Love-Shyness

[Carlsbad]

Yeah, I need to vent. I have this problem, but I try my best to overcome it. I can talk to women, even the ones I am interested in. But I never had a girlfriend, and I am in my early twenties. I see all my friends hooking up and claiming they found 'love'. I have been rejected countless times, yet I hopelessly continue. Recently I cannot muster the effort anymore.
What really hurts is when I think I finally had made a breakthrough: I got her number, she seems to like me, I treat her respectfully, etc cetera: She vanishes. Her number has changed, her email and all contact information. At least I would be deserving of a "No, sorry, I do not want you." or something of the sort. They just disappear, and really hurts me deep, like a mace into the stomach. The soul crushing makes me feel pessimistic, and believe no matter what I do, I will be alone, and die alone. It is really frustrating because I try to crawl out of despair, and I get kicked right back in. I always blame myself whenever potential relationships disappear, but it is really cold to leave a man hanging around like that. They treat me like if I were a serial killer, but I am a kind, yet lonely man! Cut me some slack!

 

[TooShyShy]

If you can talk to women you are attracted to (or want to be involved with) then you are not love shy at all.

If you haven't met the right one yet, thats something entirely different. Maybe your not looking in the right places..or attracting the right type of women???

Usually a girl (even shy ones) can give off signals they are TRULY interested so not to lose an opportunity with a nice guy.

Are these women pursuing you in the beginning???

 

[Carlsbad]

If you can talk to women you are attracted to (or want to be involved with) then you are not love shy at all.

If you haven't met the right one yet, thats something entirely different. Maybe your not looking in the right places..or attracting the right type of women???

Usually a girl (even shy ones) can give off signals they are TRULY interested so not to lose an opportunity with a nice guy.

Are these women pursuing you in the beginning???

Ya know, I think you are right, I used to be really bad off, and I could not even look at an attractive girl without looking immediately away. I am just so high-strung and stressed out, I really do not know what my problem is. My heart is always in my throat whenever I talk to women, and I cannot seem to control my nervousness, I can only imagine what I look to other people: probably look like I just got shot! I probably have some other anxiety or phobia, because after I bite the bullet and talk to the girl, I think to myself: 'Why the hell did you do that? She is probably dating some other guy! What made you think she likes you? You are an idiot for thinking you had a chance!' Crazy stuff like that is always popping in me head.
Anyways, I really digressed: I really tried to learn the signals women give off, but I am so nervous and pessimistic: I think that women that appear nice to me, are the same to everyone. I was always right in my scenarios. When I say nice, I mean basic human courtesy: smiling when making eye contact, saying excuse me, asking how are you, etc cetera. I have never been approached by a woman before, to my knowledge. Nothing blatant like asking if I am dating, etc cetera, or giving me any gifts. I can never keep a conversation going 'cause I get too damn jittery.
I hope to run into a woman such as yourself: I read your other posts where you were being nice to this super shy guy at your work, and that shows great character. I hope you will have great success!

 

[notmyrealname]

Carlsbad, relax. You will be FINE. You're in your early 20s! Live!

A lesson I had to learn is to never take things personally. Do not interpret other people's signals as negative assessments of you. Nobody knows you as well as you know yourself.

 

[Carlsbad]

A'ight, I will try to relax. I just get so nervous and anxious when I see my friends paired up and seemingly ready to marry, when I myself have never had a girlfriend. I guess I should fugghet about 'em and try to take things one step at a time.

 

[eso]

I had this for a long time. Still probably would have it if I wasn't already with a gf now. I'm sure if I broke up I'd go right back to this.

I met my gf when I was close to 26, my very first romantic kiss on the lips the day before that 26 b-day. Before that I was love shy - i don't need to say what happened, it was exactly the same situations you all have had. It hurt so much, I will never never never forget that feeling. Even though I am lucky now, trust me guys, that feeling and pain you will always remember even if you do get better later on. It's good in that I can have that to count my blessings, though.

What annoys me is people who talk about how 'loserly' they are when they had at least one girlfriend as a teen or had some dates or whatnot. Or had sex with more than 1 girl in their life.. Or had more than one gf at all in their life, period. As far as I'm concerned those people are 'lucky' or 'normal'. Now I do know a guy that has had 2 gfs but he started at age 24 and after 25, he's been dry til now at age 34-35 and is like a hermit. That guy I can say deserves my empathy, but not some others. But even then, the fact that he had 2 girls in the past is better than me and I can't sit here and say I really feel *that* much empathy for him. In fact, if by some miracle he does get a new gf I will basically completely lose the small amount of empathy I do have for him.

