My social phobia/social anxiety disorder

[Silatuyok]

Hey Terry, welcome! I haven't gotten a chance to watch your video yet (it will have to wait til morning), but I read your posts and I think you are very brave for telling your story and stepping outside your comfort zone! I love bugs, insects, arachnids, and creepy crawlies of all types so we should get along just fine.
It sounds like you are doing a good job of keeping in touch with your support groups, and that is great. It is easier for me to get out in the "real world" and talk to people face to face, but I would find it difficult to keep in touch with family and friends through telephones and emails. Funny how that works out.
I wish you the best of luck, and I look forward to getting to know you!
Marie

 

[Hornetboy]

Hey Terry, welcome! I haven't gotten a chance to watch your video yet (it will have to wait til morning), but I read your posts and I think you are very brave for telling your story and stepping outside your comfort zone! I love bugs, insects, arachnids, and creepy crawlies of all types so we should get along just fine.
It sounds like you are doing a good job of keeping in touch with your support groups, and that is great. It is easier for me to get out in the "real world" and talk to people face to face, but I would find it difficult to keep in touch with family and friends through telephones and emails. Funny how that works out.
I wish you the best of luck, and I look forward to getting to know you!
Marie

I sincerely appreciate your warm welcome. It means a lot to me, Marie! My mom's middle name is Marie and I had an aunt named Marie too. They are both dead now. They died way too young from cancer. At least they are no longer suffering.

I think that you will like my video once you watch it. I want to make more in the future so I can continue helping people who are afflicted with SAD. Plus, it will be a video blog for me. Making and posting it was NOT easy for me!

It is AWESOME that you are into "scary" creatures too! Yeah, you and I both are like two peas in a pod. Hehehe!!!

I am glad that I came here because this forum is my support group!

Well, my family and friends live in different states. I can't see them in person even if I wanted to! Though I feel the most comfortable interacting with people online because I can hide behind a computer screen. I am not face to face with them in real life social interactions (Which would be a nightmare for most SAD sufferers if they are real life social interactions!). At the same time, I NEED that physical human contact though.

Hmmmmmmm... If you have SAD, then it is odd that real life social interactions are easier for you than online interactions (I wish that it was this way for me!). Then again, SAD affects different people in different ways.

I am looking forward to forming a great friendship with you too!

 

[starbox]

Hi Terry, thankyou SO MUCH for your explanation of how SAD affects you. I have it somewhat, would rather be home than socialising, dont trust people generally, but still manage to hold down a job, go shopping etc. The main thing for me is that I think my eldest son (24) has it much worse, and it helps me to understand where he's coming from. He was totally 'normal' till he went to secondary schoolat 12. I know he got bullied there but he would never tell me much, then I noticed he was just retreating into his own world, living in his bedroom, playing computer games literally all the time. He didnt have one friend he'd hang out with, and though he kept going with school, uni, p/t job, he'd just get in & shut himself away, wouldnt even talk to family by choice, he'd come down & get supper when he knew we'd gone to bed. It's a terrible feeling as a parent that there's this concrete wall between you & your child. Once when I was feeling depressed myself I told him I didnt think he cared about me & he said he just didnt feel any good at communicating but did care.
Anyway he's been living up in London (40 miles away) nearly 18 mths now; doing well at work but never phones me, I call him once a week but I have to keep up a running monologue or there's just total silence, he never asks me a question. He came up briefly last Xmas. I met him in London for a meal recently but he straight after said he had to get off & do stuff and I came home feeling so sad, thinking well I'M a retiring type too but not to that extent. But now I see people can be much worse affected than I am .
Do you think your SAD is in any way genetic? Or caused by bad experiences? Or just an illness that you're afflicted with? Would be interested to hear others' thoughts on this one. I personally have a taciturn, anti-social dad; had a slightly strange childhood, was mentally bullied at secondary school & tried suicide as a teenager, as an adult generally feel people laugh at me & leave me out in the cold (and in a catch 22 situation, I look coldly at these individuals with a critical eye so we're never going to get any closer). I have 2 sons- the younger one is a total extrovert, very popular!
Anyway thanks again for your thoughts. Can I just say you seem a really nice guy, hope all goes well, do keep in touch. I've now got to steel myself to go & do a job I dont like with people who (mainly) dont like me. Can feel a knot in my stomach already! Much love x

 

[Hornetboy]

starbox, I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to share your story with me. It means a lot! I am very happy to learn that my own story is helping you to understand your eldest son better. Also, I am glad that you seem to be managing you SAD fairly well. Though I am so sorry to hear about your eldest son! That must be tough! Have you actually talked with him about SAD? Perhaps tell him that you have SAD and you can understand why he isolates himself from people. Perhaps even let him know there are other people going through the same thing as him so he won't feel so alone. I can definitely relate to your son! Heck, he might even benefit from checking out this support forum for SAD sufferers!

Please don't ever feel that your son doesn't care about you since he is not very sociable with you. His SAD has taken over his life. This is nothing personal against you. Okay? With all due respect, if you don't mind me saying, please don't make him feel worse by making him feel guilty about not spending time with you. I'm sure he feels bad enough as it is trying to deal with the pain of his severe SAD! I know that it hurts you that he is this way. Though if you want to blame someone or something, then place the blame on SAD. Just continue to let your son know that you love him and that you are there for him. I am really hoping that things will get better for both you and your son. If not, then I would recommend seeking professional help because things can't continue the way they are now. I wish you the best of luck and I send good energy your way.

I know exactly how I got my SAD. Years ago, I made the HUGE mistake of using meth (aka: speed or ice) and then going to a party. Well, I ended up freaking out at this party because I was having an extremely bad scary trip. After I left the party, I descended into the depths of hell (This is what it felt like to me!). I was a different person when I emerged from this terrifying experience. This is what triggered my SAD for me. I was fine before that. This illegal drug permanently messed me up. This is what happens when you use drugs while in a bad relationship. I've learned my lesson the hard way and now I am paying dearly for it! I don't use meth anymore, but I will never be the same. I have SAD thanks to this hideous drug. Knowing that I did this to myself makes it even worse for me! I believe that I would not be afflicted with SAD if I would have never used meth in the first place... unfortunately! Well, at least I know what caused it.

Though there are different causes of SAD. Here are some: Social anxiety disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Thank you very much for your kind words about me. I am looking forward to getting to know you better.