Putting Our Problems Into Perspective

[silversoul80]

The London bombings and all other war and terrorist events that affect everyday people around the world certainly put our small problems into perspective. It's funny to see how self obssessed we all are with our own problems. The bombings and killings have only had a small mention in here whilst we're still droning on about our "issues" People have died and we're still discussing how much we hate being looked at, talking in public etc. How inward thinking and vain we all are.

A woman just said in an interview; I'm a great believer in not letting fear get in the way of anything you want to do.

I think we can apply her advice about not giving into terrorism to our own small self induced fears.

Maybe if we werent so obsessed with ourselves and thinking about ourselves all day every day we wouldn't have this problem. There's more to life than us.

 

[silversoul80]

I included my self in that statement by the way.

Its not human nature, it's a human flaw. Human nature is to protect and worry about others. The modern human however has the flaw of being self serving and only concerned abouts ones own issues.

I Live in Dartford, Kent and work in Hammersmith, London. I was stuck in London until 10pm last night. I saw human nature as it was intended. Everyone was compasionate and forgot about themselves and their own concerns and only showed interest in helping others get home safetly. I forgot about every ounce of self consciousness I had.
I did not once think about how my voice sounded, how I looked, how I acted. All those tedious self concerns seemd totally irrelevant. And even the day after, I still feel that way. It takes things like this to see how small you actually are in the scale of things and how everyone is in the same boat and that your own individual worries and concerns about yourself are minor and irelelvant and it's shameful we spend so much of our lives wasting time on them

 

[black_mamba]

Very very true. I have had similar incidents whereby other people needed my help and I forget all sense of self-consciousness (almost). My mother recently damaged her knee in the London Marathon and as I took her through hospital and spoke with doctors, I was anxious yes, but I never let it dominate me. More important stuff happenig at the time.

Also whilst telling my friend about my SP the Live8 concert was on tv. I felt silly complaining about my little self-obsessed issues then, but the perspective did help soothe my worries. It wore off a few days later.

In such extreme situations as the bombings yesterday almost everyone feels the same - that their problems pale in comparison to the thought of being killed/having loved ones attacked. Its certainly not an easy method to rely on in overcoming SP though - I use a modified approach when anxious. I keep telling myself that I'll be dead one day and none of this matters. Using the perspective of death and comparing that moment in time to the present one helps me relax. However theres a danger there of becoming more anxious because you suddenly realise how little you have achieved.

But I'm not too big a fan of saying 'hang on, kids are starving in Africa therefore we have no right to feel depressed'. I realise this isn't what this topic is strictly about, but I have a habit of digressing.

Silversoul did you mean Dartford? I used to go to school around that area (nr Bexleyheath). Glad you got home safely!

 

[silversoul80]

I know I made quite a sweeping statement there, but I feel this is the kind of "smack in the face" we all need. I get the impression we have too much time on our hands, we dont involve ourselves enough in life. We (SP sufferers) are all intelligent sensitive intuitive people and should put it to use. If we spent our lives concenrating on and helping others, we would soon forget about our, in comparison, unrealistic problems.

Maybe we should all be applying for social and health orientated jobs, or working for charities. Anything that concentrates our thoughts and time on the concerns of others. We need to take ourselves away from ourselves because when we dont, we sink more into ourselves if that makes sense.

Well done for taking charge and helping you mother mamba. I'm sure you gained alot of respect from her and respct for yourself for doing that. You certainly did from me considering your "social phobias" I'd like to think I would act in that way given a situation like that.

Yeah I meant Dartford, I'm a terrible speller
And thankyou

 

[GettingThere]

Terrorism has been a part of the daily life in places like Israel for many years. Things only open our eyes when they occur close to home and also when they are "spectacular". By that I mean out-of-the-ordinary.

Don't get me wrong, it was a horrible, horrible thing, however,...... unspectacular but much, much more tragic (by weight of numbers involved) things hardly rate a mention. I refer to the fact recently exposed in the advertising for live 8 - a child dieing every three seconds due to extreme poverty conditions. That is about 30,000 per day and the tragic thing is that the super rich people of the world could prevent a hell of a lot of those deaths by sharing some of their wealth.

