Psychosomatic Dizziness

[Starry]

LONG story, sorry, please keep with me...

Well, I have agoraphobia, though I feel like a fraud for classing it as such, since I don't believe it's true agoraphobia... In my case it's caused by dizziness, I always have it to some degree or another, but it's definitely made worse by stress, leaving my "safe place" not being able to escape and get somewhere safe etc...

My dizziness started when I was 12. I was on a school trip to France. It was about 4pm on a Saturday, I hadn't had any sleep since I woke up at 7:30am on the Friday. I also hadn't had anything to eat or drink since 8am on Saturday. I was in a small, crowded shop, suddenly my vision went blurry, I went numb and felt like I was floating, half way between consciousness and unconsciousness. The whole place seemed to spin for about 30 seconds. I told the teacher, who told me to go sit outside for a while. I did so and it passed, I put it down to lack of sleep and lack of food and drink...

A few weeks later, while I was walking home from school, the same thing happened, only without the blurry vision. Slowly the attacks became more and more frequent, until I had a permanent low level of dizziness, which was agrivated by having to stand in the open, or in corridors, or in a line....

I became paranoid about having to walk anywhere without having something to hold onto incase I fell, or without being able to run somewhere so I could sit down until I was calm and it eased a little.

This started intefering with school, I started missing lunch so that I wouldn't have to stand in line, I missed assembly every day because I felt stressed having to stand to sing the song, and scared that I'd fall off of my chair or something infront of everyone.

Eventually, what with the dizziness and the social phobia, I couldn't face school anymore. I became an emotional wreck trying to just get out of the door to go. I couldn't do it anymore and stopped going completely.

I eventually got into a non-mainstream school, that I was taken to and from by taxi, I still found it stressful there, but the teachers were understanding at least. Plus it was only small and didn't have endless corridors - I really hate corridors with the dizziness, they make it much worse.

Then I left school at 16. And I haven't left the house since. I only go to doctors appointments when absolutely necesarry, and then only if I'm taken by taxi. (Though it's literally a 15 minute walk away.) I can't even get to the end of my road. (4/5 houses away from mine)

I had an appointment at the hospital in May last year to see an ENT consultant, to do tests on my ears incase it was a physical problem. He was very condescending to me, treated me like a little child. When I fell over he called it an "over-reaction." I spent the whole appointment in tears. Only to be told it was psychological.

The last time I went to the doctors I fell over there too, and literally crawled into the doctor's office. You can imagine how embarrassed I was when you add the social phobia onto the top of that. 8O So now I can't even face the doctors anymore...

Sorry to make this post so long, I thought background information might prove useful...

I was just wondering if anyone else had any experience of psychosomatic/psychogenic dizziness that's continuous to some degree or another. And if anyone knew of any way to overcome it? Because after nearly 9 years of it, I'm just about sick and tired of it and with completely wasting my life. *Sigh*

Any help much appreceiated.

 

[DYiNG-iNSiDE]

you know reading your posts u remind me alot of me lol i get that i dont think as bad as u buti still get preeetty dizzy at times u doped out at 16? im 16 now and havent been in 2 wks. do u regret dropping out?

 

[Starry]

Here in the UK school ends at 16, so I still took my exams and everything, though I do regret not going into further education - College, University etc...

I'm sorry you have dizziness too, it's such a pain. It really badly effects me - Some days I can't even manage to stand in the kitchen to cook a meal because of it. 8O Though thankfully, it hasn't been that bad for a good few months now.

 

[DYiNG-iNSiDE]

omg, school ends at 16!?? god ur sooo lucky id do anything 2 be done w/ it this yr but still got 2 more at least after this.

 

[Starry]

Yep. I still wish I could have continued with my education though...

Hold in there, you'll probably regret it if you drop out.

I know how difficult school is though. It was a nightmare for me.

But, and this is going to sound so weird... I'd still rather be back there than stuck in the house all the time like I am now. 8O If I'd known at the time, that I'd end up saying that one day, I think I may have appreceiated school more lol. I just look back and think, it wasn't so bad... Okay, so I was constantly stressed, okay, so I was bullied, okay, so I had no friends, okay, so the dizziness caused me to become an emotional wreck,okay, so I hated it...

But I hate this more, and school honestly looks inviting compared to this lol. 8O

 

[DYiNG-iNSiDE]

lol i guess i c what u mean. u dont work?

 

[Starry]

Nope - I can't leave the house at all. (Well, except to a tree which is all of ten or so steps away from the front gate lol) So I do nothing, I spend my day exercising, reading, listening to music and browsing the internet... :roll: I really am a complete waste of air and space at the moment lol. :roll:

Which is why I started the thread, I was hoping someone might be able to offer advice on the dizziness, which is the cause of my agoraphobia - I know I could go out if I wasn't dizzy lol. Though I'd still feel self conscious outside, it would be bareable.

