Opinions on long distance relationships?

[Luka]

I'm not sure if this has been asked before but I'm curious what you all think about them.

Personally, I am currently in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for 5 months now but I've known him since I was young so I didn't meet him online or anything. We live a couple hours away so it's hard to see him all the time but in a way I like it this way. Because of my anxiety I do find it quite hard to be intimate but seeing him in small 'doses' makes me want to be intimate with him if that makes sense. And when I do see him it's always special because I miss him that much. Anyway, sorry for the rambling I'm just really curious what you all think about long distance relationships - good or bad??

 

[FountainandFairfax]

If you've got two decent, devoted, people, it's fine.

It's not as nice as having them with you all the time, but like you say, the distance can make some things better in certain ways. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

I wish you the best, but you seem to be handling it well.

 

[Luka]

If you've got two decent, devoted, people, it's fine.

I definitely agree with you there.

It's not as nice as having them with you all the time, but like you say, the distance can make some things better in certain ways. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

I wish you the best, but you seem to be handling it well.

Don't get me wrong there's been a lot of hard times too (just like any relationship) but when it's good it's really good. And thank you

 

[Lils]

My boyfriend and I have been in a LDR for 8 months. We lived in the same town when we met and started dating, but then I had to move a couple hours drive away. We see each other every other week...
At the beginning it was sort of okay since we were both very busy with work, but it's getting harder and harder as the months go by. I'm at the end of my rope here. I miss him terribly. We don't call each other very often because we don't like it but we text all day long. In a way though, the LDR has made our relationship stronger since we communicate mainly by texts and it's easier for me to write some stuff than to speak it, and the LDR has forced us to communicate more.

 

[FountainandFairfax]

Don't get me wrong there's been a lot of hard times too...

I hear you, Luka.

To be honest, I'm not exactly sure what made me toss that "you seem to be doing well..." part in there. I think the sound of it just dovetailed nicely with my well wishes or something, or maybe it was because, comparatively, I would sound much worse than you do. ha ha

When I re-read your post it was obvious that you're in a very delicate place. I'm sure it goes from ordeal to reprieve and-back all the time.

If my post seemed to miss the mark, I apologize.

 

[kilojoule]

I've done long distance twice (because of moving abroad, neither started long distance)and neither time did it work well...or even end amicably. Both relationships would probably have ended regardless because we were too young but the distance made every bad thing a million times worse.

If a couple can make it in a long distance relationship...they can probably make it through anything.

 

[Luka]

My boyfriend and I have been in a LDR for 8 months. We lived in the same town when we met and started dating, but then I had to move a couple hours drive away. We see each other every other week...
At the beginning it was sort of okay since we were both very busy with work, but it's getting harder and harder as the months go by. I'm at the end of my rope here. I miss him terribly. We don't call each other very often because we don't like it but we text all day long. In a way though, the LDR has made our relationship stronger since we communicate mainly by texts and it's easier for me to write some stuff than to speak it, and the LDR has forced us to communicate more.

I understand why it must be so difficult for you. I, too miss my boyfriend all the time and although it's hard, it's nice when we reassure each other that we miss each other, etc. I agree in terms of communication, it's really easy to say what you feel when it's not face-to-face. I hope everything goes well for you and him.

 

[Luka]

I hear you, Luka.

To be honest, I'm not exactly sure what made me toss that "you seem to be doing well..." part in there. I think the sound of it just dovetailed nicely with my well wishes or something, or maybe it was because, comparatively, I would sound much worse than you do. ha ha

When I re-read your post it was obvious that you're in a very delicate place. I'm sure it goes from ordeal to reprieve and-back all the time.

If my post seemed to miss the mark, I apologize.

I understand what you mean, there's no need to apologize.

 

[Luka]

I've done long distance twice (because of moving abroad, neither started long distance)and neither time did it work well...or even end amicably. Both relationships would probably have ended regardless because we were too young but the distance made every bad thing a million times worse. If a couple can make it in a long distance relationship...they can probably make it through anything.

They are very difficult indeed, I think what makes an LDR work is communication mainly. Without it, it's easy to feel insecure and I'm sure a lot of LDR's fall through because of it. When you say a couple in an LDR can go through anything, I see what you mean there as it is probably one of the hardest things to go through without any physical contact.

 

[Nanita]

I think they are wonderful

 

[Luka]

I think they are wonderful

Yay, me too.

 

[mismeek]

I know how you feel lady, my guy is stationed in japan for the next 3 years. I'm back in the states finishing school. I really like it because like you.. i get anxious spending large amounts of time with him and have sex. I'm also not a very clingy person so I'm totally okay with talking to him every few days. Since i'm planning on moving out there at some point i realize that i'll have to explain myself to him. One of my friends just suggest that people like us should just have a "me" room where you can go when you dont want to be bothered. I thought that sounded like a really good idea! So i may try that.

