maybe its all about SHAME

[Anonymous]

tell me something. Everyone probably has something theyre ashamed of...so tell me everyone. what are your personal everyday shames? whatever it is...personel, sexual desires, rather your lazy at home, ashamed of your academics, poor performer, your weight, the way you talk, etc... SO WHAT ARE YOUR SHAMES???

 

[applesewer]

lol, yea I got a couple that I’d better keep to myself! But I think generally I feel ashamed every time someone asks me to do something and I chicken out. My lack of courage, that’s what makes me feel shame…at least I think it’s shame I feel…I’m not sure. Feeling like I’ve let people down, that makes me really sad.

 

[LilMissTragic]

I have nothing I'm ashamed about...Hmmm, damn it people, yet again I have nothing to add to yet another thread.



<<<gonna go out and do something shameful

 

[beakersafreak]

I'm ashamed of the fact that even with an IQ of 118 I cant figure out a way to tell the guy on the phone that I want peperoni on my pizza so I order it on-line.

 

[tommydog]

LOL @ LilMissTragic

and

LOLOL @ beakersafreak

hehe

yer im ashamed that im lazy .. i didnt used to be this way .. and actually i am improving .. but yes i am indeed very lazy .. and im not currently employed .. this is a source of shame for me. And shame dosnt help sp obviously ... so i have to make a change and fast.

i guess theres not anything else at the moment .. stuff im maybe a bit embarressed about .. but not ashamed of

 

[raoul]

..

 

[Anonymous]

lol.....listen, there's nothing wrong with ogling beautiful young women....oh, you watch it for the story-lines? yeah, right :roll:

 

[Fredscars]

shames.haha
umm...*counts*

lol no..umm..i think, a bit like tommy im lazy..i have a pile of homework, yet ill ocme home and watch tv, go on the computer etc etc...and then get into trouble about it, promise to hand it in the next dsay, and then do exaclty the same the next night

and im a bitch to my bf. i odnt mean to be..but im touchy and offended easily.

 

[tommydog]

i reckon you seem to have a pretty good sense of humour actually fred .. iv had a go at you a few times so far and you seem to have taken it in your stride :lol:

 

[Fredscars]

i reckon you seem to have a pretty good sense of humour actually fred .. iv had a go at you a few times so far and you seem to have taken it in your stride :lol:

youve had a go at me?
8O
lol...
i think i have a tendency not to notice these thing sometimes

 

[tommydog]

hehe ok well if you do notice in future you can know that im only joking :lol:

 

[Fredscars]

i'll keep that in mind matey. for now, im going to bed

 

[Anonymous]

shame

it's all about shame. I just stumbled on this site by the way. I've probably had a social phobia for ages, but I've only come to be aware of it a few years ago. I got all the symptoms, shyness, difficulty making eye-contact, difficulty speaking in front of a crowd. I hate meeting people (i hate people in general). But i sat down a while ago and dissected myself from beginning to end. Bringing up repressed memorys to the surface as well as situations that may have affected my psyche. it was a journey, let me tell you that much... i have low self-esteem, pract. no confidence, except when im drunk. My Social disorder was so intense when it first started, that i had diarrhea for like a year and 2 months, non-stop!!! i was so scared and anxious, that i would shit water (sorry for the details) four times a day before i could finally leave the house, and this was only because my friends forced me to. Personally i gave up on people, i didnt want to go out at all, and it got really bad.. i almost killed myself twice, but the thought of the pain that i would inflict on my family somehow stopped me. It's all about shame.. I'm ashamed of my humanity... I'm ashamed to go to the bathroom in public (not so much number one), i'm ashamed that i cant make eye-contact, i'm ashamed of farting, burping, stomach nosies around people... the list goes on... but i force myself to keep going, i dont know why. the only positive side of the whole thing is that i feel i've come to a greater undertanding of the world... it's givin me a lot of insight... one must suffer to gain wisdom.

 

[Fredscars]

you ever read Frankl's man's search for meaning?
its a great book, he was a jew put in a concentration camp, and he talks about how suffering can bring about a meaning to live. i suggest you read it if yuo havent. it certainly inspired me.

 

[LilMissTragic]

OMG St.anger...youll be telling us your ashamed of living in a minute!!

 

[Fredscars]

maybe he is..

 

[applesewer]

Actually, thinking about it, I do feel shame all the time. It’s the reason why I hold my breath when a room of people suddenly goes quiet. It’s the reason why I can’t look people in the eye. It’s the reason why I run away from party’s….isn’t it? If I truly felt that I had nothing to hide then I’d have no trouble looking people in the eye. I guess that’s what SA’s all about. Psychologically we’ve somehow all ended up with excessive (and undeserved) amounts of shame. Well, I can’t speak for everybody…maybe I’m wrong. But I think this whole fear of being embarrassed is the same as being ashamed, kind of…isn’t it? A man who is totally comfortable with himself, who has 100% accepted the way he is, would never get embarrassed. Although, yea, I guess that’s the difference between being ashamed and being embarrassed, cause the same man, only if he were 100% sinless and good would he never be ashamed. Right? Am I on the wrong tracks? I dunno…I’ll keep thinking.

 

[Shadow]

I'm ashamed of who I am. I'm ashamed that I procrastinate so much. I'm ashamed of how I've treated people in the past. The list goes on.

I'm working on things though.

 

[GettingThere]

Actually, thinking about it, I do feel shame all the time. ..... If I truly felt that I had nothing to hide then I’d have no trouble looking people in the eye. I guess that’s what SA’s all about. Psychologically we’ve somehow all ended up with excessive (and undeserved) amounts of shame. Well, I can’t speak for everybody…maybe I’m wrong. But I think this whole fear of being embarrassed is the same as being ashamed, kind of…isn’t it?

Hi worrywort,
No, I disagree. I think that its all about fear not shame. Actually that is what a phobia is by definition. I believe that in most cases of SP the phobia - or unreasonable fear - has come about because of mistreatment in our pasts [together with other factors such as genetics] at some time (bullying, name calling, being put down). The mind for some reason becomes phobic as a defence mechanism.
It reminds me of a line from a Bruce Springsteen song which goes; "end up like a dog that's been beat too much 'til you spend half your life just a covering up".

 

[applesewer]

Hmm, yea, maybe it’s somewhere in between shame and fear, this feeling we have…cause I’m not convinced that what I have is a phobia. I guess it all comes from the same part of the brain, but well, I don’t fear people like I fear ghosts, I fear their judgement. I guess phobia’s come about when we learn to wrongly associate harmless situations as threatening. So yea, maybe you’re right. I know it’s not genuine shame, cause when I’m on my own I don’t feel ashamed, only when I try to tell other people. But I’m sure shame’s got something to do with it. Maybe I just don’t want to admit I have a phobia!

I dunno, but also, I don’t think words help much. Language is a 1 dimensional tool to communicate 3 dimensional feelings. The words “fear” and “shame” are just words, they don’t really capture how I actually feel. Maybe we need a new word for what we feel…. “Shear” or “Fame”….ooh profound!