 

[Amiyumi]

I just read this post, so sorry for not replying sooner.

Have you had any help yet, since you were told it was psychological?

I left school at 15, but I finished most of my exams cause I was ahead a year, but still missed alot. I was seeing the school psych too, so when I left they refered me to a psychologist. If you aren't getting any help, then you should see the doctor about getting a cpn at least. They should be doing something. You will get your life back, they helped me get out and start college again. They're used to dealing with this kind of thing.

Social work servicies can help too, they can refer you to places and get you a befriender. But try to get a cpn first (comunity psychiatric nurse), they'll help with the panic attacks and sp, but they can be a little pushy, some of them are, but you don't have to do what you don't want to.

I don't have the dizzyness anymore. It sounds like panic attacks cause of sp? I only took 2 panic attacks like that, and they've never come back. I just let them come, I was relaxed, but one was at home, I guess it'd be worse if I had them that bad at school. I've never dreaded or feared them happening, so they never got hold of me, manifested into a big thing. I don't know if what I had was the same though. I used to get blurry vision and my head would spin after going out after 3 years, but it stopped after I stood at the door and ajusted to the fresh air. Maybe you could try and go out at night with someone, when it's quiet. That helped me get out, now I can go out at daytime by myself. Sorry I can't offer much advice on it.

And doctors.. grr.. :evil:

Mine made me cry, he told me not to diagnose myself when I was sent to him for a refferal, what a jerk!

I still can't face him, he won't even come to the house in an emergency, he dosen't take agoraphobia or sp very seriously, but another doc there does, so I should switch to her.

Rescue remedy calms me down, but makes me laugh and not all there lol. I don't know if it'd do any good with dizzyness though. But be careful with medication if you're offered it, look up the effects first like if its addictive they can be addictive etc. Good luck to you.

 

[Starry]

Have you had any help yet, since you were told it was psychological?

Nope, nothing. I should go back to the doctors again, but since the last time, I'm more scared than ever. :roll: :?

I left school at 15, but I finished most of my exams cause I was ahead a year, but still missed alot. I was seeing the school psych too, so when I left they refered me to a psychologist. If you aren't getting any help, then you should see the doctor about getting a cpn at least. They should be doing something. You will get your life back, they helped me get out and start college again. They're used to dealing with this kind of thing.

Social work servicies can help too, they can refer you to places and get you a befriender. But try to get a cpn first (comunity psychiatric nurse), they'll help with the panic attacks and sp, but they can be a little pushy, some of them are, but you don't have to do what you don't want to.

Even the thought of seeing anyone, or having a "befriender" scares me lol. I really am scared around all people. Today, I was in the front garden for a change, (Just sweeping up and stuff, while it was quiet and nobody was around.) and a neighbour's child (About 8) came out, I had to come inside, just to get away from her sight. I hate people seeing me...

I don't have the dizzyness anymore. It sounds like panic attacks cause of sp? I only took 2 panic attacks like that, and they've never come back. I just let them come, I was relaxed, but one was at home, I guess it'd be worse if I had them that bad at school. I've never dreaded or feared them happening, so they never got hold of me, manifested into a big thing. I don't know if what I had was the same though. I used to get blurry vision and my head would spin after going out after 3 years, but it stopped after I stood at the door and ajusted to the fresh air. Maybe you could try and go out at night with someone, when it's quiet. That helped me get out, now I can go out at daytime by myself. Sorry I can't offer much advice on it.

I've had the SP all my life - The dizziness, and the panics that the dizziness caused, caused my agoraphobia though, definitely. I know for certain that I'd be okay going out if I didn't have the constant dizziness... Which I don't think is related to the SP, but I'm not sure...

And doctors.. grr.. :evil:

Mine made me cry, he told me not to diagnose myself when I was sent to him for a refferal, what a jerk!

I still can't face him, he won't even come to the house in an emergency, he dosen't take agoraphobia or sp very seriously, but another doc there does, so I should switch to her.

Yes, Grr! at doctors lol - I hate them all! :twisted:

Rescue remedy calms me down, but makes me laugh and not all there lol. I don't know if it'd do any good with dizzyness though. But be careful with medication if you're offered it, look up the effects first like if its addictive they can be addictive etc. Good luck to you.

I've tried rescue remedy a few times before, it did absolutely nothing for me at all. Well, that's not quite true, my physical symptoms weren't as bad, (ie pulse rate, and hyperventilating) but my thoughts and the fear I have were just as bad. As for medication. I'm already very wary of that, I won't take anything at all unless it's absolutely necessarry, that includes things like paracetamol lol. Plus I tend to get paranoid with medication. I read all the possible side-effects and have panic attacks after I've taken it lol.

