Ok, well for starters, I have known I've had OCD for 3 years now.
I thought I had been through pretty much everything that could possibly scare me with it. It started out with a huge breakdown about my health, thinking that I would suddenly die of a heart attack or a stroke, or that I would just suddenly stop breathing (this was when I was 16... I know, ridiculous). After being in and out of doctors offices and even the ER a couple times, having insane amounts of tests done just for re-assurance, my mind eventually moved onto harm OCD. That originally lasted about a month, which then moved onto OCD about my sexuality. This was a big one for me, as it's still kinda there to this day, but I'm so used to it by now that I can kind of just shake it off.
I've had lots of abnormal ones here and there too, like (this is a REALLY bizarre one, so bear with me) fearing that I would all of the sudden have the urge to toss my future plans aside and become a priest, or fearing that I would start thinking outloud and not be able to control what I say when I'm speaking to people.
Whatever the case, it seems like most of my OCD fears have always been based around the fact that I'm scared of losing control. Well, the most recent OCD fear that's really been affecting me is my OCD telling me that I'm going to lose my mind. It's been making me have alot of little panic attacks here and there. I'll just be minding my business, and my OCD will tell me that I'm phasing out of reality, and that I'm going to forget who I really am. It's trying to tell me that I'm going to forget about everything I love in life, forget about my past, forget about who I am, etc.
It seems really stupid, but for some reason it's been freaking me out. Sometimes it will feel so real, and although I should be used to calming myself down by now, this just feels different from other OCD fears I've had, in that I can't really find any thoughts to help balance it out. I feel like by thinking these thoughts, I'm really going to turn crazy. And I don't understand it, because it's not like I'm doing any serious drugs that would make me feel this way or anything, in fact I've never done (unprescribed) drugs in my life.
I recently started taking medication again (I had stopped for awhile because for about a year my OCD wasn't as severe), and I'm going back to therapy next week, but in the meantime, I was just wondering if anyone else had ever been through something similar to this.
I thought I had been through pretty much everything that could possibly scare me with it. It started out with a huge breakdown about my health, thinking that I would suddenly die of a heart attack or a stroke, or that I would just suddenly stop breathing (this was when I was 16... I know, ridiculous). After being in and out of doctors offices and even the ER a couple times, having insane amounts of tests done just for re-assurance, my mind eventually moved onto harm OCD. That originally lasted about a month, which then moved onto OCD about my sexuality. This was a big one for me, as it's still kinda there to this day, but I'm so used to it by now that I can kind of just shake it off.
I've had lots of abnormal ones here and there too, like (this is a REALLY bizarre one, so bear with me) fearing that I would all of the sudden have the urge to toss my future plans aside and become a priest, or fearing that I would start thinking outloud and not be able to control what I say when I'm speaking to people.
Whatever the case, it seems like most of my OCD fears have always been based around the fact that I'm scared of losing control. Well, the most recent OCD fear that's really been affecting me is my OCD telling me that I'm going to lose my mind. It's been making me have alot of little panic attacks here and there. I'll just be minding my business, and my OCD will tell me that I'm phasing out of reality, and that I'm going to forget who I really am. It's trying to tell me that I'm going to forget about everything I love in life, forget about my past, forget about who I am, etc.
It seems really stupid, but for some reason it's been freaking me out. Sometimes it will feel so real, and although I should be used to calming myself down by now, this just feels different from other OCD fears I've had, in that I can't really find any thoughts to help balance it out. I feel like by thinking these thoughts, I'm really going to turn crazy. And I don't understand it, because it's not like I'm doing any serious drugs that would make me feel this way or anything, in fact I've never done (unprescribed) drugs in my life.
I recently started taking medication again (I had stopped for awhile because for about a year my OCD wasn't as severe), and I'm going back to therapy next week, but in the meantime, I was just wondering if anyone else had ever been through something similar to this.
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