Job becoming unbearable.

[electric pepper]

Hi

I really need some advice. I am stuck in this part time job at the moment that I really hate. It's this shop in England called argos, has a really weird set up were they don't have any stock on the shop floor. They just have a big stockroom at the back, when customers buy stuff the information comes through on a bit of paper saying where to get their item from.

The thing is I am really not very good at the job, I make quite a lot of mistakes and have and had few written warnings or verbal warnings. The manager really has it in for me and can just tell she thinks I am complete idiot. On top of this all the other staff there are very loud and outgoing, whereas I am very quiet. They keep making digs at me for this. Saying why are you so quiet? you don't say anything do you? I could kind of put with that because people have always been asking me those questions.

But recently it's got worse and now I just feel really uncomfortable. Because my manager knows I am not really a people person. she hasn't trained me on the
tills as you have to be smiley and chatty, one way they make a lot of money is buying selling insurance to customers. Anyway the other week, when we finished we were walking out. And one of the girls said why hadn't I been trained on tills, they all sort of made jokes about this like he doesn't even talk to us let alone though customers. Just talking about me as if I wasn't even there it felt like.

The other thing now is if there is a group of them in the staff room and I walk in. They will just talk to me to laugh about how awkward I am, or the sound of my voice and then start impersonating that. Or just ask me questions and laugh at the answers I give.

But I want to leave but people say I should find a new job first, I've been looking a bit and haven't found anything. It's got to the stage now were I can't take much more, just thinking about resigning and hoping I find a new job quick. What would you do? Sorry for long message I needed to vent, and I don't have anyone else to talk to at all.

 

[Ignace]

Horrible collegues you have there .. You should leave, money's not worth the emotional torture. Can you ask your boss to fire you instead of resigning yourself ? I'm not sure how it is in England, but in Belgium you gotta get fired to have the right for an employment fee.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

The thing is, you won't find a job quicker if you leave your job, because it's easier to get hired when you already have one. It's also a lot easier to explain why you want to switch job than why you left the other one or got fired (less anxiety during interviews). So if you quit, it might take longer for you to find a new one. In the end it all depends at which degree you need that money, and if you can afford being unemployed for a while.

 

[mikebird]

Being laughed at
is the worst thing because we're on different levels between Royals people who never stop hearty, deep laughs: hoooo, woooo, haaaaa haaa ohhhh!!

Looking down at everyone
There are homeless, peasants... everyone somewhere in between.

I rarerly respond. If not, it makes 'em enjoy more laughter

I get really defensive, assertive or angry, it's worse for me
Or acting with the same behaviour to mimic them, it can be a tough task
earning some respect. There is a certain type of balance to strike.
It's mostly beyond my interest

It'd be silly to go into the school teachers' common staff room

 

[sahxox]

Those people sound absolutely horrible!! I don't know what type of human beings would be so rude and immature! I copped a bit of the same treatment in high school but this was from ****scent boys, not adults.
This will be really hard but try not to get too down from it. Any feeling of inferiority which could naturally come from such disgusting treatment could be subsided with the knowledge that these people sound like pieces of trash - no empathy or maturity or social graces and cowardly.
Hang in there and don't apologise, vent all you want! Good luck job hunting

 

[electric pepper]

Thanks for all your advice. At times I have wondered if I was just over reacting to how they are with me. Nice to know that you guys agree about it. The thing is I have bad the job for almost two years, you'd think after that my self esteem would improve but I think it's actually lower than it was before I started. Just hate the way they think I am some incapable idiot, I did go to uni and get a degree, didn't enjoy that much though either everyone else was so sure of themselves and confident. People are so quick to judge they just assume I am stupid because I am quiet. Like they don't stop and think maybe there is a reason he is so quiet, or consider the fact I am depressed. Just assume I am on drugs, because I have quite a monotone voice and don't really do excitement or passion. Saw a quote the other day that cheered me up a bit don't know if anyone else has seen it. "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt" Abraham Lincoln.

 

[sahxox]

Thanks for all your advice. At times I have wondered if I was just over reacting to how they are with me. Nice to know that you guys agree about it. The thing is I have bad the job for almost two years, you'd think after that my self esteem would improve but I think it's actually lower than it was before I started. Just hate the way they think I am some incapable idiot, I did go to uni and get a degree, didn't enjoy that much though either everyone else was so sure of themselves and confident. People are so quick to judge they just assume I am stupid because I am quiet. Like they don't stop and think maybe there is a reason he is so quiet, or consider the fact I am depressed. Just assume I am on drugs, because I have quite a monotone voice and don't really do excitement or passion. Saw a quote the other day that cheered me up a bit don't know if anyone else has seen it. "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt" Abraham Lincoln.

