This site is great, but I think the biggest problem someone like me would have is I am too afraid to start a convo with someone and I don't even have the desire to talk to people that I don't know very well or at all. I feel like I don't care about people. I don't want to show interest in other people. I'm starting to wonder if I'm a bad person. I've never even really thought about how much I don't want to have anything to do with people until now.
I know exactly what you mean. I feel like this often, although not so much now at all as before. But we're talking not even a year ago I had this attitude. I still feel it sometimes now.
What really worked for me was what I mentioned earlier in the thread, basically learning good listening and conversation techniques, then turning it into a game. The best part is you should NOT have a canned statement or idea in your head for anything to say to new people. You basically come into any conversation unprepared aside from your listening skills (I won't go into that because it'd take me forever)
Anyway, about the game... I wanted to see how well I could connect or get a very positive reaction from other people based on the skills I had learned. Mostly this is new people although I still practiced on friends. I preferred new people because it was a real test to see how connected I could get a stranger to me, or if I could actually even make them an acquaintance/contact/friend. It also was good because new people are more likely you probably might not see again, so if it didn't work then thankfully they'd be gone forever. Even if I DID succeed, I might never see them again. Also good, because nothing's lost or gained, just conversation experience and another chance to play the game.
Anyways, back on track. When this becomes a game, you don't really have to care. You're gaming. This is a test of your own skill, not whether or not you care about the boring cat of a woman you're talking to.
What happens is you get a lot more people smiling and paying attention to you and suddenly you are valuable to them. That starts reversing the shy/don't care/can't speak vicious circle most of us are in. The more excited you get about winning your own game, the more people you want to meet, the more you want to talk, and the more you want to keep playing the game.
Now that I think about it, this is all about pleasuring you, not them. They never have to know that what you're doing is just playing a game and keeping score of yourself. It's win-win. They get to talk, you get to practice.
And eventually you might start caring about other people's stuff, at least a little, because you're making friends, you're feeling the emotional highs, you're being active with people, etc. The more fun and positivity you are receiving over time, the more you can authentically give back.
