ocd rant of sorts

[Nahelon]

I have had fairly severe ocd since I was 14/ 15 years old and this along with other factors in my life has left me in a state of utter misery of late. My current situation where I am stuck in a small apartment with hardly any money and no one to relate to has made me intensely depressed and angry at the world. In a couple of months I will probably be starting a music course (I am actually a very good guitarist) but I have completely lost sight of where I want to go with my music and I have no idea how to succeed. I feel like in order to do this course I will also need a job so that I will have enough money to concentrate on my study.
Yet I am not sure that with my ocd I will be able to juggle all this.
Any thoughts......

 

[Feathers]

Hey Nahelon & Welcome!

I can sympathize... That kind of situation would probably make anyone depressed.. It can be difficult, there are still people out there who are making it happen...
What kind of OCD do you have? Have you had any treatment/therapy? There are very different jobs out there, you know... Have you looked into any yet? Could you teach guitar maybe? Or join a band that does gigs?

CBT can be very good against depression, daily walks too, and perhaps tweaking nutrition.. There are books to help understand general CBT, like 'The Feeling Good Handbook', and special ones for OCD. Maybe your library has any?

The music biz has been in trouble for a while, some good bands and artists still have concerts and sell songs...
Some musicians also have 'good enough jobs' or 'great enough careers' to 'subsidize their art' and do music as a passion..

Maybe you could join or start an online band? What kind of music do you play?