No matter where I go, I don't fit in

Luka

Luka

Well-known member
Yup, you guessed it. I'm that weird kid that doesn't fit in anywhere. Not even on here. At work I just feel like I don't fit in, everyone there seems so normal and can communicate like normal people but I struggle so much with it. I try very hard to be friendly but I feel stuck inside my shell. It's not all bad though, I have made friends at work. It's just I can tell I'm different to everyone else - and not in a good way! I feel like I'm drowning sometimes just having to communicate with people, it probably doesn't help that I'm introverted so I find it emotionally draining. But I'm always putting on a front but deep inside it's a struggle. I seriously don't know how I can keep going like this until I go crazy. I've barely begun adulthood; just turned 18. Any advice guys? I also am very emotionless lately, nothing truly makes me happy - it probably sounds like depression but I am happy sometimes it's just I don't find anythig rewarding like I used to. P.s. sorry about the ramble :(
 
Argentum

Argentum

Well-known member
I don't fit in anywhere, either, except I've made no friends for myself. Just practicing basic social skills like knowing what kind of language could make someone feel inferior if I was helping them with schoolwork or how to escalate a conversation to more personal topics made me more comfortable. It was about having a degree of control over interactions instead of always wondering where things were going.

Still too weird for people, though. The only advantage is my offbeat approach to problems, I suppose. A lot of magazines that accept submissions have "hard sell" lists of ideas they see too much of or consider too cliche for science fiction. I've never used a single one of them. Not that it keeps me warm at night when people writing "it was a dream all along!" fiction are the ones with loving friends, families, and significant others.
 
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Sacrament

Sacrament

Well-known member
Can you tell that you're different to everyone else, or you simply feel like you're different to everyone else? I mean, considering how you've made friends at work, that means you've met people who have quite a few things in common with you. Consider the possibility that your self-observations are distorted, and that you're more normal than you think, except hidden in a shell of false advertisement provided by your own internal dialogue.

Remember that you are what you make of yourself. If you tell yourself that you're weird, unrelatable, awkward, different than others (in a bad way - everyone's different from everyone else), then that's what you become. But if your own internal dialogue is twisted around, your programming changes with it, and you become more relaxed, mindful and happy as well.
 
akala

akala

Well-known member
I used to feel like this. I have had a lot of unique experiences in my life that makes me a little different from people around me. But I always use what I have different, which may be positive, to interact with others. So I may not be able to hold a conversation with someone like a normal person, or even be relatable, but i've learned it's just easier to be yourself and not try to change for anything. I'm usually very understanding and attentive, and find this helps when interacting with other people. I don't have much of a personality when I'm around people I don't get.
 
Diend

Diend

Well-known member
i came out of lonliness by finding a best friend. i don't enjoy shallow relationships with multiple people. my depression truly lifted when i was able to hang out and bond with one other person who equally didn't have social obligations. i think i can handle small group 5/6 person dynamics if i have at least 3 years of interaction with them but i felt the most happy and fulfilled when i hung out daily with one person who also didn't have anyone else.
 
PhillipJFry

PhillipJFry

Well-known member
I think you're over analyzing your situation.

I promise you, there is on one keeping track of how many friends you have, or how well you fit in with others. Nobody is grading you on your conversation skills, or measuring how different you are from others. So it might be no big Ally McDeal to anyone but you.

Honestly, I think a lot of people feel like you, like they don't belong anywhere and that's okay. Nobody chooses to be born, it just happens, and we all have to deal with life the best we can and hopefully be happy with it when we die. Luckily you're still a kid like me, so there's plenty of time to find a place in the Earth where you fit in. I wish the best for you.
 
PhillipJFry

PhillipJFry

Well-known member
Sacrament said:
Can you tell that you're different to everyone else, or you simply feel like you're different to everyone else? I mean, considering how you've made friends at work, that means you've met people who have quite a few things in common with you. Consider the possibility that your self-observations are distorted, and that you're more normal than you think, except hidden in a shell of false advertisement provided by your own internal dialogue.

Remember that you are what you make of yourself. If you tell yourself that you're weird, unrelatable, awkward, different than others (in a bad way - everyone's different from everyone else), then that's what you become. But if your own internal dialogue is twisted around, your programming changes with it, and you become more relaxed, mindful and happy as well.
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This is good advice.
 