 

[rado31]

How ingenious of your doctor to say to you that dizziness is psychological.
I was told that for my constant high temperature when i did tests during the school. Superb. We all think that it is coming from our butt, what a revelation.

I have no soultion for dizziness, though. I m not having it frequently though, but i know how embarassing it is. Last time i had it , i was running to my house with flashes and blurred vision , when my neighbour poped out of nothing and asked my how was i . I hope that he will not tell anybody since i screamed that i m about to drop uncouncis (i couldnt really lie or fake it at the moment).

 

[Amiyumi]

I've always had sp too, sorry for the long post, I'll explain how I got in this mess too. You don't have to read all this, just skip to the last bit. It's not really a rant, it's no big to me now, but sorry in advance.

My mum took ill with me when I was born, so she never took to me, and my dad had to give up work to take care of us. She was in hospital for a couple of years. When she had my little sis, she was better, so I think thats how I'm the only one this bad in my family.

When I started school I was really quiet, I never talked. It was the first time I was out, around other kids. So kids included me till about primary 3 and I ended up on my own after that, I just walked round the school or stayed at a wall. By primary 5, kids started commenting on my colour, and my looks (I was really ugly), so I never had any self esteem. My brother and sister, I never got on with them back then, so they always made fun of me for how I acted at school, my mum too, but she didn't really know, they were trying diffrent medications for her at the time, but I always hated her as a kid. When I was 7 I was in an accident and wouldn't go out at home anymore, thats how I became so isolated. Eventually the teachers told my dad about what I was like at school, so he got me a psychologist, but she said I was extremley shy. So he moved me to a diffrent school, thinking I needed a fresh start. I was bullied by some guy there, he would kick me when I was alone or ruin my work etc, and a girl there started picking on me cause I was tanned, so I got a complex about it. I stopped eating in the lunchrooms cause when I had no where to sit and no one let me sit with them, so I can't eat in front of people even now. Highschool was the same, till I was 14, then I just changed, and guys started to like me. But I couldn't deal with the attention and it turned into abuse and bullying so I left. I'm ok with my family now, but still can't tell them about it, back then I pretended everything was ok, cause of how they handled things in the past.

Thats when I couldn't go out and got a cpn, but could still face people, and she got me into college. Sorry for assuming it was that easy. I went to college and ended up moving into a class with as, I used to hang around with them cause I couldn't make friends in my class, and the tutours said I probably have it too, the psych agreed so I was diagnosed, but I know I don't have it, I haven't been officially tested. My brother and little sis have it though, I'm no where near as intelegent as them, and never will be.

The same attention problems happened in college, not as physical, but I was threatened and stalked by one guy and lost trust in men. I became fully housebound at 19 (3 days before I turned 19), and couldn't face anyone. At 22 I got a housecoat to hide from my family too. It's only since I met a guy who knew what was wrong with me and had the patience to get to know me that I started to get better. I can face him, and sometimes my family. The psych visited just last year to make sure I'm not psychotic or anything, and wont come out to help me since I wont face them yet. I had the social offer me a befriender too, but I haven't got back to them on it yet.

Just now, when I go out, I go out when it's raining. So I have my hood and brolly up to hide, so long as people can't see me I'm fine out there. But summers comming... I need to get a hat or something maybe. I'm waiting for the easter holidays to be over just now so I can have a venture out again. It's a little like mission impossible ha.

Actually it's people who know me, or in my aera I fear seeing me. Cause I know they'll look, and know I'm the girl that dosen't go out. If I'm out my street I'm better, cause there's no stigma, they don't know I have sp so I can put on an act that I'm normal, confident. But I dread comming back home, it's like I have to sneak back without anyone noticing. :lol:

Try going out at night was probably the best advice I gave then. Thats what got me going out, I still hide when the door goes and hide at the window, but getting out there really takes your focus away from yourself. You relise how unrealistic you are with yourself, and start to let go of it. Although it dosen't go away. I think it will eventually with me. The biggest thing that got me out of that way of thinking about myself was the guy who helped me get this far, having someone who loved me. But I am starting to love myself now cause of it. Loving yourself and letting go of whatever other people think is the only thing I think can cure this. It's lack of self worth, and you have to give that to yourself somehow. Try and go for a walk at night round the block, sure you're not facing people but it does help. Or even sitting on your porch at night, and walking up to the tree.

Can you face people when you're out of your street? When I'm out of my aera it's easier for me. My sa is literally halved. Especially if you don't see them again. Maybe you could get a day out somewhere, like a relatives, I don't have any, but I think anywhere, even in a taxi to somewhere quiet and back in. Early in the morning when no one'll be around, since its lighter early in summer too.

Sorry this isn't much help right now, I'll post again, I was going somewhere with this, but my heads a little slow right now. But keep going, the only reason I stayed in too long was cause I gave up on it, I lost myself in videogames and projects. Maybe that was recovery time... but you do get sick of your life eventually, you want more.

