self betrayal

[justejust]

For example, you are shy and are used to speak quietly and slowly, and suddenly something happens(maybe just a very happy day) and you start to talk loudly, much, to laugh, to speak nonsenses and it suppose to be good, but... don't you feel you betray yourself???

 

[buty]

maybe...

Maybe it'll depend on what we think about.
to me, I feel i betray myself and others.
for example, when i meet ones who do I feel uncomfortable
I treat them using a metaphor I feel like i'm wearing a suit. :?
and when i meet my friends, I'm wearing a casual clothes.
I don't like this so I'm trying to change my shyness.

 

[shyandnumb]

I did not see it as a act of betrayal but more like expressing another part of youself, the optimistic side. You only feel betrayal for yourself and others when you hide it behind SP to block it from the view of others. Personally, I like to let this part out once in a while and try to express it in its truest form by beimg hopeful, instead of thinking negative thoughts and always listening to my doubts.

 

[redlady]

For example, you are shy and are used to speak quietly and slowly, and suddenly something happens(maybe just a very happy day) and you start to talk loudly, much, to laugh, to speak nonsenses and it suppose to be good, but... don't you feel you betray yourself???

I understand what you are saying - it feels like a betrayal of your TRUE and REAL nature to act that way. It feels like you are being fake. You just get so used to feeling / being a certain way that acting any other way seems almost unnatural. But it's not you know, i'm sure you do - there is more to us than just our despair - it is just for some it takes a bit more to coax it out of.

 

[magda74]

To me having Sp is a betrayal to myself. All the times I wanted to speak up, or try something or get to know someone, but I couldn't. I almost always feel like my thoughts and actions are different from eachother. It's hard to explain but I really don't feel shy at all, just overly fearful, which ends up making me timid.

I do get what you mean tho. The really good days where I'm louder and jokey and acquantances will make comments like 'what's gotten into you today'. I end up feeling like very few people really know me, only me to blame for that.

By the way welcome.

 

[Tanya_S]

no but i often feel that i betray other people with sp. sometimes..i feel..guilty for being content..knowing that so many other people that i care about are suffering..on one level i want to enjoy it because i can and it seems criminal not to..and on the other hand..i know that..others are suffering..sometimes i feel that i have let certain people down by moving on..but i still care and understand..and..good days are few and far between sometimes..for myself..i sometimes think i confuse people who know im sp (most people who know me know i am) when i have a good day!

yes thats exactly how i feel too. i feel bad that the other ppl who are shy aren't able to enjoy what i am enjoying, but in my case it also is true that once i do get to know ppl well enough i am not shy at all i am just merely scared...

 

[bluenow]

Yes - I have done that and felt that quite a few times. It's not me, not even slightly. I hate that!
The worst was meeting a guy while I was acting unlike my true self. Then going on the date and hardly uttering a word because I knew he thought I was somebody that I wasn't - UGH!

 

[Sean]

I never thought of that as betrayal. I know that is the real me. It is the part of me that has been smothered by my shyness. To me it is a good sign I'm making the right steps on overcoming my shyness. In my opinion, some of you that think it seems like you're being fake is just the fact you are used to being shy or social phobic. I would try to remember what that day felt like and try to be that way everyday. You are just uncomfortable about being more outgoing because it is unfamiliar to you. I know that during those days I actually love and enjoy life, and not feel like I betrayed myself. If you feel like you're betraying other shy people...don't. Having you stay shy won't help them. What would is showing that part of you more often and help them feel that way.