Silliest avoidance strategy ever

[buddleia]

I'm 37 and just got diagnosed with social anxiety phobia.

Last week I had to run a two-day workshop, to my horror. After a week of shambolic preparation in which I fervently contemplated suicide as a way out, or prayed for a terrorist attack to disrupt proceedings, I finally had enough material for the first day. Which went brilliantly.

Too tired by now (after nights of not sleeping, and a bit of self-dosing with Valium or something similar) to prepare properly for the second day, I endured it, but at around midday became so convinced that it was going terribly that ...

... I got my 39-week pregnant wife to ring in and say she was having contractions so I could do a runner.

Now of course I hate myself for this behaviour, and I convinced that people at work have twigged, and can't look anyone in the face.

Can anyone top this?

 

[Richey]

I have done some extreme avoiding, shamed to say it but its true ..

i bail out of parties at the last minute by saying i have another important party to attend just to get out of it early ..

why do i do it this way? well its dishonest i'll give you that but with my friends ive tried the honest way and guess what's happened doing it that way

i bluntly said "no i dont feel like going out tonight" to a friend who was keen on going out with 2 other people to play snooker and drinks, all that jazz, so my friend then got his friend to call me and demand i come out...all i got in return was "why?" .."why"? ..."why" .."you have to".."you have to" ...

i had to study this night so i just said no ...

my friends are fairly controlling like this ..

at around 11:30 that night he drives around, parks the car in the driveway with the 2 other friends and they get out ...

they knock on the door and with my sister and parents sitting in the lounge start playing games and shout "why dont you want to come out" i say "you know why, we'll make it another night", then its "we arnt going unless you come" .."either you come out now or i;m not talking to you ever again" ...


they then go and sit in the car and wait the knock on the door again and my parents clearly realise something is suss ...while im sticking to my guns saying i have to study, which i did ...

they finally drive away and go back home, about 5 minutes later the phone rings i answer, its a prank call ...anothe rprank call, another prank call ...and so forth and so forth, for around 2 hours. ..

i knew it was them ...

very childish behaviour like that ..


i'm not suggesting everybody is going to act like that but, i'd much rather lie from now on and say im going somewhere rather then being honest, that way i wont have experiances like that from being honest ..

it has to be a special friend who understands my problems and would accept the fact i'd need to leave early for me to be honest about it in a social situation, like a party ..

people who i know are going to agrovate me i'll make an excuse to ..

not sure if thats clear but thats pretty extreme avoiding

i'd much rather say "ive had enough i'm leaving now" but i know with certain people i'll get hounded for it, and really its because they want me to stay ..but i'd just rather leave without all that baggage or hassle

 

[lunarskye]

I think mine is pretty bad. My SP got so bad I quit the last yr of high school. We moved to a new town and I decided I had enough of being the new kid. I didnt want to see all the kids being happy about all the cool senior things they'd be doing. So I avioded it altogether and got my GED instead.
Some might think thats the easy way out but you try being the new kid in 11th grade and trying to make friends with people you dont know and getting dirty looks from people when you try to sit at their table and make small talk. At the end i gave up and sat alone in the cafeteria for a whole year and had no friends what so ever...

 

[Pyrophosphate]

Some might think thats the easy way out but you try being the new kid in 11th grade and trying to make friends with people you dont know and getting dirty looks from people when you try to sit at their table and make small talk. At the end i gave up and sat alone in the cafeteria for a whole year and had no friends what so ever...

That happened to me in 4th, 6th, 8th and 9th grades. I think you took the easy way out. A lot can happen in a little bit of time. Two months ago, the words "social anxiety disorder" would have meant nothing to me, but now I'm half way done with getting rid of it... but that's just me talking.

Getting back on topic, I used to lie to my friend to not have to do things with him, but I started to feel guilty about it. Instead I just delay until he gets bored of asking.

 

[shield]

I vomitted all over myself in a car so that I wouldn't have to get out and go to a restaurant for a familly meal. :lol:

 

[ripewithdecay]

Problem is i never really have a strategy because sometimes an old friend or someone i just met will call me out of the blue and be like "hey, what are you doing?" which ill just say... "oh.....nothing really" then the pressure comes "you should come do [insert activity]"...and then ill feel the shock of it and be like "ummmmmmmmmmmm.............."
"i....can't"
then they'll act appalled "What? Why ?!?!"
"I have to....... go to work!"
"At 9 in the evening ??!?!"
"Errr......yeah, its a weird shift."
"but i thought you worked 8-4 every day"
"yeah but i got this new part time job now..."
"oh yeah, where at?"
"umm..... its......... some pub thats open late..."

Basically ill just make up and excuse for every excuse and so on until they finally give up and just accept it. Sometimes they'll say something like "Come on man don't ditch out on me!" and ill just respond with a short laugh and be like "Sorry.."

I really feel terrible but relieved at the same time when I do this. It sucks.

 

[noblame4]

I vomitted all over myself in a car so that I wouldn't have to get out and go to a restaurant for a familly meal. :lol:

Whoa, you get a gold star from noblame for hard-ass avoidance!

