Q&A for people who can't talk

[Azahara]

both, fortunately its not as bad as everybody else's, but yeah, I'm developing a method for overcoming it. Its in the early stages but there might be something in it.

So, James, your method won´t be useful for me, `cause I was 36 years old and I developed an avoidant Personality disorder.
But thank you, anyway

Sorry bout that, I'm not sure what an avoidant personality disorder is, but it sounds bad.

It´s like a social phobia but which is not treated in time. It became an avoidant personality. It´s difficult to treat but I´m following a therapy that I hope it help me.

For more information, visit this page:

http://www.minddisorders.com/A-Br/Avoidant-personality-disorder.html

Thank you for your interest. I thought you were a phychologists and I misunderstood your message. I think you have been developing a new theraphy. My native language is not English and sometimes I´m very fast reading and writing.
SF and AvPD are similar in many aspects. But, SP is the beggining to develop my problem.
Anyway, there are other more serious disorders and problems in this world.

Good luck!

 

[JamesAnderson20]

Are there people who can talk to people but not other people

Something which should have been obvious to me a while ago was the way in which around certain people, I wasn't self concious because I didn't really worry what these people thought about me, or maybe I did but for some reason it wasn't an immediate concern, or I just never thought about it. In High School though, for me at least, it really did matter what people thought about you, and that's when I started to give a lot of thought to what I said and did, because there wasn't room for screw-ups, and it became a competition as well, especially when you want to impress people, usually the other sex. An example, there was a girl I sat next to, for a while, I could talk to her and make her laugh as good as anybody else, in fact I was the best. Then one day one of my friends started trying to hit on her, she liked him, and that was it. After that, even to say anything to her, I had to do it better than he could. With this kind of pressure, it started a defense mechanism I am only just starting to understand. I stopped speaking to people. I'll tired now, I'll finish this later. Thoughts though?

 

[Ubersonic]

I think most of it stems from the need for approval. We over analyze everything during conversation out of fear of not being approved by the other person. If we could just accept ourselves for who we are, we would not care that much what other people think.

Also, I think we judge ourselves based on what others think, rather than what we think.

EDIT: Oh I just noticed the above post. It reminded me of myself in high school. I talked to girls, but after getting rejected for the "better" guys I was left with some emotional scars. I don't think there's any easy way to handle rejection.

 

[Azahara]

Re: Are there people who can talk to people but not other pe

Something which should have been obvious to me a while ago was the way in which around certain people, I wasn't self concious because I didn't really worry what these people thought about me, or maybe I did but for some reason it wasn't an immediate concern, or I just never thought about it. In High School though, for me at least, it really did matter what people thought about you, and that's when I started to give a lot of thought to what I said and did, because there wasn't room for screw-ups, and it became a competition as well, especially when you want to impress people, usually the other sex. An example, there was a girl I sat next to, for a while, I could talk to her and make her laugh as good as anybody else, in fact I was the best. Then one day one of my friends started trying to hit on her, she liked him, and that was it. After that, even to say anything to her, I had to do it better than he could. With this kind of pressure, it started a defense mechanism I am only just starting to understand. I stopped speaking to people. I'll tired now, I'll finish this later. Thoughts though?

That sound me perfectionism. It´s only an opinion, ok.

 

[JamesAnderson20]

Okay, perhaps that wasn't the best example. What am I trying to say? Seriously, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing writing this. Oh yeah, remembered. Everybody is flawed. Everybody says stupid stuff, and makes a fucking fool of themselves, but if they don't care about looking stupid, then they're not inhibitted, and they don't worry about interaction with other people, because its not a concern that they'll screw up. I'll finish this thought later. In the meantime, does anybody see what I'm saying here, or is it just the musings of a retard. I personally think there's a logic to it, of course I'm probably wrong, or am I? Perhaps, but perhaps not!

 

[bitingthepea]

I absoltely hate it when i have to talk for a few senetnces i alwasy try and talk a few words.
I hate pople looking at me when im talkin i think there judging me somehow !
i just put it down to paranoyer
with some people its better than others
and the worst thing !!

being told your very quiet! quiet maybe but very quiet! thats jus embarssing

 

[Walk]

Rejection.

I was actually pushed away by my "friends" in jr high when I went to meet with them in lunch. I was in 7th grade I think.

Had trouble making friends after that.

If there was one event that caused my SA, it was that.

It really sucks because I swear I didn't do anything to that guy; I believe he just wanted to look cool or some shit in frt of the other guys. Nobody did anything to stop him so I just kept walking away.

Man, what a douche.

I honestly believe that he might regret doing that now that he's an adult, or at least that's what I hope :?