Opinions wanted

[Chrisfishes]

Hi there,

I am new this site and would some opinions. I am 27 Male, I grew up in canada but am living ni spain at the moment. In september last year I went to see my local doc after months of chaos in my head trying to figure it all out. He told me i was dpressed and gave me effexor. After a couple of weeks he gave me xanax and I felt for the first time in years like my head was clear, no inner talking etc. Now it is march I am still taking the anti deprssants but the xanax only when I need to go out. My job as a care taker of a house with my girlfriend makes it the perfect job that i never have to see any one or interact with anyone. Over the last few months i find I only really go out to the supermarket. But My girlfriend and i are splitting up in a couple of months and leaving the job maily beacuse she is an extemley social person and I am the opposite. Sex has always been a problem because even her hand on my stomach causes me to tense up instantly and I lose interest, I also find my self very ticklish and can't relax enough to enjoy myself. We have been together for three years. She is the first person I have ever let anywhere near my feelings, not out of choice but now that I look back on my life I see that I have always ran and hid. Our job allows me near constant seclusion which i like but I don't know if i like it because I do or because it is the only place I can relax and feel calm. I am scared of what will happen in a couple months when I am on my own again. From about 14 untill very recently I lived pretty much entirley in my head, again not by choice but i guess out of habit. I have now just started to open up but am still quite confused. Also I used and still use marijuana for the last 10 years, i suppose to i used to ease what seemed like constant tension. Any way I will write more later, I still have not had a proper diagnosis of my "condition" any questions anyone has I can answer to help me figure this all out.
Chris

 

[Chrisfishes]

some one write to me

 

[Chilling__Echo]

i'm guessing your girlfriend knows how you feel, has she heard of social phobia? even though you've not been diagnosed with it (yet maybe) she might could better understand how you feel anyway. but, on the flip side, it takes alot of (if not more) effort on your part to not only convey to her how you feel but to try and work on irrational feelings. sounds like you're off to a good start, going to the doctor and all, but if you want to salvage the relationship, start with that.

 

[GettingThere]

Yes and I would add that you would probably benefit from reading a good self help book, cutting down on the weed use, and being careful in your use of the xanax.

 

[Sebastian]

I believe that having a very sociable partner who loves us is a great and rare thing to have for a sociophobic. Try not to loose that, try to let them help you.

 

[tommydog]

iv got to go with what sebastian has to say on this one chris. Having an outgoing girlfriend is a good thing, and it should be good for you, if you talk to her, and you let it be.

i dont know anything about your relationship .. maybe there are reasons she isnt good for you who knows .. but based on the information youv given, i wouldnt let her go without a big fight; on your part.

If she leaves you, your going to regret it. Do everything you can man. This is the time to cut the crap and throw yourself to the lions, do everything you can to improve your condition, for yourself, and for her.

You should see this as a wake up call, and it should be that extra kick of motivation we all need at some point in our lives to beat this motherfucken thing.

Im on that kick at the moment. Started off because of something else, but now that a girl i really care about is involved, im doing everything i can.

You gotta do what you gotta do, and you cant let bullshit anxiety fuck up every opportunity of bieng fullfilled you get for the rest of you life.