Perfectionism

Paahi

Paahi

Well-known member
It's controlling me.
Everything has to be perfectly lined up, in certain positions, super neat, perfectly clean, etc.
Anyone else like this?
How can I stop?
Thanks.
 
Looking_in105

Looking_in105

Well-known member
Yeh looks like you definitely have OCD. Perhaps talk to your doctor or counsellor?

I have perfectionism in a way, in that I must behave perfectly (according to me) in every social situation otherwise I'll think people won't like me. I must talk stutter-free, not use an offensive tone, don't voice my opinion too much as it may offend, overly use manners etc etc. ::(:
 
Bloir

Bloir

Well-known member
Yes, I am very depressed since I was young with the Perfectionism, Relation, studies, family... i dont see the middle point between : I CAN IMPROVE or I have not done perfect and there is not exit.

Of course, it is an important part of OCD, because you relaxed your mind having everything perfect: Cleaning, studies...

Root is the anxiety, you behaviour is OCD because you have MUCH ANXIETY...Resolution is controlling each part of your life.


I always say i go to stop this controled life but later i think: I can not study if i dont do perfect each subject like everyday. So i am very trapped for my behaviour if i try to stop it, i feel more anxiety...
 
Beautifully Disturbed

Beautifully Disturbed

New member
I'm kinda like that but w/having a kid I've learned{I had to in fact lol} to not be so perfect aka that I can't be or have things perfect all the dang time,its just really not possible.The only thing I can suggest is letting little messes/things go a day or 2 w/out touching them or constantly looking/thinking about it.When you have that down,than move on to doing it w/bigger messes/things or even just letting the little 1s remain for more days.Hey you can even make a game out of it & make a little bet w/your self on seeing if you can go a certain amount of days longer than your average or your best time/longest amount of time you went before you cave in to the dier need to make it perfect again.Always give your self little rewards,regardless if your met your bet/goal or not because its the fact that you tried & that should count{I knw I think it does & did it} for something right?For me I can most of the time go a month or 2 w/little things but w/bigger stuff its maybe only a wk or 2 before the need to take care of it/my life is out of control fr it type feeling comes full force & I have to try making stuff perfect{in my eyes} again before I am able to do anything eles.Although I strongly would nvr recommend anyone to have a baby for pity reason,I do have to admit that having her around to keep me busy & distracted has been a big part{help} in getting to where I am now.If you didn't know,perfectionism is all in the brain & how our mind is set on it,constantly thinking about the same stuff repeatedly in a short amount of time or at least till you fix it aka till you make it perfect again,than it resets & moves on to the next thing it feels/see is not perfect so the cycle nvr stops.I figure if you can find ways to keep your self busy,distracted or at least thinking about anything thats a none big deal stresser,than it should work or at the very least help out.Btw w/me I feel like if things around me are perfect than life is ok,you know as in manageable.I have more of a clam air around me that seems to relax me.When things are messy,out of order & not perfect to me,thats when I feel like my world is crashing down on me/all around me & life for me seems to get really crazy,out of control.It even messes w/the way I think or rmr things{when its like that,most of the time I don't recall things as well or at all} happening the way it did/does & that worries me.Idk but as soon as I have things around me perfect again or back to the way I had it,{clean,in order,when everything is in their place where they belong ect} suddenly life gets easier/better for me.My mind is able to open up & think clearly again.I've alwayed wonder if you or anybody eles w/perfectionism type issuse,feel or have the same things as me?I also wonder if my S.A disorder is a big reason behind,contriberting to it or for me having/wanting to be perfect & having things perfect?I guess a part of me feels & thinks that if I'm perfect acting/looking on the outside,than maybe no 1 will see how messed up{not normal} I really am on the inside:{
Plus I believe that if I am or was perfect than maybe I could or would go outside more & not have a possible panik attack from ppl trying to talk to me or even looking at me.Sadly I know it don't matter because even at my best my mind is at its worst & I freak out from attention overload.It feels like a no win situation for me & I wish there was a pill to make my brain stop thinking so dang much w/its none stop racing all the time.Maybe if I was dumber{most ppl who think alot are smarter they say lol} than maybe I'd think way less & I wouldn't have S.A.Idk thats my 2cents for you & you/ppl can take it how ever you/they like or will.I just wanted to put my view on it out there & see if I'm not the only 1 out there going through this,{the way I am w/the feelings & symptoms I have} & if they have any helpful tips they could give me or even just share some information,past personal experience or any new knowledge for me,so I could try & enlighten myself with/use.I do hope my suggests/information helps you out & hopefully you/other ppl get back to me on the questions I asked beause I'd really like to know.Plz & ty,take care.
 
Beautifully Disturbed

Beautifully Disturbed

New member
Controlling everything in your life{sometimes even going overbroad by trying to control other ppls lives who are around you} is part of perfectionism.Since you have the need to be perfect or have things around you{in your life} perfect & in order to do so,you want,have to & need to be in control of every little thing.Honestly even if you micro-managed every aspect of your life,it wouldn't really help & can actually make things/it worse.I know from mine{fyi I extermly went overboard in trying to control anything & everything that could,would or did happen to me or around me} & other ppls experiences that you won't get very far so instead of trying to control everything so much,try to learn how to just manage it & take life day by day w/out looking so far into the future about stuff that hasn't even happened yet & that maybe nvr will.You can nvr have complete control on everything in life,no 1 can no matter what{just letting everybody know} & thats what I have to keep reminding myself
 
Kamen

Kamen

Well-known member
They may be at risk and perfectionism may eventually play a role in developing OCD, but there is no sign of equality between the two. And the keyword here is maybe, because... well, we know pretty well how some of those researches end up, don't we? :) We've already seen deductions on such matters that are 180 degrees apart.
We should be careful what we read and absorb.
 
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