Just some questions

[B-girl]

Hi everyone I'm new to this site and needed some advice. I'm not diagonsed (sp?) with SA because i have not gone to the doctor but have most of the symptoms. All my life i have had negative thoughts, anixety and only realized it as i got older because when you are young of course you are not able to realize things like that. At first I thought i was just depressed some sort of chemical imbalance or something but as I kept researching about depression it didn't sound like me. You see those people had voices, they had lives i feel like i don't.

I feel so ashamed of myself because i can NEVER start a conversation, i feel like i can NEVER have fun, i feel like I don't have a personality, i can't make phone calls, i can't speak my mind, when people say "oh you look so pretty" i just smile like an idiot. when guys give me compliments i smile and shyly walk away acting like i'm busy. I can never be the center of attention i have dreams of having a beautiful, huge wedding but how?? i can't take attention and its heart breaking

I have so many dreams of having a wonderful husband, having wonderful relationships but how can i? it just doesn't seem fair to me for anyone to have this its so frustrating and i can't take it anymore. I have a great big family lots of cousins, aunts & uncles they have lots of parties all fun but i can no longer go i can't have a converstation with my own aunts who i've known all my life, my best friends (who on my lowest days i wonder how i got) i can't even talk to being the real me anymore. Its so :x oh it just makes me so MAD! all my life i've been nice but lately i have realized you know what i'm being too nice just so they won't get mad and i won't have to fight i've never been a fighter but it feels FAKE and i cannot stand FAKE.

I've always thought something was missing in my life and couldn't put my finger on it if i do have SA i will put all my faith and hard work into overcoming it. I want to have fun, reach out to others and learn from my experiences. but most of all i want to feel like i'm normal too which is a big task which i'm willing to tackle. I also had a question on whether or not SA was genetic i think my dad has SA acts exactly like i do its like a mirror image. I think a lot of his frustration comes out in anger and over the years i have finally been able to understand him and I.
Thank you for listening hope i make some sense!
luv b-girl

 

[IcanDoIt]

yes you made sense..

and about the genetics thing, i think its also true..

i have seen my dad shaking, nervous while printing some documents..

and also he loves to do things that will make people like him..

and i thought i have inherited some of his attributes..

 

[SilverLiner]

I've never been sure about shyness or SA being inherited or not. I have two sisters. My oldest is like me, very shy and quiet, yet my younger sister is the complete opposite, very out going and confident etc.

B-side girl - I know how you feel and I know a lot ofpeople on this site relate to you. It's so comofrting reading this site and knowing you're not alone with this.

 

[mrkyle]

a few comments...
firstly, the heredity issue of SA- id have assumed it is hereditary; whether or not it is genetic or not im not sure. if it isn't genetic, id have imagined it would be inherited from parents in a similar fashion to other behavioural patterns.
secondly, I, as a non sufferer, am not really in a position to give advice. are there any posters here who have previously recovered from SA?
if so, id be interested to hear about it.
cheers
kyle

 

[Angie_05]

Researchers don't know if SA is genetic or not. They suspect it is because twins who are raised separately both have it a good percentage of the time, but not 100%. They suspect that we can inherit it, but it doesn't show up unless certain life events encourage it. I hope that makes sense.

I think there is definitely help for recovery. Knowing that I'm not weird, but just have SA has helped me a lot. I can kind of put my fear to the side as just something that my brain does for no reason. I think that it requires a lot of work though, and it's not always comfortable.

 

[B-girl]

I'm just stuck

Thanks everyone for the replies. Right now i'm just at the point were i'm stuck. I feel like i'm missing out on everything which makes me more and more depressed. It feels great that you guys understand but no one around me does. They don't know i'm sad and frustrated. I want to be there for my family, friends but i just don't know how. Do you guys ever feel like you're just there and you have no purpose? thats how i feel right now. I was talking to this guy right now that i like but i don't even get why he likes me i feel like all he does is talk (i like to listen) but i feel i don't give anything to the relationship i just don't get it. thanks again for listening. luv bgirl

 

[LittleMissScareAll]

I think it can be genetic...I've always had terrible nerve problems, and my mom & dad don't seem to be nervous people too bad, but my grandpa is so I think he's who I took after with alot of my mental problems. Insanity also runs in his family so I fear that will get me someday too. 8O