is a life without a partner possible?

[sullyS1985]

Another viewpoint: If you asked random every person you met on the street, 95%+ would tell you that its better to have a partner (relatively). So judging from the numbers, yeah its better to live with someone

I think this stat represents nothing, sorry. We have been raised since we were kids to believe we need to grow up and find a partner, marry them and have three kids and a dog. Even kids movies depict this, anyone seen the movie UP? That is a classic example. So the fact that society has been raised to believe everyone would be happier with a partner makes it a social norm in my view but the truth is a good amount of families these days are not happy, watch the movie American Beauty, that is the perfect depiction of the typical family.
I guess what I'm saying is that the fact that 95 percent would say it is better to l have a partner doesn't really mean much to me.

 

[sullyS1985]

Another viewpoint: If you asked random every person you met on the street, 95%+ would tell you that its better to have a partner (relatively). So judging from the numbers, yeah its better to live with someone

I think this stat represents nothing, sorry. We have been raised since we were kids to believe we need to grow up and find a partner, marry them and have three kids and a dog. Even kids movies depict this, anyone seen the movie UP? That is a classic example. So the fact that society has been raised to believe everyone would be happier with a partner makes it a social norm in my view but the truth is a good amount of families these days are not happy, watch the movie American Beauty, that is the perfect depiction of the typical family.
I guess what I'm saying is that the fact that 95 percent would say it is better to l have a partner doesn't really mean much to me.

 

[Harleyq]

I guess what I'm saying is that the fact that 95 percent would say it is better to l have a partner doesn't really mean much to me.

I agree with this. Especially for those that consistently get into bad relationships i.e. people in abusive relationships tend to continue to find themselves in abusive relationships or they're afraid to leave, and one of the bigger reasons is they don't want to be alone - Idk about anyone else but I'd rather spend my life alone than spend it with someone who beats me up and makes me afraid of living. Just one example.

Here's my viewpoint - why are most people in a relationship? Why do they WANT to be in a relationship? So they can be loved and have someone to love, right? So they can have someone to be happier with and share lovely moments and memories, right? Well, what's the point of being in a relationship if you're in one that essentially does none of those things? Why be in a relationship that's more of a hassle than a joy and that just drags you down? What's the point of having someone if that someone doesn't make you feel more complete? For people who've never had a relationship, or have only had 1 or 2 short ones, I know this seems trivial and they may not realize it, but being in a bad relationship doesn't just affect one part of you that you can ignore because "at least you have someone" It consumes all of you, body, mind, and soul, and it REALLY drags you down and it steals your life away. I know it sounds like I'm exaggerating but I swear to everything that I'm telling the truth down to every word.

Also, I agree that it's incredibly selfish to stay with someone you don't love just because you don't want to be alone. I keep imagining what would happen if my bf suddenly told me that the only reason we're together is because he doesn't want to be alone and I was the best he could get (although there are girls he'd like better). I would be crushed. I mean crushed. You might as well take my self esteem, ball it up, line it with my heart, set it on fire, and throw it into a pile of manure.

 

[sullyS1985]

I agree completely Harleyq. Unfortunately I think a good portion of people get in relationships and "settle" for what they can get because there is so much pressure by the parents, family and even society to get married and have kids and support for this is the huge divorce rate. I also think people get married just for the image, especially celebs. It is ridiculous. I personally look for girls that I enjoy talking to and make me feel good when I'm around. In fact I know this one girl named Lauren and she is perfect, I'm always smiling whether I'm talking to her online or in person. The problem is I'm so afraid I will say something stupid that makes her think I'm weird or a creepo and causes her to never talk to me which would break my heart. Forget getting in a relationship with her, she is so gorgeous and incredible I think she is out of my league and not my type but if I could get tp be a great friend and hang out with her all the time as a friend I would jave a permanent smile on my face haha.

 

[Cynic]

I also think people get married just for the image

That's it in a nutshell. People seek relationships (and friendships too for that matter) to improve their status and image. Partners and friends are nothing more than accessories, like clothes, cars or cell phones in this superficial world.

