I've posted here a while ago, and had to again.
My situation hasn't changed, and has actually gotten worse. I'm in a province far away from where I grew up, with my wife, who is amazing but absolutely loves it here. I feel like Ive been a burden to my friends so I don't reach out to them. I cant take anymore time off from even the shittiest job for councelling. I'm thinking about selling m car so I could take a couple of months to unwind and see a local therapist.
My mental health has been crumbling, to the point it's having an effect on my kidneys and liver. My eyes are dark and I'm not digesting foods properly.
I've had ongoing issues with anxiety for years now, and my wife feels that I'd have it anywhere, which to an extend is true. Shes in an incredible job and I can't pull her away from it.
We've been here three years, and its killing me. My life feels torn in half. We have no family here, I've grown to hate holidays. My career is toast, and I'm struggling to find anything that grounds me, and am struggling to even work with my anxiety and anger.
We're still quite close, and my family is ok. I just had a fight with my Mom and Dad back home about my mothers lack of compassion and almost perfect ability to throw my situation back in my face with a look of dsapproval.
I honestly feel like I've lost the connection to my folks and home, my marriage is strained, I'm running out of options in the middle of a recession with a head full fo anxiety that's taking it's toll.
If it weren't for my wife, I'm not sure I'd be here anymore. I have no choice but to work these lousy temp jobs, (I made $57 dollars yesterday) and came from a lucrative field.
I'm running out of fight. This has been three years of difficulty and pain. I've had some pretty constant suicidal thoughts a while ago, and they've crept back in. I'm currently on Wellbutrin which I don't think is making things better, but I'm scared to mess with it right now....I don't think I could take it again.
Just looking for a boost!
Thanks.
My situation hasn't changed, and has actually gotten worse. I'm in a province far away from where I grew up, with my wife, who is amazing but absolutely loves it here. I feel like Ive been a burden to my friends so I don't reach out to them. I cant take anymore time off from even the shittiest job for councelling. I'm thinking about selling m car so I could take a couple of months to unwind and see a local therapist.
My mental health has been crumbling, to the point it's having an effect on my kidneys and liver. My eyes are dark and I'm not digesting foods properly.
I've had ongoing issues with anxiety for years now, and my wife feels that I'd have it anywhere, which to an extend is true. Shes in an incredible job and I can't pull her away from it.
We've been here three years, and its killing me. My life feels torn in half. We have no family here, I've grown to hate holidays. My career is toast, and I'm struggling to find anything that grounds me, and am struggling to even work with my anxiety and anger.
We're still quite close, and my family is ok. I just had a fight with my Mom and Dad back home about my mothers lack of compassion and almost perfect ability to throw my situation back in my face with a look of dsapproval.
I honestly feel like I've lost the connection to my folks and home, my marriage is strained, I'm running out of options in the middle of a recession with a head full fo anxiety that's taking it's toll.
If it weren't for my wife, I'm not sure I'd be here anymore. I have no choice but to work these lousy temp jobs, (I made $57 dollars yesterday) and came from a lucrative field.
I'm running out of fight. This has been three years of difficulty and pain. I've had some pretty constant suicidal thoughts a while ago, and they've crept back in. I'm currently on Wellbutrin which I don't think is making things better, but I'm scared to mess with it right now....I don't think I could take it again.
Just looking for a boost!
Thanks.