Me? Well, when I was a senior in highschool, there was a feild trip for seniors called 'the senior picknick'. They loaded up all the seniors on a bus and took them to a camp ground for the whole school day for swimming and a cook-out. I couldnt bare the thought of that, so I asked to go to the bathroom during the debriefing and hid under a bush in the courtyard for about an hour untill the other kids got on the bus and left(that's my thing. When the anxiety gets the best of me, I bolt). I spent the whole day reading alone in the library, an uncommonly comfortable schoolday.

When the seniors got back, I got in a lot of trouble. The principal yelled at me, because when I didnt make the end of day roll call, everyone had to go out and look for me. The vice principal was a nice man and he could see I had a problem and was nice to me all the time. When the principal left, he talked to me calmly about it, saying how if I didnt want to go, I could have talked to him about it instead of skipping it (I omitted the crouching miserably under a bush all morning part) because he was worried I got kidnapped or something. I was sorry I inconvienced him, but I wasnt sorry I skipped the trip. Christ, that would have been miserable!

 

[hippiechild]

Awesome story noblame. Hiding under a bush is pretty hardcore!

I would often skip gym class by sneaking outside when teachers were delivering papers between buildings. I'd grab the door while it was still open and make my escape. Usually just went to a big field and relaxed until the class was over. It wasn't even due to lacking athleticism, I just couldn't stand the social interaction and potential for embarrassment that gym brought.
I even would try to make it seem more justified by doing hundreds of pushups and situps.

 

[proudmummy]

Ummmm.... I have made excuses for as long as I remember....

Having been pregnant and had a baby I have more excuses to stay in than ever before lol.

I'd always stitch people up or generally make excuses not go somewhere.

For example, just in this week I have texted last-minute to someone who was going to come round for lunch saying I was really, really tired because my baby had kept me up all night.

I have also this week avoided contacting about three friends who I'd said I'd meet with soon.

I have also twice this week not even stepped out the door by saying to people I have housework etc when I have hardly done anything but sit an feel sorry for myself. Even setted up the most depressing internet blog EVER.

I have plans tonight (a couple coming over for drinks + takeaway) and I can't tell you how tempted I am to text them saying I'm ill.

What excuses have you done this week?

 

[Lonelykitsune]

I use period pain as an excuse to gt out of anything,and ven though i reall really hat vomiting i might force myself to be sick to avoid something

 

[Noca]

wow! things we do to avoid anxiety provoking situations...

I once hid in a stairwell at church, and when someone would pass me going up ill pretend to walk down the stairs, and when someone was going down the stairs, id pretend to go up the stairs just so i could hide in the stairwell lol.

 

[Harleyq]

The front door at my house is surrounded by floor-length windows which my dad likes to keep open to let some light into the room. One time the doorbell rang when I was home alone and I had to pass by both windows. I dropped to my belly and shimmied across the windows like a soldier at war.

 

[agoraphobickatie]

NICE, harleyq! haha..
when i did used to be able to go places and hang out, i'd ALWAYS have an exit strategy planned JUST in case i felt sick or anxious or really wanted to leave... if there was a party or bonfire to go to or my friends were planning on going to the bar, i'd put some work in thinking about how i could leave without looking/sounding retarded/obvious before i ever even left to attend the event, haha.. i would make up a call from my friend saying she desperately needed someone to hang out with/talk to, i'd make up another party i said i'd go to, all kinds of shit, haha...

and the high school thing, i dropped out of high school and got my GED and was enrolled in college courses before my friends at school even graduated, haha.. i just REALLY hated school, i hated the rules, i hated the trouble making thugs, i hated the teachers, i hated how it was WAY overcrowded... the public school system in my area is for SHIT! haha, teachers were more concerned about keeping lock down and your dress code than teaching you anything, lol.. i'm bad about work, though, too.. i've just always been that way i don't know if it's been my panic attacks/anxiety or not, but i'm well known for making up bs excuses and calling in to work! haha ::

making any commitment/plans to do anything is pretty hard when you have SA or panic disorder, haha.. because then you have LOTS of time to worry yourself nuts before you ever even do what was planned..

 

[redski]

I am ashamed of myself for this as I have never told anyone.
SA means that I am not good at hitting clubs and dancing, no way man.
I started smoking because I thought to myself I could be one of those
cool guys smoking sitting at the bar with a glass of whiskey NOT dancing.
Needless to say that is why I started smoking and smoked for almost 5
years before I quit.
Hehe

 

[5020]

I find the simple lies, that slightly put you in the shit are the best. Like once i said i just got home and fell asleep and my phone was off. People sorta doubt it, but realise it happens so sorta except it. I find family issues are always a good get out clause. I have just not turned up, like for a presentation and just rather bare the brunt of people not liking me for copping out, rather then having to do it.

 

[Off The Wall]

The front door at my house is surrounded by floor-length windows which my dad likes to keep open to let some light into the room. One time the doorbell rang when I was home alone and I had to pass by both windows. I dropped to my belly and shimmied across the windows like a soldier at war.

