MikeyC
Well-known member
Okay, so as most of you know, I went to see Fiona over the weekend.
Everything was pretty normal until I realised that on Saturday night she had been less affectionate than she had been in past visits. She's not a very affectionate person, anyway, so being even less than that was noticeable for me, particularly because I was still at the same level.
On the drive home, I sent her a text, asking her if my level of affection is overbearing. Her reply was, "I'm just someone who's used to their own space, I think. I definitely do not mind you in it, I'm just not used to it and the constant touching. Does this make sense?
During the back and forth, she said that I haven't made her uncomfortable, and that she needs time and patience because she's never had a boyfriend before (I already knew this, so that confirms it). I can understand her reluctance for affection because she's gone 27 years without it and doesn't need it as much as I do.
Which leads me to the issue at hand.
I need more intimacy than she does. I love being hugged and kissing her and all that kind of stuff, where she can take it or leave it. I'm willing to give her time and patience, like she said, but there will come a time where my physical needs are not being met and I'm going to feel starved. Is this something I should be bringing up with her (when the time is right)? Is it selfish to even think this way, knowing she's already going out of her way to kiss me in the first place and allow me to touch her? Will she ever break out of her shell, or will I remain overbearing forever? Should I scale back what I do? This whole thing is on my mind and it makes me upset thinking about it because I wonder if she'll ever increase her affection. We don't see each other very much - every six weeks if we're lucky - so I like to make the most of it.
Help a brother out!
Everything was pretty normal until I realised that on Saturday night she had been less affectionate than she had been in past visits. She's not a very affectionate person, anyway, so being even less than that was noticeable for me, particularly because I was still at the same level.
On the drive home, I sent her a text, asking her if my level of affection is overbearing. Her reply was, "I'm just someone who's used to their own space, I think. I definitely do not mind you in it, I'm just not used to it and the constant touching. Does this make sense?
During the back and forth, she said that I haven't made her uncomfortable, and that she needs time and patience because she's never had a boyfriend before (I already knew this, so that confirms it). I can understand her reluctance for affection because she's gone 27 years without it and doesn't need it as much as I do.
Which leads me to the issue at hand.
I need more intimacy than she does. I love being hugged and kissing her and all that kind of stuff, where she can take it or leave it. I'm willing to give her time and patience, like she said, but there will come a time where my physical needs are not being met and I'm going to feel starved. Is this something I should be bringing up with her (when the time is right)? Is it selfish to even think this way, knowing she's already going out of her way to kiss me in the first place and allow me to touch her? Will she ever break out of her shell, or will I remain overbearing forever? Should I scale back what I do? This whole thing is on my mind and it makes me upset thinking about it because I wonder if she'll ever increase her affection. We don't see each other very much - every six weeks if we're lucky - so I like to make the most of it.
Help a brother out!