Rock Bottom, help me climb my way out.

ReVeR

Member
So recently I've had many problems going on, I'm Worried about
my future, I was arrested a few months ago and for punishment I was put on probation, I am to complete 80 hrs of community service pay my $5 ,000 fine, and stay in school. But lately I clearly noticed its going to be toughest sturggle ill have to live through.

1. school- I'm so anxious I cant do hw longer thn 20 min,
I fail to complete my work I havent done any hw for about 2 months.
I don't know how im still in school (guess my teacher is just being nice)
beacuse im supose to turn in 2 pakect of work a week to stay enrolled.
I've only truned in 1 this month (should have 4 by now).
I'm on the edge of getting kicked form that school, If I do get kicked out,
it will count as a probation violation, which will give the state the right to take the very few rights that I have left and put me behind bars
I'm about to turn 18 so its not juvi ill be headed to.

2.Community Service- I was doing this at the local chruch
(only got 18 hrs done) before i was told that they couldnt give me any other work, I think its because I mentioned I wasn't religious and I was always nervous, at times they thought I was up to something and would watch me closely which maid me explode inside my head. Nowi cant complete my service for free it cost $75 to do it with the city.
And those $75 lead to my next problem.

3.Money- I was told i was to start paying my fine 2 months ago,
they wanted at least $100 per month ( I haven't even held $20 in the past 4 months! ) Its impossible for me to get a job. My parents dont have that type of money. In fact they are planning on moving back to Mexico cause we cant make it here. I have no resources for cash. What am I to do?

I feel like its SAD, its my curse, I fail to live a normal life cause of this, I cant even pay for my mistakes cause of it.

i recently went to my doctor and he prescribed lexapro and diazepan to help me but that doesn't solve my problems really.

All this shit just makes me wanna commit more crimes and rob banks n things of such. I have a feeling I'm not gonna be able to complete any of it within 2 months which is my deadline.
and if I get arrested what am i to do from there?
I'm afraid if i go in i wont come out either alive or for a very long time.

I'm ready to leave this planet, fuck this Earth send me to another,
I hate it here goddammit!! :twisted:

So please somebody help me, give me a guide or something I would really appreciate it
 

sadeyedgirl

New member
i say go on your knees and pray to God.

seriously!!

"I sought the Lord, and He heard me." psalm 34. 4
"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" 1 peter 4:13
 

monkeyisland90

Active member
Yeah you definately should pray.. (i know easier said then done especially with the whole world on your shoulders).. I can relate to you because i kind of hit rock bottom also when i got arrested last year.. So don't think i don't know what it feels like because lot of other stuff happened before the arrest that i'm not proud of and I feel I did all that because being lonely guy and financially struggling, confused and being at end of my rope.. I ended up going to this really modern type of church and got into reading the bible and praying and everyday is still a struggle but it puts lot of stuff what the world throws at you in perspective. If you want i can send you some links on some good sites that you can start listening to messages.
 

Sacrament

Well-known member
sadeyedgirl said:
i say go on your knees and pray to God.

seriously!!

"I sought the Lord, and He heard me." psalm 34. 4
"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" 1 peter 4:13

I giggled.
 

cosmosis

Well-known member
Why is it that when people are at their weakest point they try to shove down the religious shit? The guy even said he wasn't religious in his post. Sheeesh.

I would say just give it your best shot and don't do anything extra to make it worse. You are only 17, they are probably trying to scare you and freak you out in order to keep you in line. Just do what you can do and accept the ultimate outcome - which is probably not nearly as bad as you think if you are on probation right now. When this is all over, start your life out fresh.
 
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