 

[mrb]

Being with the wrong person can be just as bad as being alone, if not worse. I worked with someone who stayed in a bad relationship just because they thought they would never get anyone else. Some people may be just stick with someone out of fear of being alone forever.

yea i know people like that my sister for 1 , she dosent love the guy , just scared of being alone

 

[Luke1993]

We have been raised since we were kids to believe we need to grow up and find a partner, marry them and have three kids and a dog.

I was raised to believe I need to have 2.5 kids as that is the average! Different cultures I guess haha

 

[Harleyq]

I was raised to believe I need to have 2.5 kids as that is the average! Different cultures I guess haha

Yeah, it's culturally unacceptable to even say you don't like kids much less not have any, I've discovered. People think I'm an absolute monster when I say this but dammit, I mean it, lol. Nothing against the "precious darlings" but I find them more annoying than cute and would rather not have a lot of contact with them. People translate this into "I like to kill babies and suck their brains out like the pimento from an olive" and one guy told me I have anger issues that I need to stop taking out onto children

When my bf and I worked together, one of our coworkers asked my bf if we were going to have kids and he said that we don't ever plan on having children. The coworker said we were selfish. Huh?

 

[Luke1993]

I wouldn't mind having a child. But first I'd need someone to have him with lol. Also after thinking it through I decided against it. You see I have one or two physical disabilities particularly in my hip and knees so I can't run or anything (But can still walk!) that my mother passed on to me and it has been in our family tree for some time. Not any of my siblings though, they're all fine they do not have the "cripple gene", which I think a lot of my depression comes from, being the inferior one of the family. Anyway I would not want to pass on my condition to a child and make them suffer as I have. The criple gene ends with me!





......Or I could just adopt. lol

 

[sullyS1985]

I'm sorry one of your ignorant coworkers would say that. Isn't there a problem with overpopulation and you all are selfish for not wanting kids? Hmmmm. I don't want kids and if I'm selfish so be it I still don't want them.

 

[redski]

...
When my bf and I worked together, one of our coworkers asked my bf if we were going to have kids and he said that we don't ever plan on having children. The coworker said we were selfish. Huh?

I think bringing a poor innocent kid into this already messed up world
is a selfish thing to do.

I do agree with most people here that a lot of people get married
or stay in a relationships because of their own insecurities.
I have seen this so many times and unfortunately it usually leads
to divorce or break ups. It's so sad when there are kids involved.

 

[dmdmm]

yea i know people like that my sister for 1 , she dosent love the guy , just scared of being alone

My neighbor is like that too. She has been with two abusive husbands, and is in an abusive relationship with her current boyfriend.

Sad thing is, she admits that the relationship is crap, but keeps going back to these guys.

 

[oui]

Ask Emily Dickinson.

 

[sullyS1985]

Ask Emily Dickinson.

I must be ignorant but I don't know much about emily dickinson

 

[philly2bits]

I must be ignorant but I don't know much about emily dickinson

She was a recluse. Emily Dickinson - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[TheWall]

Yeah, it's culturally unacceptable to even say you don't like kids much less not have any, I've discovered. People think I'm an absolute monster when I say this but dammit, I mean it, lol. Nothing against the "precious darlings" but I find them more annoying than cute and would rather not have a lot of contact with them. People translate this into "I like to kill babies and suck their brains out like the pimento from an olive" and one guy told me I have anger issues that I need to stop taking out onto children

I completely agree with you. It is so annoying to have people tell you that you're weird or that you have issues just because you don't like/want kids.

 

[sullyS1985]

I'm sure people (even on this forum) believe I am weird as can be cuz I'm trying to see if they think it is possible to live a happy life without having a partner.

 

[PhantomPod]

Sure, I guess it's possible. But I'd say it depends on the person. There is a girl I work with and she says that she doesn't want to get married (and doesn't like commitment) and she especially never wants children. Whereas I would really like to get married and start a family some day, yet I've never even been close to having a boyfriend in my 22 years of living.

She has a **** buddy at least though. I don't even have that. Damn.

 

[mrb]

My neighbor is like that too. She has been with two abusive husbands, and is in an abusive relationship with her current boyfriend.

Sad thing is, she admits that the relationship is crap, but keeps going back to these guys.

really annoys me when i hear things like that , maybe someone should go round there and abuse them ........ big sigh

 

[Tempus35]

Fully understand where you are and do hope someday it changes or that I do find happiness.