LMAO! i love this, the way you called it "shimmied" just makes it so much funnier, i can just picture it.. ahh nice work!


The last time the doorbell rang for me and i didn't answer it, it rang 20 times if not more, by the end of it i was like fine i'll go answer, so i changed cause i was in my pj's and was going to answer they door but they went away, next thing i hear the side gate opening i'm like wtf? must be my bro's friends, then i hear the window going sounds like it's breaking.. i'm like oh my god what the hell... so i open up the blind.. and their faces were like and they ran.. turns out they were actually trying to break in haha. I answered every time after that lol.

 

[FountainandFairfax]

I used to make my younger brother go to the door if I called for pizza. Looking back on it, I should have been tipping both of them. Ha Ha

 

[jmroszczak]

Theres so many stories I could tell but I will just tell one...forgive me if anyone has already said this ..I am too lazy too read the 2nd page ::

Ok onetime my Older brother had a GF who lived across the street from us. And his GF has a sis who was like my age...ANYWAYS My older bro like NEVER brought home is GF's..not EVER! He was like 23 then..I was like 18 or so..and Oneday He just like out of the blue went up too the new neighbor and started talking too her(I could NEVER do that btw) and long story short they became gf/bf...OK so they were getting like pretty serious and She had a daughter..and my brother started like bringing her over the house..My mom fell inlove with the little 2yo..I will admit she was pretty cute :: ..

OK so like before I keep dragging on eventually His GF started coming over..and It was weird at first because My brother never had brought a girl over before to the family..but yeah I just Hid My SA cos I didn't wanna seem like a freak to her...So she would come over more and more..and she would tell us about her family..and how she had a sister my age..and that she some times stayed at her place on weekends and what not..*Oh JOY* so yeah one night Her sister just came over out of the blue..and I ran Up stairs To take a bath...That was the way I hid When Company ever came over...

WELL she came over and was talking to my little brother..and my mom for like the whole night..OMG i could hear everything they were saying..and I just knew that My older brother Told her about me and about how I never had a gf and all that..OMG so I just stayed in that bathtub for like the whole time she was there..they were all watching tv and talking..I think at one point she said she was going to the mall later and wanted too see if i wanted too go...I was in that tub for like 4 freakin hours Fake sleepin...OMG the water was so freakin cold and I was SO wrinkled!! I heard my mom tell her that I fall asleep in the tub sometimes..But my little brother(the little sh1t!) knew i hid in the tub and faked sleep when ever anyone came over...and he told her that!!! omg!!! I heard the girl say "is HE STILL IN THAT TUB??? THAT WATER MUST BE COLD! LOL" GOD... I was mortified...

So like the next day My brothers GF comes over and she didnt even knock..she was like "helloooo" I was sitting in my underwear on the couch in dark watchin tv...and I tried to run upstairs Before she came up to the living room..But she caught me..so I tried to play it off like "oh i thought you were the maintenance guy" ..Then I'm sitting in my underwear with my brothers GF ..In the dark...No tv on cos I turned it off right when i heard the door open..and she said she needed help moving something in her house...and I was like..umm ok..we talked a little bit more ..dont remember what we talked about..I just was hoping she didnt bring up the incident with her sis....Anyways I get up too put some clothes on..then go back to sit on couch..My mom comes home..which btw I was SO happy..I goto get a soda from the fridge and my brothers GF followed me..and then she was like..Oh so I heard you didnt want to talk to my sister last night..and i was like "what..noooo I was sleeping..." and she was like "Yeah ok Justin..Its Ok..I know you dont like girls..." :: I was SO embarrassed

 

[Harleyq]

jmroszczak:

That would have really annoyed me. I don't care how close you are to one family member, you don't just barge right into their home. And then she had the nerve to "joke" that you don't like girls? I don't know, just seems a little tactless to me.

One of my old friends did that. I remember she just walked right on in and then helped herself to our fridge. WTF? I've also had a couple of friends who, if I didn't answer the door, would peer through the cracks in the window blinds to see if I was home - and one of the blinds in my room was warped so you could see into it.

 

[jmroszczak]

I know!! I would never walk into someones home like that..To this day I cant believe she did it..maybe cos my brother told her to go in or something...I'm not sure though..He didn't show up until like 30mins after her tho

Oh and as to that Blind comment I can so totally relate too that..When I was younger and actually had friends..If I was sleeping or something and didnt answer the door..they would actually go around back to the bedroom I was in and just knock on the window....grrrrrr

ALSO I had another friend growing up who would like just come over unannounced O.O..I swear like one xmas I told him he could sleep over my house the next christmas(not actually thinking he would remember a year from now!!) and OMG I hadn't talked to him in like almost a year...cos this was right around the time I started to recluse...ANYWAYS wouldnt ya know it..He actually came over..Unannounced ON christmas Day..with his change of clothes and all..His mom dropped him off..This was when i was 16 or 17 or so...