No Ambition In Life

[HopelessStranger]

Ok. I'm so crazy. I don't want to do anything at all. Just video games and movies all day living with my parents at 19 years of age. Heck I don't even know how to drive cause I find no use in that. I've lost the fire in life. I'm not rich so I can't go far in life without ambition. My parents are fine but they fight sometimes but only verbally when my dad's drunk. My dad totally destroyed me in my teenager years. He comes home late at night drunk and then my mom and dad will fight all night and my mom's crying just killed me. I would go to school super depressed and quiet, that totally destroyed me. I adored my dad when I was kid when he didn't drink now I don't even talk to him. Heck I don't even talk to my mom anymore. We only discuss important things and it usually ends in like 10 seconds. My cousins and everyone have gowned up so much and I'm happy for them but I'm stuck. I'm not as depressed as before though. I want to die but can't do it. It would be such a waste and it would cause so much sadness to my family and relatives. I just want to perfect to everyone. I use to try so hard and no that I've learned how much life suck I've just given up on everything. Just waiting for something to happen. Also I'm addicted to love. That may sound lame but it destroys me cause I can't have the person I want which one the major reason why I won't kill myself. My personal goal in life now is just to live long enough to tell my feelings to her someday if I can. Life is killing me. The world is so mean and boring. I just wanna save somebody and live with them forever in peace. I need a long vacation alone and time to think about everything.
Thanks for reading the lame story of my life.

 

[Anomaly]

I lack what's known as ambition as well. Ambition tends to be the euphemism in style used to describe one that has attained a relative amount of power, prestige, or property. Video gaming is not a value held highly in any culture that I know of, but getting rich -- I mean, being "successful" is.

Something I'd like to accomplish is a relative amount of independence in which a substantial amount of people would leave me the hell alone. That tends to be viewed in a negative fashion, but trusting society to set an objective meter for value is foolish.

 

[Agon]

Nah, you're not crazy. I feel the same way. XD When my parents ask me about what I want to be when I grow up, I can't say anything. It feels like I'm just stuck in a rut. I literally have no goals or dreams for the future.

Buuut I think it's okay to not know what we want in life sometimes. I mean, I have other things in mind right now, such as how to overcome this stupid disorder. Which is a goal already in itself. :0

The ambition'll come, I'm sure of it. Good luck.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

It's not lack of ambition that I lack, it's faith in my own abilities. Otherwise, I would be very ambituous.

 

[Feathers]

It's not lack of ambition that I lack, it's faith in my own abilities. Otherwise, I would be very ambituous.

WOW, said well. Same here. Only I *AM* very ambitious, and then ah the inner conflicts!

 

[Feathers]

HStranger,
It sucks when parents quarrel. It feels impossible to please'em sometimes.

Maybe just try to come to terms you can't please all people all the time, and just focus on some of the things you might like, like some independence or indeed a vacation?

I just wanna save somebody and live with them forever in peace. I need a long vacation alone and time to think about everything.

Sounds like you either need a friend you can stay with, or a relative, or some other cool and safe place you could stay cheap/for free.. and/or long-term goal live on your own? (=money+flat/house? Ideally regular income from good, meaningful things or something that might be interesting/fun, or at least tolerable?)

Or do you want to live with the person of your dreams with your parents?

Peace does sound great, yeah!!

I wish I focused on finding my own place at 19 too, I was full of other, 'loftier' goals (I still am, sometimes.. /sigh/)

 

[Predacon]

It's not lack of ambition that I lack, it's faith in my own abilities. Otherwise, I would be very ambituous.

That describes me exactly.

 

[Aussie_Lad]

There are always goals that you should go after in life, but don't go down the path that says that your goal has to be the same as everyone elses. A lot of people go after careers, they want the promotions as quickly as possible and want the money and recognition that comes with that. However that does not interest me in the slightest. From this perspective you would say that I have no ambition, but that is far from the truth. I would like to move out of the city, doing anything that will pay the bills for a while, and then make moves to re-invent myself into whatever takes my fancy at the time.

As for love, sometimes the biggest strength is being able to let go, and this is important. There are many instances where you may not be able to get or keep the target of your affection. Be prepared to let go, and if you are meant to be together then it will happen in a way that you are least expecting in the future, otherwise it will blind you to other opportunities that come your way. I sincerly hope that this isn't the only thing stopping you killing yourself, as it must be like living a life sentence in prison until you acheive what you want from to say.

 

[Enialis227]

-Deleted by Enialis227-

 

[krs2snow]

I just wanna save somebody and live with them forever in peace. I need a long vacation alone and time to think about everything.
Thanks for reading the lame story of my life.

Sometimes, we need to save ourselves before we save somebody else. Your life is important. You are important. There is nothing lame about your story. Start with yourself. Take care of yourself. Get help for yourself. Make that your goal. "I'm gonna get help and save me!" Talk to a counselor, a teacher, a parent, a priest, a friend, a mentor, someone. Start with saving you.

 

[awkwardamanda]

Life is killing me.

Those exact words crossed my mind earlier today.:: I hear you. I have no ambitions either. I just sit in my room and I rot. I don't leave the house much if I don't have to. I work nearly full time at a part time job in a store and it's exhausting. I'm too unmotivated to find a new job even though I graduated university last year. I'm dreading the whole job searching process so much that I end up just avoiding the situation altogether. I can't even motivate myself to send a simple text message to a friend just to see what's up. I mean to and then I put it off and don't bother. I don't have the time or energy to clean my room. It's a horribly daunting task because I'm pretty much a hoarder. I can't even get a good night's sleep. I need a new bed and I can't get one until I clean the damn place up. The only sort-of goals I have in life are just to be financially stable and independent. I just want to find a job I don't mind and save a lot of money so that if I ever am jobless I'll be okay for a while because I know damn well I'd be depressed and too unmotivated to go on a job hunting spree and find something else in any reasonable amount of time. I just want to get my life somewhat in order. But I don't even feel close. It's depressing to think about. Man, life sucks.::