self-esteem

[Soulspectre]

hey, I'm kind of new here and I've been posting alot lately about different topics that I think might help. Here's another one that I'm interested in hearing from the SA community about. Do you think that the answer to all of our problems is just self-esteem? I mean I hear it all the time, but I've never been too sure about it. It seems that if we just have the right amount of self-esteem in can drive us to power over this crippling phobia. We all are always worried about the way we are judged by others, and I'm starting to think that the only real reason it can possibly be is because we see ourselves as beneath others in one way or another(plenty in my case). I've been trying all sorts of different techniques to overcome this, I've been an SA sufferer now for about 6-7 years and the self-esteem thing seems to make alot of sense. I've always felt that I was different and terrifed to expose myself to people who might be critical of it. Which again brings us back to our feelings of being low and feeling like shit. The hardest thing is that I know who I "Really" am and I actually like myself, but it's hard to put that into an everyday social situation. I think I'm going to really try hard to raise my self-worth and value more and maybe that will help me along. Honestly, even writing this post is a little unnerving for me because I become so critical of myself with my writing but I think that all ties in to (Say it with me) my Self-esteem. But really please comment and tell me what your thoughts about this are.

 

[eso]

it does make a huge difference. I guess confidence and self-esteem go hand in hand, and one of the major reasons I helped myself was increasing these things.

I always thought I was ugly and since I am a racial minority I also thought I wasn't as 'good' as most other people out there in all ways. But after I proved to myself that I was attractive... well let's be honest I'm not the most attractive person in the world, but I cleaned myself up. I also lost weight. I put a smile on my face all the time, I challenged my core beliefs.

After doing this I found out girls really started taking a liking to me. When this happened it was a huge impact on me. It shattered my perception of who I thought I was. I wasn't this ugly, lonely dude. I was likeable and attractive.. the proof was right there, people were putting value on my presence and showing me affection. That's what turned my self-esteem up and it's like momentum.. the instant you get a bunch of it, you start getting more and more confident and more successful when talking to people. Then it really takes off and you just feel like a new person, free and definitely not as afraid as before.

Yeah self esteem makes a difference, the issue is figuring out how to get it. I pushed myself out into the world, forced myself to talk to people and be outgoing, and that was super scary but it worked. I'm still really shy and all but nowhere near as bad as I used to be. And the self-esteem stuck. I now believe in myself a lot more, that core belief changed permanently even though I gained the weight back and stopped dressing up nicely.