paranoid girlfriend

chibiXphantom

chibiXphantom

Well-known member
ok so i started dating this guy last week, and i like him a lot. he's basically everything i'd want in a guy (idk what he sees in me..). but i think i've fallen for him too fast.
i dont want to be the crazy, overly-attatched girlfriend type. but i think thats what i'm becoming >_<
his facebook page doesnt display his relationship status suddenly, and a girl posted on his page about wanting to hang out (he turned her down, saying he couldnt cause of work). i guess im just paranoid cause ive been cheated on so many times before, and left for other people too.
not really even sure what the point of me posting this is. i guess i just dont know what to do when i like someone more than i should and im not sure how they feel about me.
 
I

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
Well, if you're his girlfriend, I think he should have told that girl about you instead of making an excuse about work. I think he should also display his relationship status.

.........I wouldn't be happy either. I don't think you're being too paranoid.
 
twiggle

twiggle

Well-known member
I'm a paranoid person too so I understand why you feel the way you do, but from a third-person perspective I'm not sure you should be worrying as much as you are.

What if the girl who posted was nothing more than a friend to him, who he would have been happy to meet up with but couldn't only because of working hours. There wouldn't really be a need to say about having a gf at that point I don't think, because that wouldn't be the reason why he couldn't meet her.
(Unless, the time she wanted to meet with him was also a time that he was due to meet you? But even then, perhaps he just didn't want to sound like one of those people who gets in a relationship and then has no time for their friends)

As for the relationship status... a lot of people don't like to put their relationship status on FB. It's not because the relationship is any less secure, just that people don't necessarily want all the limelight and questions that come with suddenly appearing as 'in a relationship' on the newsfeed. It can put a little bit of pressure on the relationship.

So I wouldn't be worrying just yet. Just enjoy it for the moment and then maybe if it's still troubling you later on you can ask him his thoughts on the relationship status thing.

Generally speaking, when it comes to paranoia, there are so many ifs and buts and grey areas in anything that it's best just to operate entirely from facts rather than overthink and overthink. That's how I've been trying to get over it anyway.
 
Last edited:
bluebells

bluebells

Well-known member
chibiXphantom said:
idk if i should ask him about it or not. i dont want to seem like a super jealous girlfriend or anything.
Click to expand...

Do yourself a favour and ask him. It's the only why to get it off your mind.
I wouldn't say you're jealous, just worried which means you care. That's a good thing.
 
S

Silatuyok

Well-known member
You've been dating a week: are you sure he considers you his girlfriend? If you guys haven't talked about being exclusive yet, then I wouldn't make any assumptions if I were you..
 
S

Silatuyok

Well-known member
chibiXphantom said:
by dating a week i mean he asked me to be his his girlfriend a week ago. we were going out a bit before that.
Click to expand...

Ah, I see. In that case, I can understand your concern. I think it would be okay for you to ask him about this other girl, who she is and how they are friends, etc., but just try to be a little bit casual about it. If you are not okay with him hanging out one on one with other girls, then that's something you two need to talk about early on. Don't let it build up inside of you until you make yourself sick with worry!
 
chibiXphantom

chibiXphantom

Well-known member
im just not gonna worry about it i guess. somehow push it out of my mind.
he's way out of my league anyways, so ill just enjoy being with him while it lasts.
 
DeadmanWalking

DeadmanWalking

Well-known member
You shouldn't push it to the back of your mind. You need to resolve it or it'll only grow and get worse.

And your relationship really won't survive if you go in thinking that it's doomed to failure. No one is out of anyone's league; we are all equals as humans. So, have some faith in him and ask the question just to get it out of your system. Explain your feelings to him and see if the two of you can come to some sort of compromise.
 
thegunners21

thegunners21

Well-known member
chibiXphantom said:
im just not gonna worry about it i guess. somehow push it out of my mind.
he's way out of my league anyways, so ill just enjoy being with him while it lasts.
Click to expand...