So yeah, I do feel like I've beaten this and my sense of normalcy in my life has reached a point where I am satisfied. It's like you feel a HUGE relief after you finally get a gf, that's the only way to describe it. But like I said, I can't forget my past and I know how darn lucky I am and thank fate I have what I do.

 

[Havocan]

I think I'm love shy. At least I can relate to the symptoms and requirements described about it. It's very frustrating since it's preventing you from having a love life and not feeling so alone all the time. I've never actually been on more than one regular date which didn't go well at all, though she contacted me again and wanted to do more, but my shyness and all that made her see me as boring and she lost interest^^.

So yeah I agree with the post above on not show empathy for those who complain about this but still they're able to shag every weekend.

 

[TooShyShy]

Thank you carlsbad, i am trying to hang in there and not give up. I need him to get more comfortable with me before anything could ever happen betweeen us which i still hope for but its getting more difficult to press forward with this i will admit. Its sad bcuz walking away doesn't seem like an option i can entertain for more than a day or two.

I just pray everyday things turn around for him and that God will work through him and guide him in all this.

 

[faithnomore]

I had this for a long time. Still probably would have it if I wasn't already with a gf now. I'm sure if I broke up I'd go right back to this.

I met my gf when I was close to 26, my very first romantic kiss on the lips the day before that 26 b-day. Before that I was love shy - i don't need to say what happened, it was exactly the same situations you all have had. It hurt so much, I will never never never forget that feeling. Even though I am lucky now, trust me guys, that feeling and pain you will always remember even if you do get better later on. It's good in that I can have that to count my blessings, though.

What annoys me is people who talk about how 'loserly' they are when they had at least one girlfriend as a teen or had some dates or whatnot. Or had sex with more than 1 girl in their life.. Or had more than one gf at all in their life, period. As far as I'm concerned those people are 'lucky' or 'normal'. Now I do know a guy that has had 2 gfs but he started at age 24 and after 25, he's been dry til now at age 34-35 and is like a hermit. That guy I can say deserves my empathy, but not some others. But even then, the fact that he had 2 girls in the past is better than me and I can't sit here and say I really feel *that* much empathy for him. In fact, if by some miracle he does get a new gf I will basically completely lose the small amount of empathy I do have for him.

So yeah, I do feel like I've beaten this and my sense of normalcy in my life has reached a point where I am satisfied. It's like you feel a HUGE relief after you finally get a gf, that's the only way to describe it. But like I said, I can't forget my past and I know how darn lucky I am and thank fate I have what I do.

thats what i need

 

[andy12345]

I truly feel your pain and I did not know the medical definition of "love shyness - the most destructive illness for men in the world probably.

I found out what I had too late
I have strong symptoms of inattentive attention deficit disorder,
strong symptoms of dysthymia = almost lifelong mild depression
and love shyness
social anxiety
Touch deprivation thats nasty as well

I am 34, never touched lovingly a girl/woman including my mother since age 8.

Can hold my own in conversation but as soon as I would want to try and love I know its pointless.

I want a nice woman, but I can't find one
I want love, cant get it

blah blah

I mainly learn about myself on the internet and its painful

I am truly a f%%p of epidemic proportions.

BUT, about 4 months ago I let it out to doc/parents/relatives. its easier now to relate about depression etc.

The thing is, I am aware of how the human body responds to loving touch.

the good feeling chemicals are very intense.

I have a feeling that its possible that my dysthymia, inattentive add and anxieties may all be caused by my love shyness

I can talk to women as friends and I know they respect me greatly

But, I dont go out, not many male friends
no female friends.

Seems, as someone posted before, want it to end argh
Don't want to die though
Got to try.

Don't give up. Just make yourselves stronger and help others. Do volunteer work, spread yourself around, network if you can ( I can't lol)

Be happy to help people men and women alike.

I guarantee, that if you can spread yourself around, a woman will eventually get bored of waiting for you and will possibly force you together.


Now, why do we have the problems?
My opinion and research about love shyness

1) As we touch less and love less our parents, we lose the ability to want to find a gf etc. We become numb because our brains can't handle it.

