S
SeekingToUnderstand
Guest
Hi all,
I'm only just beginning to realise at age 30 that I've been latently agoraphobic probably from about age 11/12 or something so I'm here to seek support I guess.
Does anyone else feel like if they go out they will be judged or ridiculed by others? Like no matter what I wear or what I look like I am odd, weird and strange and other people can see that? Even though I'm considered pretty and dress quite normally.
I also feel like I will freeze on the spot unable to go forward or back, on the way to wherever I'm going and then how will I get myself home? So I stay in.... Like I did today, I was supposed to walk to the local shops (10 min walk) for my parents who aren't well. I got as far as the front door, coat on and all, and just couldn't do it. I felt this overwhelming sense of dread and panic like something bad would happen to me if I went. I was afraid not only that I would freeze on the spot at some point on the way and not be able to pull myself together but that people would be horrid to me and judge me.
My mum just asked me if I would go to the shops for her tomorrow and she firmly believes that I will be fine. I've tried to tell her I don't know how I'll feel, given today, but they don't understand. She is annoyed with me and must think I'm so self centred.
I decided that a strategy would be to take our dog for a walk to get me out. The shops feel too far away right now and I can't take him to those. So after what happened today I decided I would make the shops a goal. I hadn't intended going before I was ready.
Why don't people understand that we can't just switch the panic off? That we have to be gradually exposed and reintroduced to the world that we are so afraid of?
I guess I'm seeking support, validation and likeminded folk.
Good to be here.
I'll register properly in a mo xxx
I'm only just beginning to realise at age 30 that I've been latently agoraphobic probably from about age 11/12 or something so I'm here to seek support I guess.
Does anyone else feel like if they go out they will be judged or ridiculed by others? Like no matter what I wear or what I look like I am odd, weird and strange and other people can see that? Even though I'm considered pretty and dress quite normally.
I also feel like I will freeze on the spot unable to go forward or back, on the way to wherever I'm going and then how will I get myself home? So I stay in.... Like I did today, I was supposed to walk to the local shops (10 min walk) for my parents who aren't well. I got as far as the front door, coat on and all, and just couldn't do it. I felt this overwhelming sense of dread and panic like something bad would happen to me if I went. I was afraid not only that I would freeze on the spot at some point on the way and not be able to pull myself together but that people would be horrid to me and judge me.
My mum just asked me if I would go to the shops for her tomorrow and she firmly believes that I will be fine. I've tried to tell her I don't know how I'll feel, given today, but they don't understand. She is annoyed with me and must think I'm so self centred.
I decided that a strategy would be to take our dog for a walk to get me out. The shops feel too far away right now and I can't take him to those. So after what happened today I decided I would make the shops a goal. I hadn't intended going before I was ready.
Why don't people understand that we can't just switch the panic off? That we have to be gradually exposed and reintroduced to the world that we are so afraid of?
I guess I'm seeking support, validation and likeminded folk.
Good to be here.
I'll register properly in a mo xxx