I understand you. I was with my boyfriend for 3 years and we officially broke up all sort of relations just this month. We had broken up some months ago, because he didn't like how i was always afraid of talking and always anxious in public. He could not take it anymore. I never changed as I had promised. Trust me on this honey, if you don't get it together by the bootstraps, you will lose your boyfriend. In this world what a man really wants is a woman who can make him happy. I gave him lots of stress, lots of ackward situations, and finally he realized, I am not the one for him. I cried I had a terrible break down and screamed in my pillows for a couple of days. But when I'd talk to him on AIM he'd tell me, if you don't stop this conversation now, I will never talk to you again. He deserved better anway, he's a college educated, productive hardworking boy. He is very outgoing and I was the opposite. A strong man needs a woman who is not pulling him down but is pushing him up. I understand. It hurts me, but I will not get another boyfriend until I accomplish the things that I should have, such as being social and having a job and a car, things that he thought I should have. I was also never social around his family or friends, it will take a toll trust me. If you don't straighten up it's going to end. That's the cold hard truth.
Find tons of problems, you need things to structure your life, to hold it together. Problems make people strong. You just need ones with various people. You only find the value of alliances through having enemies, trust me. We social phobia people are very lacking in true problems, that is why we are so stuck in the ones that we imagine inside our heads. we fear problems that only exist in our imaginations. We fear things that have not taken place, that only we anticipate. Many times I've been nutty, but once I found somebody who disliked me for no reason, I was all of a sudden courageous enough to find an alliance and bond over the enemy. It's like all of a sudden there was a balance, when I was suddenly running away from a true problem and not an illusion.
I have had only a couple of counselling sessions and she tells me that i have to go to my doctor to get a referral to a psychiatrist because she doesnt deal with SA. Does this get any better with talking to the right person??