If five people die in a helicopter crash somewhere in the world, it makes the news. If one person gets taken by a shark in - say - usa, it makes news on the other side of the world. 30,000 children die of starvation everyday - it is not newsworthy. The media are basically motivated by their selfish interests in their efforts to make money and they do by publishing/broadcasting anything which will get people's attention and ring up sales. But this is getting away from the subject of the posting, sorry.

As awful as all of this is, the fact is that this is a forum for social phobia and as such, the vast majority of postings will be for that very subject - as it should be. If the tragic events of the past 24 hours have opened some minds to the reality that their problems are not as important as they had previously thought, then as least some good would have come out of this horror.

 

[silversoul80]

I am fully aware that suicide bombings and mass murder and famine are an every day occurance for "far off lands" and that our media only take an interest when it hits clos to home.

I was not talking about politics or war.

I am fully aware that this is a forum about social phobias. If you read my posts again, it was mainly about how to view our phobias differently, how to categorise them.

For example, we now have a "sticky" post, promoting postive posts only, because people have begun realising that the vast majority of posts in here seem to repeat themselves and go around in cirlces. We seem to be promoting our problems, making them self-perpetuating.
No one seems to want to hear advice or ideas of how to think and feel diffrerently, some people just want to wallow, and compare the depth and severity of their own indivdual problems against those of others in here.

My post was simply an opinion about how to look at our issues from a different angle. It was not the start of a political debate within a Social Phobia forum as you suggest.

 

[GettingThere]

Actually I was suggesting that I myself was rambling away from your posting and not you.

As I said at the end of my post, if anyone can view thier own private world in a different light post this horrible act of terrorism, then that is a good thing. That is to say, I am agreeing with you in the general essence of what you have said.

 

[silversoul80]

That's what I like to hear :wink:

 

[Neebo]

I was thinking the exact same thing,it certainly does put things into perspective. I watched news coverage of the terrorist bombings in London practically all day yesterday and I saw people really suffering and in pain both physically and mentally. And I was thinking that my problems are nothing compared to the all the unfortunate people who lost their lives and their loved ones who will of course be in mourning for the loss of their loved ones Not to mention the seriously and critically ill people in hospital

 

[Angie_05]

Of course SP is trivial compared to someone who just lost a mother or a son in the bombing. I think I should be more appreciative of the things I have. I don't think that any of us are selfish though. Anxiety can take over your mind and sometimes it just can't be helped if you don't know how to help it. I have chosen to stop watching the news so much because it perpetuates my anxiety.

In conclusion, I think we need to have compassion for others and for ourselves. We are only human and one person cannot solve the problems of the world, but many people together can change the world in a great way.

A gestault psychologist in the early 1900's (I forgot his name) said that if every person in the world worked their hardest and only spent money which was necessary to live, then wealth would be spread out among everyone.

 

[ignisfatuus]

As has already been pointed out, the number of casualties involved are minute compared to other occurrences that are happening on a daily basis. Life lost in such a manner is reprehensible; it is just unfortunate that sensational cases gobble up the headlines while others are ignored or only afforded a brief mention.

I disagree with the OP's argument although I used to think similarly. I'm not going to break it down in depth, but the main thrust against it is this: you cannot help others, until you help yourself. Does it help to belittle the problem by comparing it to grand tragedies? No. It is not a constructive way to combat the obstacles that SA presents. It is impossible not to think about such things if you are in any way introspective by nature, but it is best to shelve them away.

 

[Horatio]

As far as I can recall there are three things all people need in order to live

1: Food
2: Water
3: Love

In Africa a lot of people are without the first two. Socialphobics often miss out on the last one and in my case have too much of the first
Socialphobia is a nasty beast as it really can limit ones abilities to form meaningful friendships and relationships.

Anyone who is without food or water has my compassion but so does anyone who finds themselves alone as they too can starve to death.

With regards to the London Bombings, its a completely different issue that can not be compared in my opinion.

 

[pitkreet]

Food and shelter are essential to survive.

A sense of social belonging is essential to having a desire to live.

 

[rfnatboy]

i disagree i have no sense of social belonging and im often happy .

 

[rfnatboy]

right on taws , hooked on prozac worked for me !