my first step

[durda_dan]

last night i was sleeping, and my girlfriend hugged me from behind, and i wanted to turn around and hug her back and then i got a thought "If you turn around you will be in the front page of te newspaper for murder. and i had to tell myself no, no no no no, and then i forced myself to turn around and hug her. and my heart was beating, and my breathing was heavy, and i thought i was going to pass out as well as that my mind felt like it was in fast forward.

after that i felt so much better. like it was a huge milestone.
I know it's a small step , and some of you might read this and think, so what i do that all the time, But for me it was a big deal. and i am very proud of myself for that.

 

[getbornagain]

Every moral victory no matter how small should be celebrated. If we were able to dwell on the good thoughts like we do the bad ones, think of how good life could be.

 

[Boo32]

Don't belittle yourself. You facing your fear and turning around is a great victory for you. It is hard for us with OCD to be able to do that. It might sound "silly" for someone else to hear, but to us it sounds normal. You were able to overcome the anxiety and hug your girlfriend. It is so hard for us to face down those fears and feelings. Congratulations. And, as you saw the next day, you weren't on the front page of the newspaper. So hopefully the next time you face those feelings you will be able to overcome them again.

On a side note, I read about your cat, I am really happy you brought the cat home. That is good energy, man. Pets I feel definitely do help people with anxiety, illnesses, etc. They don't judge you, and love you unconditionally. And petting an animal feels good and we need that sometimes.

Also, I lived in Japan for four years. You're in China? I know it can extra hard overseas with OCD, but stick with it and have fun.

 

[durda_dan]

thanks man. i appreciate it