D

Deco

Well-known member
Yeah, many times we don't realize the image we have of ourselves can affect how
people see us.
You still have a lot of time to improve and many people to meet. My best friends were people I only got to know better in my 20s.
 
AlienGeranium

AlienGeranium

Well-known member
I think you'll find as you get older that fitting in isn't as important, or that it doesn't have to be. Finding a place you fit in or "belong" is something some people do search for of course, some find it in groups that share their interests like sports or crafts or a particular tv show, others in their values through groups like elks club or churches, or through their work, or through where they live (like a small town vs. big city). There are just so many different places to fit into the world, you just have to find what matters to you and then look for groups or communities that have the same feelings.

That being said, many people are more than happy not having that place or group where they feel they "fit in." We grow up and life gets hectic. You have all these responsibilities, and your time becomes more limited. Get married, have kids, own a house, a car - whatever. At that point having a few friends to share your free time with and do the things you like is enough, the need to fit in takes a back seat. As long as you're happy with yourself, and how you're living your life, nothing else really matters.
 
AtTheGates

AtTheGates

Banned
I think to some extent, people liking you depends on whether or not OTHER people like you...you can be a degenerate sack of shit but if a few other people are like "hey that guy's alright" and will vouch for you like that then you'll have more of a chance of fitting in somewhere.

btw im not advising anyone to be a degenerate sack of shit...im just saying, half the battle is finding people to vouch for you in social settings...people that will put in the good word for you.
 
Argentum

Argentum

Well-known member
AtTheGates said:
I think to some extent, people liking you depends on whether or not OTHER people like you...you can be a degenerate sack of shit but if a few other people are like "hey that guy's alright" and will vouch for you like that then you'll have more of a chance of fitting in somewhere.

btw im not advising anyone to be a degenerate sack of shit...im just saying, half the battle is finding people to vouch for you in social settings...people that will put in the good word for you.
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Seen it, and laughed when one of them literally broke into another's property.
 
B

BLAHBLAHBLAH

Member
You are not alone.

I always feel unaccepted. The deal is everyone knows what society judgements are and it eats away at people.. You get the feeling that when your fat that everyone around you is judging you for being unworthy. Or if your ugly or awkward or have something that your insecure about. My sister is the opposite she molds herself in this cookie cutter way that society accepts and maybe she enjoys it but to me i feel disgusted. I get disgusted that people try to manipulate themselves and you so that they can put on a play for society.

Its tiring constantly reading people and imagining what thoughts might be going inside thier head when you talk to them like your some kind of alien.
 
AtTheGates

AtTheGates

Banned
Sial Axetder said:
Be weird. Go ahead. **** all else who tells you or thinks you are not normal. It's totally okay to not be like anyone else!
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I think being weird only works if you're small and/or unintimidating.....which is why girls can pull it off so well....girls can make being weird look funny or cute...guys always just end up looking like potential serial killers...iv decided being weird or different doesnt really work for me..people just get creeped out.
 
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PugofCrydee

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
Sacrament said:
Can you tell that you're different to everyone else, or you simply feel like you're different to everyone else? I mean, considering how you've made friends at work, that means you've met people who have quite a few things in common with you. Consider the possibility that your self-observations are distorted, and that you're more normal than you think, except hidden in a shell of false advertisement provided by your own internal dialogue.

Remember that you are what you make of yourself. If you tell yourself that you're weird, unrelatable, awkward, different than others (in a bad way - everyone's different from everyone else), then that's what you become. But if your own internal dialogue is twisted around, your programming changes with it, and you become more relaxed, mindful and happy as well.
Click to expand...

People are different the world over. Only the degree to which we are different varies.
 
Metal_isthe_Answer

Metal_isthe_Answer

Well-known member
Luka said:
I also am very emotionless lately, nothing truly makes me happy - it probably sounds like depression but I am happy sometimes it's just I don't find anythig rewarding like I used to. P.s. sorry about the ramble :(
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This part really stood out to me and I wanted to point something out. Depression is not always being depressed, you can suffer from depression and still have moments of happiness. The post in general sounds to me like you may be suffering from an "advanced medium" range of depression.
I think I know the feeling you are describing, you wake up every day and have to force yourself to pay attention or complete something, everything just seems to drag on way too long, and every day feels exactly the same, is that about right?
 
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