quitting uni

[dontbeshy]

Whenever i have to attend tutorials i feel this dread in my stomach and sometimes i dont end up going at all, ive missed a whole load of classes already. Im always sitting there unable to concentrate, just on alert for when the teacher is picking students to give answers and its like waiting for the apocalypse or something. I've had times where i just go completely blank, i cannot even say "i dont know" or anything and being in that situation terrifies me. ive read some posts where people say they leave the classroom but ive never even considered that an option - i feel that it would draw too much attention to me! i usually just endure it. i went to see one of my tutors the other day to request that i not have to speak in class (as suggested by a counselor) and when the words came out of my mouth i just burst into tears. he was nice about it though, but it was still awful and im really hav to force myself to see other teachers as well.

The worst part is that I have to give an oral presentation in every subject that i have, and frankly i would rather be hit by a truck. now i can never really relax because its like i have a sword hanging over my head.

I dont think my new uni friends even want me around now. for some reason i just cant talk to people, i feel i can never be myself. i cant think of anything to say or feel that it will come out wrong. Today when i was with them, i think i said about 10 words. I really did try to meet some new people at the beginning when uni started cos i tried to tell myself maybe i just havent met people i have things in common with, but this keeps happening - i close up inside myself and its really frustrating. Sometimes i'd feel some anxiety around them but other times, its just this perpetual blank nothingness, numb. i kind of want to explain to them about SA but im not sure how to start.

i think i should take a break from uni. but i dunno wat to do if i quit, im really scared. i have until march 31st to decide.

anyway this seems really long, sorry for rambling.

 

[JWH]

Don't give up unless it's absolutely necessary. I've had the emotional low points where I've gone crying to tutors and lecturers, begging them to give me an exemption from a failed core subject. So I'm sure you're not the only one.

Anyway, I've finished with uni now and doing some casual tutoring. Just try to realise that at uni, no one really worries about you. I've got very few friends still, but I feel comfortable being around uni on my own because there are plenty of people just in your position. Also from the perspective of a tutor, even in a computer lab subject I can say that there are plenty of people nervous about asking for help or having to talk.

Take a break, yeah. Don't let uni go completely or you may not have the chance again.

 

[annie]

Hi dontbeshy,

Never apologise for rambling....if you are going to ramble, this is the place to do it :wink:
I see you are from Australia, which state if you don't mind me asking?
Uni can be tough on students at the best of times, let alone when you have social anxiety. Do you think there are any students/friends that you could confide to. You will be amazed at how many other people probably have similar problems....think about it.

I work with alot of students and half of them have an anxiety disorder due to various reasons.

Like JWH said: Don't give up unless it's absolutely necessary.
Can you discuss it with any of your lecturers and perhaps they might have some suggestions or advice for you.

Good luck!

annie

 

[Dedication]

Hey, Dontbeshy...it would be tragic if you quit university. Before you decide definitely talk to all your tutors and profs and let them know what's going on. I think for the most part they should be understanding. Ask them if there's a way to substitute the oral presentations with something written...or perhaps you could just give your oral presentation to the prof instead of the entire class. If that still doesn't work then perhaps you can just drop one or two courses instead of quitting all together. It might be an instant relief to quit but I think you'd regret it later. Try to hang in there

 

[Hamble]

Think about it this way, once you've grabbed your degree, you can run a hundred miles and never see anyone from uni ever again, and delete all the cringe-worthy experiences from your mind. All you'll be left with is a sparkling qualification which will majorly help you out in life. :wink:

 

[maggie]

I used to feel the same way in school, would skip any day that involved speeches, presentations, anything involving talking in front of class. I quit college because of that, and now I won't even take a night class at local college for fear we may have to introduce ourselves and speak. Feel like I will get nowhere, not because I am incapable of the work, but cause of the SP. One time in english class, a teacher called on me for an answer, really startled me, my mouth opened, and my gum fell on the floor!!!!!!! :roll: everybody else had a good laugh, I was mortified!

 

[Chilling__Echo]

hey don'tbeshy, i can relate to every word you said. my senior year in high school that's all i felt, i'd go home everyday so tense and i'd dread the next day. stay in college, it gets better after a while, i'm surprises your teachers do that. i don't have to do that here, it's nothing like high school. but the higher grade you go, it's not so much about class participation than actually knowing and studying the material, stick with it and you won't regret it

 

[dontbeshy]

hi, thanks for your replies...Yea i don't really want to drop out cos of SA. i've been to see the coordinator who says i can just take 2 subjects instead of 4 if that's easier which is probab;y what i'll do. well i've got to decide something tomorrow :?

To annie- I'm in vic

 

[JWH]

Good for you. Part time is better than nothing.

I only did three subjects in my final semester. Admittedly they were three large subjects and I was still full time, but I only had to go to uni for 2 1/2 hrs a week! Also try the summer/winter subjects if you can handle them. I've done several at a maximum of 2 weeks. One was only 5 days!

 

[UnbreakableShell]

I get all anxious, nervous and all just when I have to SAY MY NAME to the whole class. Like attendance, or a small introduction to new classes. I get shortage of breath when I would have to read aloud, and then I would stutter because I am so nevous. I can't even talk fluently. \

Even when I am casually talking to friends/co workers, sometimes I would mumble, they would be like "what did you say??"

I'm thinking of just finishing high school, and not go to college because of this problem. :x

 

[dan246]

UbreakableShell, I don't think this is a good reason not to go to college. Like Chilling_Echo said, it is MUCH different out of high school. At least as far as Canadian/American schools go. I have not had to say my name once since I've been here at school. I've never had to read aloud and for the most part I've avoided presentations. You can go to a local college if you prefer not to stay in residence which I will admit was quite a challenge. I mumble all of the time. The past year I've forced myself to speak loud and clearly. It gets easier after a while. I still end up repeating myself quite frequently. A good tip is that the larger the college/university is, the larger your classes tend to be. Only 1 TA actually knows me by name. The rest only see my grades and my name on paper. Also remember you can pick your own classes. You don't have to take classes that you think will require a presentation. And even if you do need them for your major, you can always put them off for a year or two until you feel more confident.

I also want to share my greatest moment in high school. Well, maybe not the greatest but pretty damn cool. My SA started surfacing junior year. By senior year I was only comfortable talking in a few classes. One class I HATED was English. We were forced to present at least one poem during each semester, and we had a couple presentations too. I always seemed to avoid reading parts in plays out loud until last semester. We would raise our hands for parts and I would simply not volunteer. Then there was a part no one wanted to read so my teacher asked me to read it. I just told him I don't want to. Before he could respond I kind of snapped and blurted out "I don't care, I mean you can give me a zero for participation, you can even send me to the office, but I really don't want to read. I'm the only kid in class with a notebook full of notes (I held up my notes) and I really prefer not to read aloud." He was shocked. He was a pretty cool teacher and just kind of looked around the room and smiled, everyone else was amazed that I actually stood up for myself. It was a small HS so everyone knew me and they all knew I got kind of shy the last couple of years. After class kids came up to me in the hall and said "Dude, that was so sweet. I can't believe you just told him off." This teacher, while really cool most of the time, doesn't like confrontation. He likes to have all control. I don't know why he was so cool about it but it felt GREAT! I haven't had any of those moments since then and I don't think I ever will. I just had to share my 5 minutes of fame. Teachers can't make you participate. If you do your work and try and learn in class, you should find them to be very respectful if you politely say you would prefer not to read. Anyway, that was kind of long but it was worth it. Ahhh, good memories. (Too bad a few seconds after I stopped saying all of that and realized the attention I drew to myself, I had a small anxiety attack that I tried to hide) 8O