Insecurity and problem regarding my strange look

[The_9th_passenger]

Yes. As I explained in another topic I'm 34 (soon 35) and think I am grown up enough and even if i was a bit kiddish how comes a 25 year old boy or girl speaks to me in such a disgusting manner??
I know is because

1.- he/she is too young and feels like he/she is the most powerful human in the world (probably, I think, because never had to face REAL problems to the date)


BUT ALSO

2.- oh my god! when I look in the mirror I see something I don't understand and don't like: it's me. It's not only that I'm ugly but it's that I look like I'm stupid and even worse... I look like I'm a 20 years old silly boy!! :x And there is a strange thing in my face: I don't have beard!! 8O

The thing is others can see my face and I'm sure they think I'm a silly young boy in his early 20's and it only gets even worse (if possible) when I just happen to be quite insecure and shy!! :x
Quite often (at least 1 per year) that all ends up in a fight becausae spanish people has a kind of mania for losing respect to others and I can't just stand some things so I end up punching up someone's nose from time to time (I'm quite strong and fierce like a tiger but curiously that doesn't seem to cure my insecurity)
So............ please somebody lend me a gun with one bullet :roll:

Hardcore joking apart.... what can I do to kill my insecurity, because I don't want to end up in a bad way... you know what I mean. And please don't tell me about psichologist. I already spend 4 years on that shit at an average price of 50$ per week 8O :x with the result that... I'M STILL FUCKING INSECURE!!

 

[The_9th_passenger]

erm....do anything that makes you feel better but please dont shoot yourself. sorry but thats the only advice i would give

Obviously the purpose of this topic is to avoid that tragical ending.
I used to think my self-steem problems had ended but it seems like not. I tell you I'm sick and tired of it all. Put yourself in my shoes.

Still waiting for a little advice or at least a little help/support.

 

[young]

to change your insecurities. you would have to change your thinking. your inner voice. who is telling you these lies. so you would need to start saying over and over some positive affirmations. so help combat your negative thinking.

 

[lostboi]

9th.. perhaps you should take the glass half full perspective here. If you are 35 and look like your 20 that's not a bad thing. Think of how many 35 year old guys who amked way too much and are losing thier hair would give their right testical to look 21!!??

Maybe you should capitalize on that a bit. I don't know how you dress or how you view your sels but maybe you should try a different style. try visualizing your self in a different way. instead of thinking about your self a as a 35 man that looks like a boy re-frame it. look at your self as 35 year old intelect with body of a 20 year old guy.. how much wiser are you? but you still look 20..you have an advantage. use it. Have faith in your self see your good traits for what they are and try and appreciate them. I know you have trouble with self confidence..

pick someone you admire and model them.. if it's james dean act like james dean if it's james bond act like james bond practice in front of a mirror try to think like the people you admire. ask your self how they would react to a situation. Throw your shoulders back stand up streight when you enter a room and practice looking people in the eye.. I know it's hard.. probably one of the hardest things to do.. for me too, I'm still working at it.. but if you can get these things down and just sort of re-frame your situation things will begin to change for you.
We all support you. I know how you feel I'm right there with you.


lostboi.

 

[Septor]

I can understand you The_9th_passenger.I have the same problem that you have,as far as looking younger then I really am.Unfortunately I don't have any better answer then you on it.I guess you could look at it like this.The older you get you will still look young.Sorry I dont have a better answer for you .

 

[silverwolf]

I understand I have felt like I wanted to end it too. Just stay strong and why do you say you are ugly? Why don't you post up a picture of urself sometimes it's your own imagination.

 

[4myself]

to change your insecurities. you would have to change your thinking. your inner voice. who is telling you these lies. so you would need to start saying over and over some positive affirmations. so help combat your negative thinking.

This is part of the 'YoungChallenge', I am doing that now. It feels a bit strange sometimes but everyday you find something else that you like about yourself and slowly begin to feel better.

I also agree with lostboi, you look young and therefore will be attractive for longer.

 

[Angie_05]

I've always had issues of insecurity and jealousy also. This has usually come in the form of hating my body, even though I've never been told that there is anything wrong with it. In a way, I think I know that. I think if I were the only person in this world and there was no one else to compare myself to, I would think I had it all. I'd love myself.

I have this friend who is a model, but I can't take a decent picture. I hate the way I look in pics. I retouch my digital photos, whether or not others really think they look bad. But the more I think about the people I'm jealous of, I realize they have problems that I wouldn't want to have. Like my model friend, she had to drop out of college because the coursework was too hard for her. I've done pretty well in college and it hasn't been too much of a struggle for me. I have realized that everyone I'm jealous of has a problem that I wouldn't want to have.

The point is, every person has things about them that may not be desirable to someone.

Also, any 20 something year old who has to flaunt their so-called knowledge, is just insecure themselves. I am 21 and I realize I am educated but there is sooo much I don't know. And I am okay with that.