Comanch09
Member
This was a email I sent to a site that dealt with social problems. So it refers to what he wrote at times, but it pretty much sum my situation up. Hopefully some people could comment on my situation:
Hi,
I found your site a little while ago, and looked at an "intro" per say on your site. I match what your situation was pretty much to a T. I moved around every two years as an only child. Also, my parents were and still are horrible with socializing with other people. Rarely see them go out. On top of that, the time to learn social skills was screwed by some idea I came up with. On my last move to this state, South Carolina, I made a decision to be very goal oriented and to change all parts of my life. Basically, I became better in school and more focused on sports (better at sports), and learning things I felt I wasnt being taught (various skills, non fiction books). I, however, sacrificed my social life for it. I was a "normal" kid before 8th grade, guess I was tired of being normal for whatever reason.
So, from 8th grade-Freshman year in College, I became super goal oriented and super sacrificing on not socializing to "lesser humans" (my view; didn't like the people in this state at the time, now I see the flaw in that view. Might not have liked everything about them, but still I should have socialized with them some). I saw them as racists at times when I first moved down here (they were at times, and wanted to shut myself off from them). Then I also got a kick out of being a "rebel" to social circles.
Anyways, I see the flaw that I caused. I did benefit though. I got better in school and saw the importance of education. I also got good at sports (although failed to reach my goals, five years for failing isn't the greatest feeling, but I will be going out for a sport this December and transferring out to another college to pursue it out of state. Wasnt the orignal sport I was after, but still good).
I currently have only about 10 friends on my facebook, and 5 out of state. Out of state ones are one old friend when I was social, the others are random people I meet on the net. The 10 people at my college are old high school people and some seniors (who graduated by the way) that I met due to a guy approaching me. Roommate situation didnt help me, we didn't talk, and the Resident advisor did nothing to encourage socializing in the hall I lived in (moved in there late, no parties etc.)
So, basically I have zero friends at college now again. Everything that could go wrong socially seems to have, lol.
I am going to try to join a few clubs. A dance club that teaches ballroom and salsa dancing. Also a rockclimbing club (don't know if it still exists though), and a magic club (off campus though, but pro magicians).
I will try to befriend my roommates and classmates, and people in clubs. I am going to try to also join a toastmasters club (speaking skills). A friend who I am trying to learn from with women (long story, not important), said I speak in a monotonous voice a good amount of times. Figured that might be a way to fix it.
Im good looking and athletic, just social skills aren't there.
Any advice and help would be apriciative. I could use it. College also seems a little harder to get into social circles after first weeks (Never really tried too hard, just observation).
From,
name
PS: Sort of long, and cant fit every aspect of my life in here, be too long, but I think I gave the general idea of where I came from and situation.
Hi,
I found your site a little while ago, and looked at an "intro" per say on your site. I match what your situation was pretty much to a T. I moved around every two years as an only child. Also, my parents were and still are horrible with socializing with other people. Rarely see them go out. On top of that, the time to learn social skills was screwed by some idea I came up with. On my last move to this state, South Carolina, I made a decision to be very goal oriented and to change all parts of my life. Basically, I became better in school and more focused on sports (better at sports), and learning things I felt I wasnt being taught (various skills, non fiction books). I, however, sacrificed my social life for it. I was a "normal" kid before 8th grade, guess I was tired of being normal for whatever reason.
So, from 8th grade-Freshman year in College, I became super goal oriented and super sacrificing on not socializing to "lesser humans" (my view; didn't like the people in this state at the time, now I see the flaw in that view. Might not have liked everything about them, but still I should have socialized with them some). I saw them as racists at times when I first moved down here (they were at times, and wanted to shut myself off from them). Then I also got a kick out of being a "rebel" to social circles.
Anyways, I see the flaw that I caused. I did benefit though. I got better in school and saw the importance of education. I also got good at sports (although failed to reach my goals, five years for failing isn't the greatest feeling, but I will be going out for a sport this December and transferring out to another college to pursue it out of state. Wasnt the orignal sport I was after, but still good).
I currently have only about 10 friends on my facebook, and 5 out of state. Out of state ones are one old friend when I was social, the others are random people I meet on the net. The 10 people at my college are old high school people and some seniors (who graduated by the way) that I met due to a guy approaching me. Roommate situation didnt help me, we didn't talk, and the Resident advisor did nothing to encourage socializing in the hall I lived in (moved in there late, no parties etc.)
So, basically I have zero friends at college now again. Everything that could go wrong socially seems to have, lol.
I am going to try to join a few clubs. A dance club that teaches ballroom and salsa dancing. Also a rockclimbing club (don't know if it still exists though), and a magic club (off campus though, but pro magicians).
I will try to befriend my roommates and classmates, and people in clubs. I am going to try to also join a toastmasters club (speaking skills). A friend who I am trying to learn from with women (long story, not important), said I speak in a monotonous voice a good amount of times. Figured that might be a way to fix it.
Im good looking and athletic, just social skills aren't there.
Any advice and help would be apriciative. I could use it. College also seems a little harder to get into social circles after first weeks (Never really tried too hard, just observation).
From,
name
PS: Sort of long, and cant fit every aspect of my life in here, be too long, but I think I gave the general idea of where I came from and situation.