new neighbours

[littledifferent]

hey all recently i have had new neighbours move in and they are always home when im home, now its a bit hard living with some one so close hearing there foot steps (as they live above me) and not be friends, its a 2 story apartment.


so after 3 months of waiting i finally had the nerve and i gave the girl who answered the door some nice chocolate.

5 days later i went back up there and the boyfriend answered the door and he didnt look happy (maybe because of the chocolate) so i just asked for a smoke and left my anxiety was high at this time.

than 2 days later i thought i give them a little letter telling them a little about me that i had a family/son that i havnt seen in 4 years and i suffer from social phobia,
and this is the reason that im always home alone all the time (as i also work from home) and not to make them think im a werido stalking them or what ever.

i dont think they like me and i think they just think im a werido even more now.
im not going to say anything to them anymore now until one of them says hi to me first now.

im just looking for to be friends thats all. i dont have any friends here as ive moved.
im 32 yrs old male and they are around same age.
do you think what i did was wrong?

any help would be great. thank you

 

[DeadmanWalking]

I don't see anything wrong with what you did. But, remember, sometimes you don't have to do anything for someone to not like you, so don't take it personally if they don't. If they do like you, then it might do you some good to talk to them and gain some friends. If not, then it's no big deal and nothing truly important to think about.

 

[littledifferent]

ok thanks i know she likes me but he doesnt so im just going to stay out of there life.

 

[mikebird]

My best neighbours are cats. They all greet me in the car park

The only thing that matters to me is how the neighbours feel when I enjoy loud music. Nobody complains. Therefore I'm still urged to keep the noise down, because I don't know they'd feel. Can't know. Feedback is important

I met 4 people I know on Sunday. That's rare

I'm the oldest one in the block. Been here since 2001. All others up & leave within a week or a few months and the apartments never get left empty for a day. I don't speak to anyone.

I'm sandwiched in the 1st floor of 3. I hear a lot of noises above, as if extremely heavy equipment fall on the floor throughout the day. I suffered ridiculous water damage per each occupant from washing machines, etc

 

[LoyalXenite]

It may not be anything you have or havent done.
Personally i dont want to socialise with any neighbours at all, i'll give a polite hello or nod in reply but i dont want any socializing with them, no reflection on them, i just dont want any kind of friendship or relationship with them.

 

[jaim38]

I don't think you did anything wrong. You went out of your way to welcome them, even stepping out of your comfort zone. I can relate. When I lived in a downstairs apartment with my brother, it was awkward because I could hear my upstairs neighbors a lot. We could hear their footsteps, so we know where they are. There were awkward moments where both me and my upstairs neighbors were in the kitchen cooking at the same time...My anxiety went up the roof. Even when they go to the restroom, I could hear them. The woman must have thought we were trying to listen in on her whenever she goes to the bathroom so she freaked out and told her husband, who then "stand guard" and started listening in on us. My brother and I were very quiet, maybe too too quiet for them to handle. Eventually, they moved out and on that day, I heard some neighbors called the woman a b***h. They were yelling back and forth for some time.

Anyways, long story short, I can't stand living in apartments. You might want to look into renting a room in a house.

 

[littledifferent]

I don't think you did anything wrong. You went out of your way to welcome them, even stepping out of your comfort zone. I can relate. When I lived in a downstairs apartment with my brother, it was awkward because I could hear my upstairs neighbors a lot. We could hear their footsteps, so we know where they are. There were awkward moments where both me and my upstairs neighbors were in the kitchen cooking at the same time...My anxiety went up the roof. Even when they go to the restroom, I could hear them. The woman must have thought we were trying to listen in on her whenever she goes to the bathroom so she freaked out and told her husband, who then "stand guard" and started listening in on us. My brother and I were very quiet, maybe too too quiet for them to handle. Eventually, they moved out and on that day, I heard some neighbors called the woman a b***h. They were yelling back and forth for some time.

Anyways, long story short, I can't stand living in apartments. You might want to look into renting a room in a house.

lol sounds exactly the same here.

 

[hidwell]

I can not imagine living in an apartment, people in general are just so noisy and inconsiderate. I think I would prefer to live in a cave than an apartment.

 

[conscious_mindz]

This situation is similar to mine, i live underneath someone in a new build apartment which is not a concerete solid construction, its made out of a wooden timber frame, i moved in when they were first built, & as i have SA ive wanted to just keep myself to myself, but the first guy that lived above me used to be a drunkard & used his living room as a gym, so he was constantly dropping weights on the floor & banging around sometimes as late as 3am on a week night.

I managed to go & see him & mention the issues & he settled down slightly but i could still hear him stomping around, he since moved out & now another inconsiderate neighbours moved in above me, hes always got his home cinema subwoofer on day & night & the guy is a heavy stomper & he never seems to just sit still, what annoys me is i walk lightly & i don't bother anyone, if i want loud music or watch a movie loud i put my headphones on, now ive been to see this other guy above me about the noise but i feel like telling him "look i suffer with social anxiety & i already have a lot on my plate do you realise how stressful this is for me having to come & complain to you as i just want to be left alone.

I personally don't want any type or relationship with my neighbours il be polite & say hi but that's all i want, BUT i cant just stay like that as i'm always having to go upstairs & see them about NOISE! so then the situation gets awkward especially then when you see them in the communal hallways all the time its just awkward.... i hate living in apartments as you simply cannot rely on having considerate neighbours & everyone knows eachothers business & using communal hallways & communal bike sheds, communal rubbish store etc..

Its just too many people for me & everything is shared, i just want to be left alone & i don't want to get caught up in these neighbour problems with the people living above me but unfortunatley that's the life of apartment living :-(

 

[daisydaydreamz]

Hi.

I can't help wondering if the fact that you are a male who lives alone, and these neighbours are a couple, your kind gift of chocolate might be misconstrued by the guy as you coming on to his girlfriend? I know you were only trying to be friendly and neighbourly, but this could be why they seem a bit hostile. Also waiting 3 months before approaching could in their eyes back up this theory.

I wouldn't take it personally if I were you. If you bump into them just say hi, but don't go out of your way again to try and forge a friendship.

Try not to think about them, or worry whether or not they like you. Just live your own life and be proud of being the kind and thoughtful person you are.