People are ignorant

[zeddi]

I just recently told one of my friends that I am agorphobic. I explained it and the next day they said they think I can get over it. I told him it is a disease, a medical problem just like being diabetic. He said "people get over phobias, they don't get over being diabetic." I said, some people loose weight and no longer have diabetis, some people are able to fix a life situation and their phobia is gone. Then there are the people who are genetically wired to be diabetic for life or suffer from phobias for life, our chemicals in our brain work differently.
Why does everyone think we can "just get over it." Don't they realize that if we could get over it we would. It's not like this is fun, it's not like I prefer to live my life with ridiculous fears. I didn't go and sign up for this.
This is the main reason why I can not work. People don't understand.They think you are faking or making up excuses to get out of work. It is so hurtful. I have been hurt by so many jobs that I can't even imagine trying to get a real job. I am so afraid of the idea that I recently dropped out of college because I realized, how am I going to pay for this. I'll finish school and won't be able to get a real job to pay off the $40,000 debt. I just dropped out of school on Monday, it is all very fresh and raw. I think I am dealing with it well, I am rationalizing as best I can, but it sucks I was on the dean's list. i know I would have done awesome in my feild, but I am held back by my agoraphobia.
That is my vent for the day, thanks for reading

 

[KaileyQuicK]

I agree with you 100%.
My dad always tells me how pathetic I am. He thinks that Im just "too lazy" to go to school. I try and explain what Social Phobia is to him, but he just thinks of me as an embarrassment. In fact, when we are in public together, I am extremely scared, and I want to just go home. I say, "Please Dad. Lets just leave." And he says, "Oh, right. I FORGOT, you have a DISORDER! Ugh! Shut up." Its horrible, I hate it. I mean, I love my dad, but sometimes he puts me down, and it just makes me cry.
I have recently turned to alcohol to help me "solve" my problems. I get drunk until Im numb; until I cant feel a thing. I drink until everything is a tiny bit happier, a bit more....laughable?
I drink until I puke and I smoke until I cant breathe.
I hate it when my dad makes me cry like this. He doesnt understand that Its REAL, you cant just "get over" Social Phobia.

 

[zeddi]

When I was first diagnosed at 22 I was devistated. No one believed me. I went from being extremely outgoing, working two jobs and a full time college student to locking myself in my room, calling in sick to work and dropping out of school. My roomate kicked me out and my parents wouldn't let me move back home. I ended up moving in with a friend at his parents house. His sister suffered from depression and his parents understood, I had also always been very close to them. So I had lost everything. After getting on some meds that calmed me enough, I got a job delivering pizza, moved in withs a guy I didn't like but knew liked me and started drinking to deal with everything. I drank 5 years of my life away. I had a small group of friends who eventually understood and believed me. I don't remember much of that time in my life, since I was always drunk. I got so depressed I put myself in the psych ward. Not because I was trying to kill myself but because I thought being there and being with a shrink regularly, maybe they could figure me out and fix it. That didn't work, I went home, I told my mother I had been drinking to cope and she called me a liar. I was at rock bottom, so I moved to a differnt city, got a job, moved in with a boy who liked me but that I didn't like, and drank all the time. Eventually I met a guy I honestly liked got pregnant after 4 months of dating, so I had to quit drinking. It has been 4 years now and I am married, we have our son who is obviously 3 and we are expecting our second child in June.
The years that I spent drinking trying to cope with this was lonely, depressing and degrading. But when I look at it now, if I hadn't done all that I wouldn't be at the happy place I am now. Maybe all that bad stuff had to happen for me to get my head out of my ass. My agoraphobia is still there, I'm sure it always will be. I'll be on meds my entire life and I'm ok with that.
My point is, the drinking .. there are moments when you are all drunk that everything seems normal. That's what I drank for, the moments of normalicy. But everything else that went along with it was awful. You have to find something for YOU, something that makes everythign make sense and allows you to accept who you are and be ok with it no matter what anyone says.

 

[miss_amy]

You know what, yes, we have a disorder. Its real hard and people dont understand. But I like to have a positive outlook and not think this is it, life is over..lets give up now.

Im going to continue to fight and try forge some kind of life for myself.

Im not saying get over it..damn it I know how hard things are. Ive had things real tough. Im not over it myself, but Im not going to give up the fight. Keep reaching towards that little glimmer of hope and you know what, one day I will get there. Dont give up.

 

[Riiya]

[Riiya goes paranoid.]

 

[madmike]

You can't expect people who don't suffer from it to understand. They'll never feel the fear we feel. Just think about yourself and how you react to other phobias. If someone tells me they're aracnophobes or scared of hights... i chuckle to myself, i just can't understand how those things could really scare someone (I've sometimes even thought they're probably lying... just for a story to tell or something lol). I haven't even tried telling anyone about my phobia... i'll just let people make their own interpretation because i know that whatever happens, they'll never understand...

Sorry about you dropping out of college by the way, i've often thought about it. It's a tough battle but i'm gonna try to stick it out since i know there's nothing else i can do better with this damn phobia!

 

[no1]

I know what you mean zeddi, I go through the same. I would say my "problem" is probably much more than "social anxiety", even if it was I just use that term to describe much of what I go through. I lack "social skills, experience, ideals" etc. and it is something that should not be undermined or underestimated. True I should laugh at myself, but I have seen a lot of people treat me condescendingly because of my "condition", even if they are not aware of it, but they don't live my life or feel the pain I feel.

madmike, being scared of heights can be scary....

 

[madmike]

Haha yeah, see... i could never fully grasp that. I quite like hights. I even want to do rock climbing or something, i can just imagine how free and wonderful i'd feel, the adrenaline rush while climbing and the achievement at the end... being like this, how can i ever put myself in your place! All i know is what you're telling me.

This is why i don't blame people too much when they don't seem to understand...

 

[lettypagb]

kmnjbn

 

[Iceman31]

No one can understand it but you and others who have what you have.

I've been called everything under the sun. I'm used to it. I'm just a LAZY BUM forever. I don't have the good ole' redneck common sense, either.

 

[Reholla]

find friends who understand you and hold on to them.

sorry that happened. people are exremely ignorant.. i agree.

so you were really 22 when you were first diagnosed??
were there factors that contributed to it?

i am not agoraphobic but have had a past with anxiety so i can relate to people not understanding..

but i know from reading my old journals that i had anxiety as bad as anyone, and i have slowly worked thru it.
dont think this is the "end all, be all.." you CAN overcome this and will. did a doctor diagnose you? if so, try going back to him/her, or ask for a referal to work through this. I have gone to therapy (mainly for life problems) and would really siggest it.

just have patience is all i can say, people will judge, and no one else's opinion really even matters. i dont even take compliments any more bc hardly anyone means what they say. Compliments make me smile and i am always happy to recieve one, but just like the negative, you cant let what other people say define you. (theres another post somewhere on here how people -about the same thing- say completely the opposite and its all opinion.. just goes to show how what other people think really dont matter)

hope all the best for you- it WILL get better.. focus on the positive.