Hellhound
Super Moderator
Okay. I've seen the feedback I got, and it seems that many of you wanted to hear what I think about this topic, so here we go.
I'm going to copypaste this post I made on the Facebook group. Also, excuse my language.
You know, guys... I think I am starting to understand a little all of this "you're too nice" move that some girls use when they don't feel like you are their type. I don't think it applies to every single girl, some are bitches, some aren't. But I will refer to those who aren't.
Just a theory:
I've been talking to someone I met on DA, through private messages, for quite a while. While the guy is polite, smart, caring, etc. He has something that sometimes makes me feel rather uncomfortable. He compliments me too f*cking much.
There's nothing wrong with complimenting someone. Though, I am the type of person who doesn't like to be complimented in excess, I don't like being put on a golden pedestal. Some girls do like to get their a$$ kissed like this, well, I don't.
I am 99% sure that the guy is just trying to be nice, which is NOT a bad thing. But anything in excess is not good either. He sometimes spends a really long time just talking about me and how good, attractive, intelligent, etc. he thinks I am. Sure, I do appreciate the words (even though, I don't think I am all of that) but we are reaching a point in where I'm starting to feel too... strange. And not in a good way.
No, I don't find it creepy. I find it too excessive. Like I said, I don't like it when people try to kiss my a$$. I like conversations to be two sided, not all about me and nothing about them. So, my assumption is that some girls feel the same way when they're approached by a guy who is maybe a newbie or unsure about how to communicate well. And not all people know how to word things correctly. "You are too nice" is probably the easiest way to explain themselves.
I personally would say "Dude, calm down with the compliments, it's awkward. Let's just be equals, m'kay?". That's because I'm blunt and an a$$hole at times. But others, most people, try not to be like this, not openly at least.
So there you go. From my own perspective, why the "you're too nice" might happen. No, it's not because you're actually nice. It's because you might be kissing a$$. Believe me, it can be very awkward for the person you talk to, unless they have an ego the size of the Sun.
I'm going to add one more thing before hitting "submit". I am perfectly aware that there's stupid people in the world who reject others for the lulz and for a number of other nonsensical reasons. So no, I am not justifying ALL rejections.
Second, I am speaking from a personal experience, but I assume that I'm not the only one who's gone through this, and I'm certain that there are others like this guy. To those who are like this guy, try to be balanced. Don't smother the other person in compliments and don't go to the extreme of thinking "I have to be a jerk".
Tl;dr: Don't kiss a$$ because it's awkward.
I'm going to copypaste this post I made on the Facebook group. Also, excuse my language.
You know, guys... I think I am starting to understand a little all of this "you're too nice" move that some girls use when they don't feel like you are their type. I don't think it applies to every single girl, some are bitches, some aren't. But I will refer to those who aren't.
Just a theory:
I've been talking to someone I met on DA, through private messages, for quite a while. While the guy is polite, smart, caring, etc. He has something that sometimes makes me feel rather uncomfortable. He compliments me too f*cking much.
There's nothing wrong with complimenting someone. Though, I am the type of person who doesn't like to be complimented in excess, I don't like being put on a golden pedestal. Some girls do like to get their a$$ kissed like this, well, I don't.
I am 99% sure that the guy is just trying to be nice, which is NOT a bad thing. But anything in excess is not good either. He sometimes spends a really long time just talking about me and how good, attractive, intelligent, etc. he thinks I am. Sure, I do appreciate the words (even though, I don't think I am all of that) but we are reaching a point in where I'm starting to feel too... strange. And not in a good way.
No, I don't find it creepy. I find it too excessive. Like I said, I don't like it when people try to kiss my a$$. I like conversations to be two sided, not all about me and nothing about them. So, my assumption is that some girls feel the same way when they're approached by a guy who is maybe a newbie or unsure about how to communicate well. And not all people know how to word things correctly. "You are too nice" is probably the easiest way to explain themselves.
I personally would say "Dude, calm down with the compliments, it's awkward. Let's just be equals, m'kay?". That's because I'm blunt and an a$$hole at times. But others, most people, try not to be like this, not openly at least.
So there you go. From my own perspective, why the "you're too nice" might happen. No, it's not because you're actually nice. It's because you might be kissing a$$. Believe me, it can be very awkward for the person you talk to, unless they have an ego the size of the Sun.
I'm going to add one more thing before hitting "submit". I am perfectly aware that there's stupid people in the world who reject others for the lulz and for a number of other nonsensical reasons. So no, I am not justifying ALL rejections.
Second, I am speaking from a personal experience, but I assume that I'm not the only one who's gone through this, and I'm certain that there are others like this guy. To those who are like this guy, try to be balanced. Don't smother the other person in compliments and don't go to the extreme of thinking "I have to be a jerk".
Tl;dr: Don't kiss a$$ because it's awkward.
