we never saw each other (actually, nobody here knows how I look like XD). I think that the pic thing is not that important.

Anyway, I want to believe that you can find good people, even in the internet, just don't lose hope


What you shouldn't do, in my opinion, is to obsess over the idea of finding friends. I'm sure you'll find someone with who you get along well, just give it more time.

 

[SeniorRedrings]

This happens a lot to me....I mean why bother going to all that effort not to make an effort?
Cognitive dissonance personified,that's what it is.
As for the people who get bored of you after a few months,well I'm just glad I'm not one of their 800 neglected pets.
I bet both sets of these types of people run up massive credit card bills and the like.
Don't wanna know 'em if they do.
Keep it real friend.

 

[deleted #89]

You should really not take Omegle's web site seriously. That site is more for entertainment then to form relationships....People are suspicious on the internet and its common that they lie about certain details.

 

[Rufus]

Dude, it's the Internet....

If you need a reliable friend then go outside and try and make one.

 

[Fighter86]

Use your gut instinct when meeting people on the internet. It's what I use and so far never failed to wed out the suspicious people. I met a close friend on the internet, we have known each other 7 years now I reckon, though we've never met since we live in different countries. And then I met another one, about a year back, which I did met real life since we live in the same city. We really had fun and met several times, though things did sour in the end. It was good while it lasted though, but I would still caution people over making friends over the internet, especially ladies.

 

[FriendlessGirl]

I think maybe... just try not to take it too seriously.

I believe that friends can be found on the internet. There a few people from here who I would definitely call 'friends', and I tend to trust most others (I think) with stuff otherwise I wouldn't post things quite so personal, but across the internet in general it's kinda like fishing for a minnow in the Atlantic ocean... SO many people are using the internet and so there are a greater number of people abusing it and pretending to be who they're not etc.

My personal gage of whether or not an 'internet friend' is trustworthy is the length of time it takes before they're badgering you for a photo. Don't get me wrong, it's great to put a face to a name, but only once you've been talking for a while methinks. It unnerves me if people are so keen to see a pic when I've only just 'met' them.

^This. It also unnerves me if people put too much pressure send my pics. I do get it, faces are important. But I guess I'm just too insecure and suspicious about people in general, specially after the last incident when I sent my pictures to someone. But its nothing personal. I hate when people take these things too personally.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

I wouldn't go on omegle (or any site which randomly sets you up to communicate with strangers) to make friends first of all. Nobody on that website seems to be into a thought-provoking or friendly conversation, I've found 9 times out of 10 the first question asked of me is "asl?" and once the stranger finds out I'm female the only interest is using me for jerking themselves off. Others just want to see your picture or you on webcam, so it's completely based on looks. I've spent hours on it before; same dull questions asked, same dull answers and I can't differentiate one conversation from another after I get off or say I had ones truly worthwhile.

Yep, I have found this to also be true, though I have never been to this omegle website, just basic chat rooms. I have never felt comfortable sending my picture to strangers, and usually once they ask for a pic-which is right after they ask the asl question-if I decline to send them one the conversation ends right then and there. It is just awkward to send a picture to a stranger. But when I express discomfort they act like I am the weird one.

What I want to know is how I can make friends with women online. And then, how I can take those friendships offline. I want female friends!!!! The guys I usually meet online want a girlfriend and I am not interested in that. I have met a couple girls online who I have a lot in common with, all live in the same county, but the real life meetup is yet to be had. Some of them I've known for years too.

I really don't know what to suggest. Sometimes you just want to have a conversation, and online seems to be the easiest way to go about it, but you do encounter a lot of creeps and liars like you said. I would say meet people in real life, but that is even harder

 

[userremoved]

^This. It also unnerves me if people put too much pressure send my pics. I do get it, faces are important. But I guess I'm just too insecure and suspicious about people in general, specially after the last incident when I sent my pictures to someone. But its nothing personal. I hate when people take these things too personally.

Haha yeah if people are really dead set on seeing pics, they probably want to see if they find you attractive. Either that or they're paranoid that everyone they talk to is an 80 year old guy and they have a phobia for 80 year old guys. What Im saying makes no sense, but it does to me. I think.

 

[Beatrice]

Dude, it's the Internet....

If you need a reliable friend then go outside and try and make one.

Lol. This is so true. BUT.....

That's the whole reason he or she is here in the first place, presumably. That being said, I think there are people you can meet online who you can get to know pretty well and talk to, to share experiences and the like. However, obviously it will never be quite the same as having a living, breathing friend in the same space as you, talking with them face to face.

Also, I've found on the Internet there's too many ways things get misconstrued, and also too many ways that friend can hurt you because he or she can simply cut you off and never talk to you again. If it was in person, it would probably be much different in all respects.

I'd stick to real-life friends if you can. Certainly don't rely on your Internet friends as your only ones. That's a recipe for disaster. Been there done that. Better to be alone, IMO, then to only have cyber-people to rely upon.

 

[Feathers]

Yeah, real life friends + internet friends can be a good combination, don't rely on one or the other too much... real life friends can have difficult times/lack of time/stress in own lives/different interests or worldview, so finding people with your interests online can be good too... sometimes it's also easier to talk about some things online, where people understand a certain situation/issue/problem more...