2) We are intense creatures. I think I love women so much that it hurts.
I want to protect them all lol. But then I want to protect all from suffering, children, animals, men women. I feel like a knight in armour sometimes but without the ability to move.

3) When we encounter a woman we will be so intense that she will be scared as "shit" at the way we can love them within probably 10 mins lol
We look desperate as well and more we become aware of it the most stressed we get.

4) The older we get, the worse it gets. I neglected myself badly. Physical injuries due to rashness and a who cares why bother attitude.

5) As we get older, we get weaker, but stronger in other ways perhaps.

6)Women need a man who is strong, but calm and collected, not us.

7) We love women and I am sure that most of us here would never hurt them deliberately unless they left us. It's possible that we may commit suicide if we somehow find love and then lose it. It's the final straw is it now

As I write this I am practically crying from the strain of it.
It is so depressing and so sad to know that there are others.

But, the internet is great and we can learn a lot from it.

Its a great tool.

We are the good guys lol, we are men 2.0
We are evolved and dont think of women as meat, I hope.

I expect that most of you can give love to a pet without problems.

If you can't then you are worse off even than me.

The pain is great but I am trying to go onwards and upwards.

I am a robot with directives lol. I feel empty inside.

Took me a long time to find out my issues.

Apparently 1.5% of men suffer this and they try to find love online buy thai brides. In fact a relative of mine goes to thailand for dubious reasons me thinks.

Have any you ever even considered prostitutes??????

I thought about finding some F£$£ buddies or prostitutes to see how I would do with touching a woman lol. Done research but not gone through with it.

Instead I frequent the chatterbox uk forums and I find people there who need an ear or an eye to chat to. I get private messages from women who don't talk in the main chat.

I am always polite.
usually within 10 mins I know their life story lol

I ususally spend about 3 hours on a good private chat

Try chatterbox uk particularly comfy corner

just go there for the chat and the chat only.
See if you can make people laugh.

Be youself, don't be shallow, dont play games, tell them all straight ok.

Love yourself and remember that you have an illness.

I tell people straight that about 4 months ago I woke up and realised that I needed to get a life.

My honesty and openess always works on good people who are open minded.

Its great to talk.

treat the female pm's like a person in need, help them , chat to them, give them something to think about.

Treat them like a sister.
But make sure they are not pm 10 other men with their life story lol and trying to find the best offer

So far out of 5 conversations the woman I think have practically loved me, but would not say it.

All in good time. The trouble is men and women need to be strong . Both partners must be mentally healthy or one must be very strong and develop the other.

I write this from my heart while it still ticks lol.

I hope within 1 year to change a lot and find a good woman.

The pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! good luck all, you are certainly not alone

Long live the internet, medium of truth and openess.

bye

 

[Carlsbad]

I truly feel your pain and I did not know the medical definition of "love shyness - the most destructive illness for men in the world probably.

I found out what I had too late
I have strong symptoms of inattentive attention deficit disorder,
strong symptoms of dysthymia = almost lifelong mild depression
and love shyness
social anxiety
Touch deprivation thats nasty as well

I am 34, never touched lovingly a girl/woman including my mother since age 8.

Can hold my own in conversation but as soon as I would want to try and love I know its pointless.

I want a nice woman, but I can't find one
I want love, cant get it

blah blah

I mainly learn about myself on the internet and its painful

I am truly a f%%p of epidemic proportions.

BUT, about 4 months ago I let it out to doc/parents/relatives. its easier now to relate about depression etc.

The thing is, I am aware of how the human body responds to loving touch.

the good feeling chemicals are very intense.

I have a feeling that its possible that my dysthymia, inattentive add and anxieties may all be caused by my love shyness

I can talk to women as friends and I know they respect me greatly

But, I dont go out, not many male friends
no female friends.

Seems, as someone posted before, want it to end argh
Don't want to die though
Got to try.

Don't give up. Just make yourselves stronger and help others. Do volunteer work, spread yourself around, network if you can ( I can't lol)

Be happy to help people men and women alike.

I guarantee, that if you can spread yourself around, a woman will eventually get bored of waiting for you and will possibly force you together.


Now, why do we have the problems?
My opinion and research about love shyness

1) As we touch less and love less our parents, we lose the ability to want to find a gf etc. We become numb because our brains can't handle it.

