LoveFool
Member
Hi guys! I've been reading your forum for a while now and finaly decided to register and ask for your opinion on my situation 
Here it goes. I've known a man for 5-6 years. We share some mutual friends and that's how we met. I was in a relationship with someone then, but I broke it off 4 years ago. Since then we sometimes hang out, but always with many people around. I've always kind of liked him, but then liking turned into something more during last 2 years.
He is friendly around people he knows and a bit cold with strangers. He's 30 years old and as far as I know he never had a girlfriend. He talks to women at his workplace and is not shy in a classic way. He just never had a relationship and claims is not interested in having one. Our mutual male friend claims that he isn't asexual either, because he caught him staring at women in "that" way. He has a protective shield around him, but I can see through his shield that he is gentle and somehow hurt inside. I am a bit shy myself so I'm not a kind of woman who would be pushy or coming on too strong. I just talk to him in a friendly manner and actually try not to show my true feelings, because I have a feeling that it would scare him away and I don't want to lose him. Occasionally I tried to touch him in a casual way on the upper arm as I talked to him and he flinched. I think he is love-shy.
Then things changed. I was throwing a new year's party and my friend said it would be a good idea to invite him. I never thought that he would come, but he did. We all talked a lot and listend to music. We actually only talked to each other 1on1 for only a few minutes. Then at the party he said he wants me to make something for him. I make some kind of art and he orderd something from me. I said Ok.
Then a couple of days later he sent me an email with some of his ideas and wrote that he would like to see me to arrange things. To cut a long story short we met 4-5 times since then 1on1 and talked a lot. I opened up to him a quite a bit. He is still very closed, but not so distant as he was before. He always tries to find solution to my problems and tells me that I'm special and how easy it is to talk to me. I know for fact that there is no other woman in his life with whom he meets one on one and chats like this. I asked him how come he doesn't have a girlfriend and he said something like he has no time for girlfriends. He also said that he has nothing to talk about with them..We also had a few of those awkward moments of silence when we just stared into each others eyes. He also doesn't flinch anymore when I touch him. I am very confused what does it all mean. I really like him as a human being and as a man. I'm too shy to show or say how I really feel and still have the feeling that it would scare him away so I don't do anything. Most of the time I send him an email. He responds quickly and most of the time he suggests that we meet. He comes to my place then we drink and talk. There is always some kind of tension in the air, but none of us says anything. Like there is an elephant in the room and we pretend he's not there. Last time we met he was acting kind of strange and was nervous. Then he asked me in an indirect way if I'm seeing our mutual friend which I'm not. Still he said nothing about "the elephant". I am not sure what to do about this situation, but it's driving me insane. I'm not getting any younger If he's love-shy would it scare him away if I say something first? Should I wait some more?
I would appreciate your angle on things. Thank you very much
Here it goes. I've known a man for 5-6 years. We share some mutual friends and that's how we met. I was in a relationship with someone then, but I broke it off 4 years ago. Since then we sometimes hang out, but always with many people around. I've always kind of liked him, but then liking turned into something more during last 2 years.
He is friendly around people he knows and a bit cold with strangers. He's 30 years old and as far as I know he never had a girlfriend. He talks to women at his workplace and is not shy in a classic way. He just never had a relationship and claims is not interested in having one. Our mutual male friend claims that he isn't asexual either, because he caught him staring at women in "that" way. He has a protective shield around him, but I can see through his shield that he is gentle and somehow hurt inside. I am a bit shy myself so I'm not a kind of woman who would be pushy or coming on too strong. I just talk to him in a friendly manner and actually try not to show my true feelings, because I have a feeling that it would scare him away and I don't want to lose him. Occasionally I tried to touch him in a casual way on the upper arm as I talked to him and he flinched. I think he is love-shy.
Then things changed. I was throwing a new year's party and my friend said it would be a good idea to invite him. I never thought that he would come, but he did. We all talked a lot and listend to music. We actually only talked to each other 1on1 for only a few minutes. Then at the party he said he wants me to make something for him. I make some kind of art and he orderd something from me. I said Ok.
Then a couple of days later he sent me an email with some of his ideas and wrote that he would like to see me to arrange things. To cut a long story short we met 4-5 times since then 1on1 and talked a lot. I opened up to him a quite a bit. He is still very closed, but not so distant as he was before. He always tries to find solution to my problems and tells me that I'm special and how easy it is to talk to me. I know for fact that there is no other woman in his life with whom he meets one on one and chats like this. I asked him how come he doesn't have a girlfriend and he said something like he has no time for girlfriends. He also said that he has nothing to talk about with them..We also had a few of those awkward moments of silence when we just stared into each others eyes. He also doesn't flinch anymore when I touch him. I am very confused what does it all mean. I really like him as a human being and as a man. I'm too shy to show or say how I really feel and still have the feeling that it would scare him away so I don't do anything. Most of the time I send him an email. He responds quickly and most of the time he suggests that we meet. He comes to my place then we drink and talk. There is always some kind of tension in the air, but none of us says anything. Like there is an elephant in the room and we pretend he's not there. Last time we met he was acting kind of strange and was nervous. Then he asked me in an indirect way if I'm seeing our mutual friend which I'm not. Still he said nothing about "the elephant". I am not sure what to do about this situation, but it's driving me insane. I'm not getting any younger
If he's love-shy would it scare him away if I say something first? Should I wait some more? I would appreciate your angle on things. Thank you very much