I'm sorry you're going through that, but trust me, there is light at the end of the tunnel on this one, even if you can't face people for now, do what you can, people can wait, you can only climb one mountian at a time.

 

[Starry]

I'm sorry for all you've been through, but i'm glad you're improving now.

Try going out at night was probably the best advice I gave then. Thats what got me going out, I still hide when the door goes and hide at the window, but getting out there really takes your focus away from yourself. You relise how unrealistic you are with yourself, and start to let go of it. Although it dosen't go away. I think it will eventually with me. The biggest thing that got me out of that way of thinking about myself was the guy who helped me get this far, having someone who loved me. But I am starting to love myself now cause of it. Loving yourself and letting go of whatever other people think is the only thing I think can cure this. It's lack of self worth, and you have to give that to yourself somehow. Try and go for a walk at night round the block, sure you're not facing people but it does help. Or even sitting on your porch at night, and walking up to the tree.

Night was the time I was using to just walk to that tree, (It's so pathetic, the tree is so close to the house lol) I also hate knowing that people can see me... It's easier at night because I don't fear people seeing me so much, so my mind's quieter... But, the darkness seems to make my dizziness worse somehow, so it's not easier in that respect. It's the dizziness that's my problem really. I couod cope wit the feeling that people are lloking at me, if I felt steady on my feet...

Can you face people when you're out of your street? When I'm out of my aera it's easier for me. My sa is literally halved. Especially if you don't see them again. Maybe you could get a day out somewhere, like a relatives, I don't have any, but I think anywhere, even in a taxi to somewhere quiet and back in. Early in the morning when no one'll be around, since its lighter early in summer too.

It doesn't matter where people are, I'm just as uncomfortable with them...

I'm sorry you're going through that, but trust me, there is light at the end of the tunnel on this one, even if you can't face people for now, do what you can, people can wait, you can only climb one mountian at a time.

Mountains, I like mountains - If I ever do get opver my problems i'm going to go to a mountain and climb it lol. :lol:

 

[Amiyumi]

I've posted about this before, but didn't know how to put a link up. Actually it might not work...

http://www.phobics-society.org.uk/

It's a charity for in the uk. Its £21 a year to join, but maybe the phone therapy service can help you. ..to be honest I just couldn't be bothered to try it myself, I didn't feel it'd could help, so I can't say if its any good...

And that number isn't freephone, but they have the same thing through email.

But the people on it have suffered from the problems themselves or are training psychologists, so I guess it's ok. The section for meeting people and support groups are mostly in England.

Obviously be careful if you add your contact details, and if you meet people. If you have a mobile, use that instead of your house number if you contact suffers. (sorry, that sounds obvious, but I still have to say). They deal with all phobias, and ocd etc.

They give you a form so you can refer yourself to phone therapy, so you can post it to the docs, I cant see even mine refuse that..

Sorry I can't really think of anything else right now. It's not really something I wanted to try, I still don't...

Good luck though.

 

[Amiyumi]

People will always be mountian enough for me :lol: You seem so creative and ambitious, I think this experience makes us value life and people more than most.

Maybe you could use going to the tree to ajust to the dizzyness, going out at night and sitting on the step, let yourself become dizzy :lol: I don't know what that's like really, but maybe you'd get used to it and it'd stop, like panic attacks would, but I really think that you need to see someone to help find the root cause of it, that's the only way you'll put an end to that I think. Sorry I can't relate.

Doctors like yours.. ugh, y'know, I think they should be reminded that they're generic, GP - general practitioner, and that they have no right to think they know anything about mental illness. Just the power to refer you to someone who does instead of letting people get this bad cause they think they know better. :evil:

So many could use a bedside manner too.

 

[Starry]

I've had the dizziness for nearly nine years (In May) I think if I was going to get used to it, I would have by now lol. I did manage to suffer on with it for 3(ish) years, but the stress it caused just got too much. *Sigh*

I would love to find the root cause and just get rid of it once and for all. It's enough to drive a person insane... Oh, wait, I already am insane, so no danger of that lol. (Sorry, it' one of my things, I like calling myself insane lol)

Yep :twisted: :evil: at GPs lol.

Thanks for the link BTW, I think I'll give it a miss though - I'm not good with phones... And I hate giving out my e-mail, so I wouldn't use that either lol. (I'm paranoid about e-mails too lol) thank you though.

 

[FOR REAL]

im absolutely stunned
Starry, you have summed up exactly the way i feel too.
i realise its an old thread and i hope you are feeling better now
i thought i was the only one who felt as bad with dizziness/vertigo

im not really sure how to reply to this. in one way im glad im not alone but in another way i wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy.

if your still on here Starry, keep us informed please