It depends where you look for people and how, yup.. Personally I like to get to know people slowly, via many posts on the forum, then maybe some VMs or PMs, then maybe meetup - I only met up with one person from this site and she was really lovely, I met up with some other people from other websites and usually it was good if we got to know each other over some time...
Forums or special interest websites can be better than just 'random stuff' yup...

The people who want a pic and to meet up soon usually look for 'romantic interests', or just some silly fun maybe...

In RL, maybe join some cool interesting organisations too? You can meet people at events of the organisation/s, and again get to know them slowly, see who they are through interaction etc?
If you are religious (or at least not against it) you can maybe also meet some cool people at church/choir/youth groups/scouts/spiritual retreats...?
Courses can be a good place too, especially if it's something really interesting to you! (That way you have a common topic and they will be interesting to talk with, cause they'll be interested in the same things!)

People have different needs for interaction and/or meet-ups, it may also depend on where they live, health conditions and personal preferences etc. (Some people can also get scared if you are TOO goodlooking! ha! - so maybe it was just THAT?! )

 

[Going Insane]

... Send me your pictures ladies... lol

 

[FriendlessGirl]

Haha yeah if people are really dead set on seeing pics, they probably want to see if they find you attractive. Either that or they're paranoid that everyone they talk to is an 80 year old guy and they have a phobia for 80 year old guys. What Im saying makes no sense, but it does to me. I think.

^Haha it does make sense two of the guys did tell me that they want to see if I was attractive and another one didn't say it directly but still implied it lol.

 

[X-Rated]

I can relate to you , the only difference is that i can't make friends in real life. No matter how hard I try they almost every time end up thinking i`m a loser w/t nothing to offer and because of that they start avoiding me:|...As for online friends i am not interested in making any because it doesn't feel like something natural....you can't do anything together to become closer aside from playing some game online and talking....now don t get me wrong, communication is the key in forming any kind of friendship but it's not the same as in the real life because you can;t express your feelings as accurate as you could be doing it face to face by using nonverbal communication for example...sometimes your posture, your facial expression , the tone of your voice can speak louder than words and apart from this it encourages you to stay more on the computer and it could hinder the development of your social skills in real life....it;s just my opinion anyway

 

[Lud]

I'm well aware of how websites like Omegle work, and how internet friendships in general are. Experience and general knowledge of the internet taught me that. My question was simply about how to find people on the internet that genuinely want friendships. The closest people I've ever known I met online, and I never felt close to anyone I knew in person. That's just the type of person I am, and I've come to accept that. But I can't accept that the only time in my life when I could make internet friends was when I was younger, so I keep trying different websites and methods, yet to have any success. Then I found this message board and thought others here had similar experiences and problems, so I made this thread.

 

[MrJones]

I'm well aware of how websites like Omegle work, and how internet friendships in general are. Experience and general knowledge of the internet taught me that. My question was simply about how to find people on the internet that genuinely want friendships. The closest people I've ever known I met online, and I never felt close to anyone I knew in person. That's just the type of person I am, and I've come to accept that. But I can't accept that the only time in my life when I could make internet friends was when I was younger, so I keep trying different websites and methods, yet to have any success. Then I found this message board and thought others here had similar experiences and problems, so I made this thread.

Well, I'm someone who doesn't ahve friends irl, but I think that looking for friends , though it can work, it's not the best thing, maybe. Instead try what was already said here and look for a forum with similar interests to yours, start chatting about it and see how it goes. Btw maybe you'll find friends here, who knows

 

[-lonestar-]

Yeah don't rely on the internet, its easy t prettend to be someone you are not. Also messages can end up being taken the wrong way, lost in translation. I understand that it seems like an easier route if you got SA or the like. In my opinion you gotta change yourself to be able to join a hobby class or something simillar, read self help books to improve your social skills. I trully believe we are social, some more than others, but in the end there are people simillar to us, or people that apreciate us as we are.

In othert words the internet is not a "real" or reliable place that ensures real human connection, which is necessary for most human beings, we are by nature a social species. In the end you can rely on net friends in a place like this because we are all on the same boat, I've been there trust me.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

I'm well aware of how websites like Omegle work, and how internet friendships in general are. Experience and general knowledge of the internet taught me that. My question was simply about how to find people on the internet that genuinely want friendships. The closest people I've ever known I met online, and I never felt close to anyone I knew in person. That's just the type of person I am, and I've come to accept that. But I can't accept that the only time in my life when I could make internet friends was when I was younger, so I keep trying different websites and methods, yet to have any success. Then I found this message board and thought others here had similar experiences and problems, so I made this thread.

Don't some dating sites have a the option of looking for friendship only? If you're specifically looking for friendships, then maybe those would be something to consider. Actually, given that the internet seems to have a website for absolutely everything you can possibly think of, there must be dedicated websites out there that put people in touch with others seeking friendship.

The title of this thread made me smile btw.

 

[Hamelech]

What one finds on the Net is just people to talk to, sometimes cyberfriends, but even cyberfriends are not actually real-world friends. They only care about you for a couple of years, and suddenly they just forget you. Finding a true friend is really hard, in fact.