Ads7800
Well-known member
I don't get it! I've entered my second year of college (I'm studying the last year of highschool because I didn't finish it when I was there) and even though I should realise that those who do laugh at me are not very nice, I still find myself wondering why I am considered a loser. But I'm not a loser! I'm a dedicated student who asks questions, corrects teachers when they're wrong, does very well in class and chooses to hang out with the geeks because the geek clique is by far less judgmental.
So what the fuck!? I think I'm seen as weird in my class for not wanting to socialise with the 'cool' kids. Laughter is all around. No! I'm not being paranoid; I can see the smirks and can hear the laughter. How am I meant to deal with this? Everday I put on a face of courage, of determination. But it's all bullshit. Deep down I want to go crazy! I want to face them and say, 'Hey, what's up your arse? So I'm different and don't socialise as much as you. What's so fuckin' funny about that? How can you laugh at a person who is obviously in a bad state right now? Do you laugh at people in wheelchairs because they can't walk? Do you criticise the blind because they can't see? No! So why am I your emotional punching bag for all your fucked up insecurities?
Shit, I am so upset right now (I think the profanities make that quite clear). It's just so difficult. I have social phobia and I'm trying to ace my exams. Shit! Talk about stress! Not only do I have tests to contend with (tests at the equivalent of the American SA-fuckin'-T's), but I also have people who think it's okay to take away the dignity of another individual to deal with!
Oh boy, this is my first true rant on this forum and I hope the swearing is not too offensive for you all. I'm just so mad right now!
So what the fuck!? I think I'm seen as weird in my class for not wanting to socialise with the 'cool' kids. Laughter is all around. No! I'm not being paranoid; I can see the smirks and can hear the laughter. How am I meant to deal with this? Everday I put on a face of courage, of determination. But it's all bullshit. Deep down I want to go crazy! I want to face them and say, 'Hey, what's up your arse? So I'm different and don't socialise as much as you. What's so fuckin' funny about that? How can you laugh at a person who is obviously in a bad state right now? Do you laugh at people in wheelchairs because they can't walk? Do you criticise the blind because they can't see? No! So why am I your emotional punching bag for all your fucked up insecurities?
Shit, I am so upset right now (I think the profanities make that quite clear). It's just so difficult. I have social phobia and I'm trying to ace my exams. Shit! Talk about stress! Not only do I have tests to contend with (tests at the equivalent of the American SA-fuckin'-T's), but I also have people who think it's okay to take away the dignity of another individual to deal with!
Oh boy, this is my first true rant on this forum and I hope the swearing is not too offensive for you all. I'm just so mad right now!