need everyones advice please.

[despise]

i really dont like posting new topics, but i need help and i dont know where else to go. due to the fact that i've had 3 speeches to do at school in one week i got very very stressed and ended up blerting out to my english teacher that im sure i have sa. i havnt done any of these speeches infront of my class, thank god. but all my teachers are advising me to go and see a doctor. and if im not 'classified' as having social phobia i wont get any marks for my speeches. im not worried that the doctor will say theres nothing wrong...because i know there is.
so...whoever here that has gone to a doctor or someone else professional for help id just like to know how things happen, because im just so damn nervous about making an appointment. I could see my school councellor first i guess.
anyway - do they ask all the questions or do you have to try and describe to them exactly whats wrong? i know i'll find it really hard to speak and will most likley have an emotional break down accidently. so i thought if i could prepare myself more it could possibly help me.

please please please help me...and im sorry for posting this crap.

 

[GettingThere]

Basically you will be asked questions.

It all depends on who you see. If you only see a local Doctor then you wouldn't expect to be asked too many questions. If you see a Psychologist or Psychiatrist then you will be asked more questions. I guess that this is only to be expected.

Personally, I did not think that it was such a big thing once I managed to deal with my pride. The thing is that emotional issues really are fairly common and when seeing a professional you shouldn't feel too bad for that reason plus the fact that they are used to dealing with these things.

Just try to relax and remember that its for your good. By getting treatment you are giving yourself the best possible chance for the future that you really desire. Be brave and go for it!

Good luck with it all.

 

[Nightshade]

For me asking my doctor for help was one of the best things I ever did. If I hadn't done that I don't think I would have got anywhere. I wouldn't have found here either because I didn't know what was wrong with me, and without a name for my problem I was totally alone.

I had a list of things written out when I went to the doctor, and went through a whole lot of "do you think this mole looks ok" and other things like that before I got to why I was really there. After having been quite calm and normal, as I tried to explain my problems interacting with people I just started shaking and crying and choking and was so obviously distressed that she could see something was wrong.

I explained what I could, and she didn't say much except to say "I think cognitive behavioural therapy might help you" and "here is the name and number of a good psychologist, I'll write you a referral letter". Then I had to go and do the same thing with the psychologist, but by that time I had some hope that I could be helped and it was easier. For the record, she was right, cognitive behavioural therapy has helped me a lot. I've worked hard and I am a lot better than I was 6 months ago.

You are absolutely right that preparing for something like the doctor's appointment helps.

If you think you can't tell the doctor what they need to know, write it down beforehand. Social anxiety problems aren't rare, and I'm sure the doctor will have seen it all before. Remember that - it is their job to help you, they are NOT going to laugh or think you are a freak, they are going to be asking themselves what is wrong and how you can be treated.

 

[Butterfly]

Absolutely, it's an excellent idea to see a Doctor. Talking to your school counselor first is great too, because he/she may help you find a good psychologist.

I agree that you can make a list of things you'd like to say. Perhaps the latest stressful situations and how you felt and reacted to them?

My psychologist has helped me a lot too. The first time I saw her I just burst into tears and started talking and talking really fast. I had so many things bottled up.

After sharing your troubles with a caring, knowledgeable professional you'll feel SO relieved. That's for sure. And then you'll also start to feel better

Please check back and tell us how it went. Good luck!

 

[Chilling__Echo]

yeah, it's like they said! but i was also so afraid that i wouldn't be diagnosed and that i was just being psycho (not much of a difference i guess :wink: ) but if it's a significant problem to you and you have the symptoms, you have nothing to worry about and going your first time is nowhere near as bad as you might think it to be! you'll get there and sigh with relief and when you leave you'll be glad you went

 

[despise]

my school called my parents... i have a meeting with some teacher tomorrow with them. im scared. i dont know what their going to say to me. i was going to do this on my own..but now im going to have my parents asking me all these questions and getting all worried... man..im such a burden to them. and seeing professionals are so so expensive.. $130 for one hour?!!! i make that much in 3 weeks!!! im so stuffed

 

[despise]

sorry to be so rude..

thanks to everyone for replying!!! you guys really helped me and made me more confident to go make an appointment with the councellor today...but that was before i found out teachers were phoning my parents up...
But thanks so much!

 

[Nightshade]

Schools do that, unfortunately. I'm sure they mean well, it is just that they won't necessarily know the best approach for you. But you are doing ok.

One thing I'd consider. You could point out that having a meeting with your parents and a teacher is making you even more anxious.

I know in your situation I would be a lot worse talking to three people than I would be one - but they might think that it would be easier for you with your parents there - it is possible they are trying to be helpful only getting it wrong. Tell them that it is easier for you to deal with one person at a time and if they want to talk to your parents, they would be better to do it without you there.

You can also point out that you have already taken the step of making an appointment with the counsellor (hopefully to organise some profesional help), so you are doing something - it isn't like they have to drag you into a meeting to convince you that you have a problem or that you need to seek help. You understand this and are doing the right things.

Again, write it down if necessary.

One thing about expensive professionals. I got better value from my psychologist by doing my own research on social phobia treatment, I read some books and in particular worked from Gillian Butler's book "Overcoming social anxiety and shyness" which is a self-help guide to treating social anxiety problems with cognitive behavioural therapy. I made faster progress that way so I needed fewer sessions to get things under control (things are under control now, even though I am a long way from cured). I treated the sessions with the psychologist as more like coaching or tutoring - I would tell her about what I had done and what was particularly difficult for me and she would help me with those bits. I think this is a good system for social phobia because you can do a good part of it completely alone.

I ordered this book from Amazon and it cost probably about $60 when postage was added in. Damn good value.

My thoughts anyway. Good luck and hang in there!

 

[despise]

i think maybe the meeting is for a comfirmation that i have problems. but theres one thing...my parents have always just thought that im super shy. and whenever i tried to explain to them about anxiety problems in the past...it's always ended in tears and anger because they just couldnt understand and thought i was over reacting and lying. now that my teachers are in on this too they are starting to believe its a more serious issue.

i know im going to feel very anxious with all 3 of them there, but i also think that maybe i need to do this just so i can prove to them its not just me pretending or whatever they thought. ill be very uncomfortable, and as much as i hate being that way maybe it will show them how i really am.
i probably would have prefered doing this on my own without dragging them down with me...but im also a little glad that they're paying more attention to how inscure i am.

but they still dont understand very much. i spent an hour today trying to convince my dad that i dont get bullied at school (anymore). he doesnt get why my self esteem is this low if theres no one trying to hurt me.

thankyou for the name of that book. ill deffinalty think about getting it. as you said, it could help things move along faster and if i ever need to know something - it's in the book.

thanks for all your help and advice. all of you. i hope this meeting isnt too harsh :roll: *gulp* maybe ill post how it went??

 

[Nightshade]

Well, good luck - sounds like you have a good attitude which makes a real difference. Do tell us how you got on - after all it may convince someone else that they can ask for help too! I know when I read about things here that people have done that I think would be too awful for me, it helps to convince me that maybe they aren't so bad after all and that I could survive them.

One thing with that book - it was great at explaining why social anxiety problems usually don't just go away on their own, even though you are trying really hard. That was the best thing for me because I had been trying and confronting my fears by putting myself in stressful situations and I was getting worse and worse not better. It also explains how social phobia differs from shyness (I'm someone with social phobia who isn't shy, but I always thought that they were basically the same but they're not). It might help you explain more clearly to your Dad.