2) We are intense creatures. I think I love women so much that it hurts.
I want to protect them all lol. But then I want to protect all from suffering, children, animals, men women. I feel like a knight in armour sometimes but without the ability to move.

3) When we encounter a woman we will be so intense that she will be scared as "shit" at the way we can love them within probably 10 mins lol
We look desperate as well and more we become aware of it the most stressed we get.

4) The older we get, the worse it gets. I neglected myself badly. Physical injuries due to rashness and a who cares why bother attitude.

5) As we get older, we get weaker, but stronger in other ways perhaps.

6)Women need a man who is strong, but calm and collected, not us.

7) We love women and I am sure that most of us here would never hurt them deliberately unless they left us. It's possible that we may commit suicide if we somehow find love and then lose it. It's the final straw is it now

As I write this I am practically crying from the strain of it.
It is so depressing and so sad to know that there are others.

But, the internet is great and we can learn a lot from it.

Its a great tool.

We are the good guys lol, we are men 2.0
We are evolved and dont think of women as meat, I hope.

I expect that most of you can give love to a pet without problems.

If you can't then you are worse off even than me.

The pain is great but I am trying to go onwards and upwards.

I am a robot with directives lol. I feel empty inside.

Took me a long time to find out my issues.

Apparently 1.5% of men suffer this and they try to find love online buy thai brides. In fact a relative of mine goes to thailand for dubious reasons me thinks.

Have any you ever even considered prostitutes??????

I thought about finding some F£$£ buddies or prostitutes to see how I would do with touching a woman lol. Done research but not gone through with it.

Instead I frequent the chatterbox uk forums and I find people there who need an ear or an eye to chat to. I get private messages from women who don't talk in the main chat.

I am always polite.
usually within 10 mins I know their life story lol

I ususally spend about 3 hours on a good private chat

Try chatterbox uk particularly comfy corner

just go there for the chat and the chat only.
See if you can make people laugh.

Be youself, don't be shallow, dont play games, tell them all straight ok.

Love yourself and remember that you have an illness.

I tell people straight that about 4 months ago I woke up and realised that I needed to get a life.

My honesty and openess always works on good people who are open minded.

Its great to talk.

treat the female pm's like a person in need, help them , chat to them, give them something to think about.

Treat them like a sister.
But make sure they are not pm 10 other men with their life story lol and trying to find the best offer

So far out of 5 conversations the woman I think have practically loved me, but would not say it.

All in good time. The trouble is men and women need to be strong . Both partners must be mentally healthy or one must be very strong and develop the other.

I write this from my heart while it still ticks lol.

I hope within 1 year to change a lot and find a good woman.

The pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! good luck all, you are certainly not alone

Long live the internet, medium of truth and openess.

bye

Yeah, you pretty much summed up how I feel! Very good post, and I hope I do have some good fortune in the future.

 

[TooShyShy]

What do you do if the love shy man can talk to EVERYONE else in the building except for you..even the other women in the building (mostly married w/kids of course) but still he can laugh, joke, goof around..until he sees you and then he can't smile and looks like he just swallowed his heart and lost his best friend all at the same time!

What can you do about this if he just can't get comfortable bcuz of his anxiety?

 

[andy12345]

I know perfectly how it goes.

Its a tension caused by your mind


Its a bit like Attention deficit disorder, once you have a deadline or you do something that means something of great importance to you, you get extremely stresses and the chemical flood in your brain makes you FAIL!


Eventually they may have to grab you.

 

[Carlsbad]

What do you do if the love shy man can talk to EVERYONE else in the building except for you..even the other women in the building (mostly married w/kids of course) but still he can laugh, joke, goof around..until he sees you and then he can't smile and looks like he just swallowed his heart and lost his best friend all at the same time!

What can you do about this if he just can't get comfortable bcuz of his anxiety?

As risky as this may sound, I think it might be good to tell him how you feel. Maybe wait until Valentine's Day and give him a card telling him how special he is to you! I never got a Valentine's Day card, and chances are he has not either. He would hold it dearly as a memento that someone likes him very much. He could be less 'alien' around you, and possibly keep a brief conversation without schvitzing!