One of the worst things I found was comparing myself to others. Still do it, and self-esteem vanishes. It's really difficult when everyone else APPEARS to be confident and successful and happy. But I've spoken with a few too many people about my own insecurities to learn that actually most of these other 'perfect' people have them too. They don't know what your journeys about, like you don't know what there's is.
I struggle with 'excitement' and 'passion' too because I have depression as well, a lot due to overthinking what everyone around me is 'thinking' about me, creating this strange fictitious realm that everybody is focused on me and I can't make a single mistake.
Sorry don't know if this apparent tangent makes any sense, but this got me started haha
If only more people would adopt Lincoln's philosophy!

 

[electric pepper]

One of the worst things I found was comparing myself to others. Still do it, and self-esteem vanishes. It's really difficult when everyone else APPEARS to be confident and successful and happy. But I've spoken with a few too many people about my own insecurities to learn that actually most of these other 'perfect' people have them too. They don't know what your journeys about, like you don't know what there's is.
I struggle with 'excitement' and 'passion' too because I have depression as well, a lot due to overthinking what everyone around me is 'thinking' about me, creating this strange fictitious realm that everybody is focused on me and I can't make a single mistake.
Sorry don't know if this apparent tangent makes any sense, but this got me started haha
If only more people would adopt Lincoln's philosophy!

Yeah makes sense to me. I find it so hard to stop comparing though, it's really bad but sometimes I wish I could swap places with other people as well. But it's like Kurt cobain said "wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are". I am full of good quotes today. I am always thinking how what I want to say will affect the person I am going to say it to, like will it upset them.I'll over
****yse it. Then usually just end up not saying it, because I am worried about how they'll react.

 

[neohorizon]

i'm working 5 months now, i noticed a huge difference in myself nowadays (at work), in the first month i was so insecure, with a constant brain fog and worries. I work in the purchasing dept of the city hall i have to call dozens of suppliers every day, in the beginning it was killing me, my mind locked under pressure, i used to act like a real retard in front of my boss or important people also when i needed to answer fast or give long informations. I used to stutter, panic or remain in silent when i should answer.

I think its about taking risks and trying to improve, communicative people take more risks them us, they didnt begin the job knowing everything, what they are supposed to say to the clients, but they fail and learn, thats nothing wrong to act like a fool if your trying to do your job, people will laugh, but will forget and you learned something.

I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES in the beginning that nowadays i dont give a f* anymore! I dont try to be funny or cool, i'm just doing my job.
i learned how i have to talk with the suppliers , by training different ways (many stupid ones) and watched my co-workers talking and they helped me (because i asked for help).

Before you quit your job, give a last try leaving your comfort zone! You already feeling bad, try to take some risk... I would be feeling like my first month if i didn't face those obstacles.

Sorry my english, just trying to help... i know how you are feeling

 

[electric pepper]

i'm working 5 months now, i noticed a huge difference in myself nowadays (at work), in the first month i was so insecure, with a constant brain fog and worries. I work in the purchasing dept of the city hall i have to call dozens of suppliers every day, in the beginning it was killing me, my mind locked under pressure, i used to act like a real retard in front of my boss or important people also when i needed to answer fast or give long informations. I used to stutter, panic or remain in silent when i should answer.

I think its about taking risks and trying to improve, communicative people take more risks them us, they didnt begin the job knowing everything, what they are supposed to say to the clients, but they fail and learn, thats nothing wrong to act like a fool if your trying to do your job, people will laugh, but will forget and you learned something.

I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES in the beginning that nowadays i dont give a f* anymore! I dont try to be funny or cool, i'm just doing my job.
i learned how i have to talk with the suppliers , by training different ways (many stupid ones) and watched my co-workers talking and they helped me (because i asked for help).

Before you quit your job, give a last try leaving your comfort zone! You already feeling bad, try to take some risk... I would be feeling like my first month if i didn't face those obstacles.

Sorry my english, just trying to help... i know how you are feeling

Hey
Thanks for your advice, I didn't realise you weren't English until you mentioned it. I have applied for a couple of new jobs today so hopefully i'll get one them, in the meantime I am just going to carry on work hard and try and ignore all the shit. The aim is to have a new job before the Christmas rush, don't think I can face another Christmas there unbearably busy.

 

[twiggle]

Hi electricpepper,

Your post brought back personal memories of jobs like that which I have had in the past.

I don't think you've anything to feel bad about; the world of work is all about trying out different kinds of job and seeing what suits you best. Customer service and frontline work in the shop is obviously not something suited for you because you don't enjoy it - that's nothing to feel ashamed about. A lot of people feel the same way.

You have to wonder what's up with these people you are working with. They're obviously over 18 years of age; so why are they being so childish? The thing that always staggers me about people like that - who make fun of shy people - is that they clearly aren't intelligent enough to consider the idea that perhaps if they didn't make you feel so uncomfortable with their jokes, you might feel more inclined to say more.

It's good that you're applying elsewhere. You will find something else and whatever you do it will be worthwhile. I once had a job that upset me so much it prompted me to quit it to go travelling - perhaps not something I would have considered doing had I been more content at work. The way these people are acting is forcing you out of your job, but maybe that's because you have something far better to go to.