SO angry with myself

[Luka]

Ugh, I wasn't always like this. Yes, I was always shy but around my friends I was perfectly fine and I always felt like myself. Now, I feel like I'm being suffocated by social anxiety and I don't even know who I am anymore?

I just wish I could go back to being me, I was a lot more confident and I didn't think that every person on this planet thought I was weird, too shy, etc. Although, they probably do think that anyways.

I wish there was a miracle cure for sa because right now I'm a teenager (16 years) and I really want to experience what most sixteen year olds do (excluding the drugs, etc). I feel like a freak and a hermit and it's not just hurting my "social life" but my education too. It would be nice to just not feel nervous/anxious everyday, is that too much to ask?

 

[ukmale]

Ugh, I wasn't always like this. Yes, I was always shy but around my friends I was perfectly fine and I always felt like myself. Now, I feel like I'm being suffocated by social anxiety and I don't even know who I am anymore?

I just wish I could go back to being me, I was a lot more confident and I didn't think that every person on this planet thought I was weird, too shy, etc. Although, they probably do think that anyways.

I wish there was a miracle cure for sa because right now I'm a teenager (16 years) and I really want to experience what most sixteen year olds do (excluding the drugs, etc). I feel like a freak and a hermit and it's not just hurting my "social life" but my education too. It would be nice to just not feel nervous/anxious everyday, is that too much to ask?

Dude believe me I bloody know your pain

I was a great loud fun out going guy I had friends I was having flying lessons I was going to go off to uni go for a lads holiday go off to oz for a working holiday and join the French legion for 5years then move and live in OZ that was my dreams my goals in life I was going out night clubbing with friends I was out going loud funny fun loving the wild one I enjoyed life i was living life I was on bloody top of the world I felt like a million dollers and I was having fun


When all of a sudden my world fall apart I am now 99% of my time bedroom bound I am angry and bitter at this world and most people twice as much as hitler hated the Jews I am always down in bed to tired or low to get out to shower to get dressed I get up mum bangs in door gives me my dinner I sit and watch tv shows or watch movies or play games I don't talk to anyone I can go up to 9months straight without going out side today I have to go to the dentist for a check up .. I have lost all my friends my family hate me and think I am lazy I was going to be do so much I went to a private dyslexic school so my family think I am a waste of bloody money doing nothing staying in bed all day playing games

I have not been on a bus or walked to the shops by myself in years I am 24 years old and I have been stuck here for years .. I am being forced to live like this the world may be like this not me

I am going to spend the rest of my life alone and stuck in my bedroom I am a shell of a man I don't talk to people on the phone or on the door what's the point I don't go outside what's the point ..... This is not a live I don't wish this on any body but sadly it will never change for me I am here till I die ...... So dude I feel your pain I truly do

 

[lonelee1]

ah, i know how you feel. my advice would be to nip it in the bud and really try hard to get out of this.

i've had s.a. for many years. i remember a time when it wasn't so bad, around 13-17 years old. if i had known i'd end up where i am today with my anxiety, i would've tried hard to change my thinking patterns early on and try to talk to more people.

maybe join a club or try an extracurricular activity. talk to your parents or a counselor if you can too.

i hope you feel better.

 

[Luka]

Don't worry so much. Most everything 16-year-olds do is not very interesting. When I was that age, I was always looking for something to get into.

Nowadays, they're mostly texting each other, "I'm bored." I've learned this from my two nephews who constantly spam that on facebook. =P

Maybe, you should brainstorm some things you'd enjoy doing and invite just a friend or two to go with you. Less people, less stress.

That's true.

But I would but I have to work up the courage to invite my friends. :sad:

 

[Luka]

Dude believe me I bloody know your pain

I was a great loud fun out going guy I had friends I was having flying lessons I was going to go off to uni go for a lads holiday go off to oz for a working holiday and join the French legion for 5years then move and live in OZ that was my dreams my goals in life I was going out night clubbing with friends I was out going loud funny fun loving the wild one I enjoyed life i was living life I was on bloody top of the world I felt like a million dollers and I was having fun


When all of a sudden my world fall apart I am now 99% of my time bedroom bound I am angry and bitter at this world and most people twice as much as hitler hated the Jews I am always down in bed to tired or low to get out to shower to get dressed I get up mum bangs in door gives me my dinner I sit and watch tv shows or watch movies or play games I don't talk to anyone I can go up to 9months straight without going out side today I have to go to the dentist for a check up .. I have lost all my friends my family hate me and think I am lazy I was going to be do so much I went to a private dyslexic school so my family think I am a waste of bloody money doing nothing staying in bed all day playing games

I have not been on a bus or walked to the shops by myself in years I am 24 years old and I have been stuck here for years .. I am being forced to live like this the world may be like this not me

I am going to spend the rest of my life alone and stuck in my bedroom I am a shell of a man I don't talk to people on the phone or on the door what's the point I don't go outside what's the point ..... This is not a live I don't wish this on any body but sadly it will never change for me I am here till I die ...... So dude I feel your pain I truly do

That sucks It looks like we both need to break out of our shells and start trying to get rid of this sa then. ._.

 

[Luka]

ah, i know how you feel. my advice would be to nip it in the bud and really try hard to get out of this.

i've had s.a. for many years. i remember a time when it wasn't so bad, around 13-17 years old. if i had known i'd end up where i am today with my anxiety, i would've tried hard to change my thinking patterns early on and try to talk to more people.

maybe join a club or try an extracurricular activity. talk to your parents or a counselor if you can too.

i hope you feel better.

Thank you

I used to do a ton of extracurricular activities when I was little but I lost interest in pretty much everything and I can't see myself being around new people at this moment.

 

[ukmale]

sure does look like that way .. but sadly we try we go a few steps forward then you end up back at square 1 again but I do believe we can fight it .you might have the better chance as you are so much younger than me I so wish I could turn back time and changed my life there and then its hard but it can be beaten only if you really want it to ... It's all about small baby steps taking your time setting yourself small goals and sticking with them maybe joining some clubs groups ect going for daily walks it takes time but only truly if you want it bad enough will it become reality ... Wish you the very best of luck hunny

 

[paintedblue]

Ugh, I wasn't always like this. Yes, I was always shy but around my friends I was perfectly fine and I always felt like myself. Now, I feel like I'm being suffocated by social anxiety and I don't even know who I am anymore?

I just wish I could go back to being me, I was a lot more confident and I didn't think that every person on this planet thought I was weird, too shy, etc. Although, they probably do think that anyways.

I wish there was a miracle cure for sa because right now I'm a teenager (16 years) and I really want to experience what most sixteen year olds do (excluding the drugs, etc). I feel like a freak and a hermit and it's not just hurting my "social life" but my education too. It would be nice to just not feel nervous/anxious everyday, is that too much to ask?

I was sort of like this when I was 16. Looking back I think it was because i just put too much weight on what other people might think of me. I would be shy and anxious because I might say the wrong thing or do something stupid and people would judge me, and that would hurt me, and so i treated carefully and lived anxiously all the time watching myself as not to make a "mistake." It was a defence mechanism for an already low and vulnerable self esteem. But the result was a very shy and reserved person that most people tended to stay away from.

 

[ForeverTheWeirdKid]

I know how you feel, I wanted to dance, let loose and be silly at times at your age but people were so quick to judge. You cant care what people think of you because they'll judge you anyway. Thats all they can do. Deep down in side their really insecure and afraid to be who they are.