I think that LDR are only for a certain kind of person. Us! lol

 

[FountainandFairfax]

I know how you feel lady, my guy is stationed in japan for the next 3 years. I'm back in the states finishing school. I really like it because like you.. i get anxious spending large amounts of time with him and have sex. I'm also not a very clingy person so I'm totally okay with talking to him every few days. Since i'm planning on moving out there at some point i realize that i'll have to explain myself to him. One of my friends just suggest that people like us should just have a "me" room where you can go when you dont want to be bothered. I thought that sounded like a really good idea! So i may try that.

I think that LDR are only for a certain kind of person. Us! lol

A slight hijack, but I always thought having a sensory deprivation tank would be blissful.

 

[Hellhound]

It can be a little hard to deal with sometimes, because having your loved one far hurts. But if things work out, the wait is totally worth it in the end.

 

[Odo]

I also think they are wonderful.

As someone said, there is more communication involved and if you're not too picky about the 'rules' you can end up being a lot more open and honest about things than you would need to be irl.

But it's not so good if you don't feel like it's leading to something more irl-- it can't just go on and on like that.

Or maybe it can... it depends on the people involved!

 

[Luka]

I don't really have an opinion. It sounds uh. Painful.

It can be, but not always!

 

[DepravedFurball]

I would proffer that there are some things in an LDR that you can't find in a 'normal' relationship... such as great *communication*.

Seriously, it's a lot more difficult to put your thoughts and feelings into words when a partner is standing right there in front of you rather than five-hundred miles away. And you learn to verbalize your concerns, problems, and hopes a lot better as well...

And that right there is why I enjoy LDRs. You can take your time in getting to know your partner's soul without the pressure, anxiety, and angst hijacking your mind. Slow build-ups make for a longer-lasting union... not to mention really, *really* good sex when and if you do meet up. XD

Granted, the pain of longing can and will hit each half equally, and for a lot of people, that can prove to be exceptionally difficult to deal with. Yet, no matter how hard it is at times, you can still draw a large amount of courage, strength, and self-confidence from your lover, regardless of the distance between... and that's probably something each of of could use a little more of.

^^

 

[Luka]

I would proffer that there are some things in an LDR that you can't find in a 'normal' relationship... such as great *communication*.

Seriously, it's a lot more difficult to put your thoughts and feelings into words when a partner is standing right there in front of you rather than five-hundred miles away. And you learn to verbalize your concerns, problems, and hopes a lot better as well...

And that right there is why I enjoy LDRs. You can take your time in getting to know your partner's soul without the pressure, anxiety, and angst hijacking your mind. Slow build-ups make for a longer-lasting union... not to mention really, *really* good sex when and if you do meet up. XD

Granted, the pain of longing can and will hit each half equally, and for a lot of people, that can prove to be exceptionally difficult to deal with. Yet, no matter how hard it is at times, you can still draw a large amount of courage, strength, and self-confidence from your lover, regardless of the distance between... and that's probably something each of of could use a little more of.

^^

I agree completely.

 

[Section_31]

it can absolutely work.

Will it by any means be simple? oh dear god no.

Mine is complicated. All last year my babe was living 3 hours away. Now shes living here, but its still a very slow relationship because of mutual complicated drama and life situations. But we want to be together. We text every day, see eachother when we can. It sucks a lot of the time. but when were together that moment to me is worth it.

You'll get told a lot that it wont work for any number of reasons. Ppl may even say your crazy and try to talk you out of it. You need to listen to whats in your heart. And if it feels worth it I say stick with it. Nothing worth doing was ever easy.

 

[izzle]

I'm not sure if this has been asked before but I'm curious what you all think about them.

Personally, I am currently in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for 5 months now but I've known him since I was young so I didn't meet him online or anything. We live a couple hours away so it's hard to see him all the time but in a way I like it this way. Because of my anxiety I do find it quite hard to be intimate but seeing him in small 'doses' makes me want to be intimate with him if that makes sense. And when I do see him it's always special because I miss him that much. Anyway, sorry for the rambling I'm just really curious what you all think about long distance relationships - good or bad??

interesting question! ive been in a LDR for 5 years now. Luckily we started off LDR so we didnt have any intimacy with each other to miss. That was a majorrrr plus point - if we started off close and thenn had to move away, that wdv been HARD. but we started off LDR and kept going. Like one of the above posts say, the 2 people have to be devoted. Of course the other partner isnt there in real, but that dznt mean less communication. I found it means a different type of communication. Sure, my partner and i werent able to make out on every happy occasion, nor wer we able to hug when we were sad, but being there for somebody even from 4k miles away really helps. I only ever saw my partner once a year for a few weeks, if that. But we grew closer online. I dint know if he put the toilet seat down nor did he know how long i take to get ready, but we knew enough essentials to know we'll be good tgether 5 years and counting.....!

different people have different priorities too. I know many girls who say they could never decide if they want to continue with a guy or not unless theyve been on holidays with him, been under stress etc cuz each situation is a test. in which case, she wdnt be cut of out for an LDR. buttttt those things werent imp for me really!

PS: of course the basic essentials count: being able to trust one another, respect each others feelings (alot of msgs can give off the wrong vibe when typed out as opposed to written!) etc

LDRs dont come easy, but they do come.