Is this normal shyness?

[ciel20]

Whenever I don't feel completely comfortable around people I tend to be quiet and shy, but I'm not entirely sure whether it's normal shyness or not.

Basically:

- I have trouble maintaining eye contact - after meeting someone's gaze for a while I tend to look away in an awkward way, which probably makes me seem uninterested in whatever they're saying
- I feel self-conscious about whatever my facial expression is, and the worry makes me adopt an awkward expression
- Sometimes I almost freeze because I feel self-conscious about whatever I'm doing, and I think if I move to do something it'll seem totally unnatural and everyone will know I feel self-conscious. Just knowing that I'm being watched can sometimes cause me to carry out whatever I'm doing in a self-conscious/awkward way.

Plus there're the more normal shy traits (being too quiet, nervous laughter, being unable to think of anything to say (or too self-conscious to say what's on my mind), etc.).

I'm just wondering if the awkward mannerisms I've listed are really a normal part of being shy, or if it's related to something else... I think I've made it out to be worse than it is though (I never experience everything at once, nor do the mannerisms ever affect me to an excessive/clearly noticeable degree).

 

[Illusions]

Whenever I don't feel completely comfortable around people I tend to be quiet and shy, but I'm not entirely sure whether it's normal shyness or not.

Basically:

- I have trouble maintaining eye contact - after meeting someone's gaze for a while I tend to look away in an awkward way, which probably makes me seem uninterested in whatever they're saying
- I feel self-conscious about whatever my facial expression is, and the worry makes me adopt an awkward expression
- Sometimes I almost freeze because I feel self-conscious about whatever I'm doing, and I think if I move to do something it'll seem totally unnatural and everyone will know I feel self-conscious. Just knowing that I'm being watched can sometimes cause me to carry out whatever I'm doing in a self-conscious/awkward way.

Plus there're the more normal shy traits (being too quiet, nervous laughter, being unable to think of anything to say (or too self-conscious to say what's on my mind), etc.).

I'm just wondering if the awkward mannerisms I've listed are really a normal part of being shy, or if it's related to something else... I think I've made it out to be worse than it is though (I never experience everything at once, nor do the mannerisms ever affect me to an excessive/clearly noticeable degree).

Wow, this post sounds like I could've written it. If everything you listed cripples your ability to make friends and have a healthy social life, then it's probably not just normal shyness.

 

[ciel20]

Just to clarify, I know I'm excessively shy - I was just wondering if awkward mannerisms are a part of being shy or if they're caused by something else. In a way, it reminds me Asperger's syndrome (except I'm pretty sure that I don't have AS, because as a child I displayed no symptoms of it).

 

[Bones]

What you described could just as easily be me, if I know somebody is watching me, then I usually go bright red and end up doing it completely wrong, so I'd say it was normal... And even if it does go right, it usually takes 10x longer than it should have

 

[russ1116]

I think those are "normal" traits of someone with a social anxiety problem. I assume that you do not display such traits when you know and are around people you are comfortable with?

 

[Minty]

Yeah, I agree with Russ. If you were simply shy, it wouldn't bother you enough to search for answers online and take the time to join a forum. Shyness is what you described, but to a somewhat comfortable degree.

 

[ciel20]

Thanks for all the replies... I think I must have mild SA (although I only really relate to physiological symptoms, not so much the cognitive/avoidance symptoms). I actually feel a bit better being able to put a name on what it is.

I assume that you do not display such traits when you know and are around people you are comfortable with?

Yeah, around friends and family I'm fine - but meeting new people, talking to someone I'm attracted to, etc... disastrous.

 

[TimArends]

ciel20, All those mannerisms you listed are normal parts of shyness and quite common.

 

[punklove]

I experience all of those things as well. I think if you start avoiding situations in which you know for a fact that your going to be uncomfortable then it starts being a problem.

 

[ciel20]

I think I must have mild SA (although I only really relate to physiological symptoms, not so much the cognitive/avoidance symptoms). I actually feel a bit better being able to put a name on what it is.

In retrospect, I disagree with this... I don't think it's normal shyness or SA. I've never seen another shy or socially anxious person show the same awkward mannerisms that I have when I'm nervous. With me it's like "awkward mannerism disorder" that only occurs on dates and other key occasions.

 

[ciel20]

I can't believe I wrote this thread. Almost all of these mannerisms disappeared this year. I'm not sure why, except that I ended up being more social than I had been in previous years (which is strange, because my social life last year wasn't terrible).

Just putting this out there as a happy ending of sorts, I guess.