 

[TooShyShy]

I did that on Christmas. I baked cookies for him ONLY and gave him a card that was very personal..it was about the best things in life are not always wrapped in packages..they are smiles meaning you care, hugs given right on time and hearts that haven't revealed themselves yet..believe it or not it was a Christmas card. I thought it was perfect!!!!! I often wonder what he did with the card

And i even wrote a few personal items in it as well telling him how i appreciate all he does for me and how he doesn't have to be so good to me type thing. He liked the cookies alot bcuz he thanked me for them twice, once when i gave him the cookie tin HE WAS SHOCKED AND AT A LOSS FOR WORDS JUST SAID THANKS and then a few days later he followed me (lol) into the lobby and thanked me again as we were talking about something work related...he just blirted it out...i could tell he was still alittle astounded!!!!!!!!!!

He also was very nervous for a day or two after i gave him the card and cookies but then he went rigth back to "showing up" where ever i was at work and saying hello all the time. He seems to do that whenever i make a gesture towards him.

When i asked for his email (he gave me his work email) he gave it to me right away..minutes later left it in my work mailbox but then after i emailed him a few days later..he got all scared and avoided me for half the day but then approached me before i left to say he got it and the next day went back to saying hello and being around me at work again.

Its a pattern with him...what should i think??? Sometimes i wonder if he just can't help it and is at a loss of what to do..h wants this BUT he's MORE afraid of it!!!!!!!

He has issues with avoidence i notice, only with me though.

I just wish i knew what was so scary??? If it wasn't for the fact that we work together i know NONE of this could ever be happening in his life. He definitly would need to be around a girl EVERYDAY in order to even deal with or handle his feelings or the relationship...it would never happen otherwise i could see that now.

 

[Carlsbad]

I did that on Christmas. I baked cookies for him ONLY and gave him a card that was very personal..it was about the best things in life are not always wrapped in packages..they are smiles meaning you care, hugs given right on time and hearts that haven't revealed themselves yet..believe it or not it was a Christmas card. I thought it was perfect!!!!! I often wonder what he did with the card

And i even wrote a few personal items in it as well telling him how i appreciate all he does for me and how he doesn't have to be so good to me type thing. He liked the cookies alot bcuz he thanked me for them twice, once when i gave him the cookie tin HE WAS SHOCKED AND AT A LOSS FOR WORDS JUST SAID THANKS and then a few days later he followed me (lol) into the lobby and thanked me again as we were talking about something work related...he just blirted it out...i could tell he was still alittle astounded!!!!!!!!!!

He also was very nervous for a day or two after i gave him the card and cookies but then he went rigth back to "showing up" where ever i was at work and saying hello all the time. He seems to do that whenever i make a gesture towards him.

When i asked for his email (he gave me his work email) he gave it to me right away..minutes later left it in my work mailbox but then after i emailed him a few days later..he got all scared and avoided me for half the day but then approached me before i left to say he got it and the next day went back to saying hello and being around me at work again.

Its a pattern with him...what should i think??? Sometimes i wonder if he just can't help it and is at a loss of what to do..h wants this BUT he's MORE afraid of it!!!!!!!

He has issues with avoidence i notice, only with me though.

I just wish i knew what was so scary??? If it wasn't for the fact that we work together i know NONE of this could ever be happening in his life. He definitly would need to be around a girl EVERYDAY in order to even deal with or handle his feelings or the relationship...it would never happen otherwise i could see that now.

Damn, I am just as confused as you are now. I dunno what will work for him! If I ran into a woman as patient and kind like you: I would be speechless! It is just unless I got asked out, I would probably think the woman is just toying with my emotions, and I would clam up again, in fears of being rejected and cast aside. I think the best thing to do is to bite the bullet and ask him out. Make it really basic at first: ask him for coffee or for lunch. My other weak spot is helping people when they need it, and he sounds similar too: tell him to have lunch with you because you ain't have anybody to sit with. Maybe he will make one more baby step towards you. It is worth a try!

 

[TooShyShy]

I know....i have been living this for a long time now and i am really feeling that no matter what i do or say he will just continue on the way he is which is heartbreaking!!!

I don't feel he'd say yes bcuz he's too anxious and worried about what would happen next..could he be in a relationship with me or anyone??? I'd be his first..which is fine with me but i know he must have some shame abut it. He's in his late 30's so i see his inexperience as a major barrier for him.