That is a bad attitude to start a relationship. You're already expecting it to fail.
If I'm not mistaken, you're a really good artist. He should be fortunate to have such a cool artist as a gf.

Regarding the fb thing, a lot of honestly don't give a *beep* about it. There are some guys who put a lot of thought and value into their fb profile and there are some who don't. They don't the drama and inquiries that come with it. I wouldn't worry too much about it.

That's my 2 cents. (Keep in mind though, that I have never been in a relationship so my views might be biased and/or untested.)
 
thegunners21

thegunners21

Well-known member
Hellhound said:
Not to be rude, but artistic abilities don't make you a better person.

Not pointing at anyone, just giving an opinion.
Click to expand...

That's an entirely new debate.
Sure, being an artist doesn't guarantee a better human but it the possibility is there.

Let's be honest, being good at anything requires talent, hard work, and determination which are real life skills and traits of a better human.

Humans with artisitic abilities > humans with no artistic abilities (all other things held constant. Again, not a guarantee, just a possibility)
 
Hellhound

Hellhound

Super Moderator
thegunners21 said:
That's an entirely new debate.
Sure, being an artist doesn't guarantee a better human but it the possibility is there.

Let's be honest, being good at anything requires talent, hard work, and determination which are real life skills and traits of a better human.

Humans with artisitic abilities > humans with no artistic abilities (all other things held constant. Again, not a guarantee, just a possibility)
Click to expand...

That has nothing to do with a person's personality. But okay, d00d. Whatever you say :rolleyes:
 
LazyHermitCrab

LazyHermitCrab

Well-known member
You haven't been dating long, so don't worry about the relationship status. He should change it eventually and if he doesn't ask him, but WAIT a couple months.
 
chibiXphantom

chibiXphantom

Well-known member
i casually brought it up and he had no idea it wasnt showing on his profile. i guess he accidently changed his settings or something and apologized for it.
and he had asked me a week ago (when he asked me to be his girlfriend) if i wanted to make it "facebook official".
i freak out and get scared too easily >_<
 
Falkor

Falkor

1
It's totally normal that you have fears in a relationship which is new, new situations are scary, especially for people with SA or separation fears.

You don't seem like an overly paranoid girlfriend, you just worry a lot, that's totally okay. You just don't want to lose him, and if you need confirmation, he should be blessed because it means you love him...

So don't worry about it, your feelings are normal and if your bf really loves you he will understand.

I'm sorry you feel all these things though, I hope he gives you the security that he REALLY does not want to lose you too. And I hope you can see him again soon.

You can always post here if you need any support.
 
THeCARS1979

THeCARS1979

Well-known member
chibiXphantom said:
ok so i started dating this guy last week, and i like him a lot. he's basically everything i'd want in a guy (idk what he sees in me..). but i think i've fallen for him too fast.
i dont want to be the crazy, overly-attatched girlfriend type. but i think thats what i'm becoming >_<
his facebook page doesnt display his relationship status suddenly, and a girl posted on his page about wanting to hang out (he turned her down, saying he couldnt cause of work). i guess im just paranoid cause ive been cheated on so many times before, and left for other people too.
not really even sure what the point of me posting this is. i guess i just dont know what to do when i like someone more than i should and im not sure how they feel about me.
Click to expand...

hey to be honest. dont worry about facebook status to much because maybe he dont want others to know about any of his business. I took my facebook single status along with a birthdate
 
doctor_who

doctor_who

1
I am a paranoid girlfriend, overattached, clingy and get worried all the time I told my boyfriend about this when we started going out, I said "listen I am a psycho I am quiet, I am paranoid I am a worrier and I get easily attached, if you feel like im suffocating you please leave, I don't want you to feel like im suffocating you" or something along those lines and he is still with me and we started going out in 2011.....just saying, Better be truthful and show him ur true self....but I understand how u feel sometimes I get like that too, facebook is a pain when it comes to relationships!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top