I think thats the biggest issue, also...he still can't be around me sometimes, he gets so anxious and scared but yet he won't stay away for long...he keeps coming back and showing me interest but i know it could never be enough for us to have something. He can't give anymore than he does. He says hello, looks at me, hangs around where ever i am but then thats it!!!!!!!! Its like after that he has nothing else he can give me but yet he won't go away. He could avoid me if he wanted - he could stay away but he doesn't!!!!!!!!! Its very hard on me bcuz i really do want him and seeing him interact with others, especially female coworkers is difficult, i sometimes find myself getting jealous bcuz he can't be comfortable and relaxed with me the way he is with them.


And thats very sad for me. I know, at least i feel he is sad about it as well..there has got to be a reason he is like this iwth ONLY ME bcuz when i see him with other people..including attractive females (mostly married)he's fine..talkative, friendly, funny..then he gets around me and its as if he forgets how to function - and that in itself will keep him from ever being able to give himself over or ever open up with me.


I hope this made sense

 

[Artanis]

Hi, I'm new and I have Avoidant Personality Disorder and social anxiety disorder primarily because of chronic love-shyness.

I'll be back later with more to say though... I'm currently at work...

 

[andy12345]

Hello Artanis,

Know the feeling.

Now, at age 5, on holiday in usa. My parents wanted to leave me at a creche of some sort and for some reason (don't really know why lol) they could not leave me like the other kids as I was just crying non-stop.

I never really feel like I belong on this planet lol.



I have strong symptoms of the following.
Dysthymia (mild chronic depression - lifelong so far) lasts 25 or more years leading 2 short cycles of double depression

Love shyness even towards my mother

Mainly Inattentive Attention deficit disorder 90% inattentive, 10% hyper ish

generalised anxiety + social avoidant

Touch deprivation due to lack of loving touch etc and not really feeling like I want it.

I am quite empathic, the dysthymia does not provide a buffer in my brain to protect me from negative events or positive events.
My mood responds very quickly and dangerously to these events

For me, going to a friends house ( of which I have 1 or 2lol) I a peril.
Before I go I think - within 6 hours I will be back here in the lonelyness and emptyness of life when the fun is over.
For me, I fear the quiet after the storm lol

Now, some of the issues above are caused by the others.
The core issue may be dysthymia which can mimic ADD.
I think that I also totally suffer touch deprivation as no love in my life.

I get stressed very easy, wears me out.

I have chronic "why bother trying to improve syndrome"

I am literally stuck at the bottom of deep depression in a hill.

I have mental elastic bands tied to me at 90 degree orientations.

For me, trying to climb out and achieve things, find a woman, get a life, get hobbies is impossible because the bands get tighter as I go further up and then BANNNNNNNNNNGgg I am back to square one with even stronger feelings of doom and gloom.

I never realised the symptoms of dysthymia until I found it online.
Shocking, very shocking.
Only found love shyness, a killer illness and possibly leading to stalker like intense behaviours in a love interest (not myself lol)

For my brain, anything that has to be treated delicately, diplomatically or lovingly will cause me instant repulsion problems.


We all want a partner, cant get one for fear .
We want to live, but why bother.

How many of you have a lifelong hole in your being? An emptyness, like the series dexter (really fits me except I dont have urge to kill people lol)

I can related to dexter in so many ways it's scary.
An excellent series imo.

So, people lets chat more and understand ourselves.

I do, but do you understand yourselves fully yet?

About 5 months ago I had no choice but to goto doctors and all that rigmarole. Now, I have recently been listed as mentally ill and undiagnosed as of yet.

So, its a right f%$%off and I am trying to hold it together.

This morning about 2 am I was feeling really down and I knew I should goto bed to reset myself lol - so I did.

I cant get out of bed in the morning.
I might be a classic owl especially with ADD as my best hours are when there is very little to stimulate my brain.

Less noises, better concentration.
Wicked.
Allways loved computer games cos they stimulate your brain and keep you focused. Good therapy.

Lets have a nice chat eh? Really try to understand the root causes.

 

[LonelyGuy48]

Too much to take in here!

I am a man, I am very loving, caring...but no one wants me!!!

I am not ugly (So i've been told), I am just shy and AGORAPHOBIC!
I don't have a lot but I have ME to offer - I

oh lord

Just talk to me someone please

send an email at least