So hum, what does socializing mean?

[DarkSeeker]

I must say I'm at lost here. I keep hearing people talking about socializing and being social and going to social events, but I was never concretely explained what any of this mean.

According to one of the 2 monsters who brought me into this world of pain, well "according" as he can't explain anything clearly or explicit, but I think he tried to pass on me the message that talking to people is a game where you have to play the game, which probably means coming from him that you have to act like a narcissistic hypocrite, and suck people's soul using the gravity of your massive ego just like with a black hole and also by faking caring for them to get favors.

I think there's a whole lot of people just like that, but I always thought that interacting with others was meant to be something more deeper on an emotional level, but from where I come everyone's very afraid of emotions and are very shallow and infantile.

Certainly socializing can't be this nightmare. How can they possibly get fun out of acting fake and like sociopaths? Except maybe by crushing other people who got more of a something than them, but jealousy can't be healthy.

Also does any of you feel like they never had any conversation with anybody in their life. I don't call standing there nodding at the every word of a tyrant's life story repeating itself over and over like a broken record having a conversation with someone. I think I could count the number of almost real conversations I had in my life in the fingers of one hand, maybe two if you push it.

Oh and uh lastly I don't know much about internet socializing. I just know what a MSN is because of me eavesdropping on people, but I've never used it in my life, and don't start talking about Facebook, Twitter and all the others you'll only get ???? from me. Quite frankly I don't even know what an internet forum is, and heck here I am somehow.

 

[Hellhound]

I think there's a whole lot of people just like that, but I always thought that interacting with others was meant to be something more deeper on an emotional level, but from where I come everyone's very afraid of emotions and are very shallow and infantile.

Certainly socializing can't be this nightmare. How can they possibly get fun out of acting fake and like sociopaths? Except maybe by crushing other people who got more of a something than them, but jealousy can't be healthy.

That's why I barely talk to anyone in real life. Most people's interactions consist in going to parties, talking and laughing about nonsense crap, going to really big places, going to waste money, etc. Pure superficial sh*t. I've never met anyone over here who enjoys just sitting and talking about life. Everyone wants to "have fun" and act like clowns all the damn time as if life was some sort of circus. That is socializing to them.
In real life i've had very few meaningful conversations, in part it's my fault because I have a hard time talking, but it's the environment's fault too... because, apparently, meaningful conversation is boring to most people.

As for the internet, I am more used to socialize online than in real life. I've found a lot of interesting people... It's a matter of searching in the right place. I don't even look in Myspace, Facebook and those crappy sites because I know what kind of people are there (most of them are those fake ones you mentioned). I'd rather be in forums like this, where most people are in the same boat, they won't look at you weird for having problems and talking about them... I also look for places where people share interests like mines, like art, writting, pets, etc. MSN is another good idea if you want to talk. You add whoever you want to add to your list. You can be as picky as you want.

 

[I_jailed_me]

I must say I'm at lost here. I keep hearing people talking about socializing and being social and going to social events, but I was never concretely explained what any of this mean.

According to one of the 2 monsters who brought me into this world of pain, well "according" as he can't explain anything clearly or explicit, but I think he tried to pass on me the message that talking to people is a game where you have to play the game, which probably means coming from him that you have to act like a narcissistic hypocrite, and suck people's soul using the gravity of your massive ego just like with a black hole and also by faking caring for them to get favors.

I think there's a whole lot of people just like that, but I always thought that interacting with others was meant to be something more deeper on an emotional level, but from where I come everyone's very afraid of emotions and are very shallow and infantile.

Certainly socializing can't be this nightmare. How can they possibly get fun out of acting fake and like sociopaths? Except maybe by crushing other people who got more of a something than them, but jealousy can't be healthy.

Also does any of you feel like they never had any conversation with anybody in their life. I don't call standing there nodding at the every word of a tyrant's life story repeating itself over and over like a broken record having a conversation with someone. I think I could count the number of almost real conversations I had in my life in the fingers of one hand, maybe two if you push it.

Oh and uh lastly I don't know much about internet socializing. I just know what a MSN is because of me eavesdropping on people, but I've never used it in my life, and don't start talking about Facebook, Twitter and all the others you'll only get ???? from me. Quite frankly I don't even know what an internet forum is, and heck here I am somehow.

Hi darkseeker, So how is your relation with your parents is it confrontational or do you just avoid them? I tend to get angry with my parents at times but i recognizance that they had some problem in their upbringing that they have passed it on to me! So i dont blame them too much now a days.

(Ok how do i start this sentance!!) lol.. Anyways i think there should be some SA get together in your town? May be you can head there and find people who you can relate to?

 

[Emily_G]

Socializing is superficial at first...since you don't know the person. But if you socialize enough you can get passed that. I care about the people I socialize with...I think that part depends on the person.

 

[apollo]

how do i start this sentance!!) lol.. Anyways i think there should be some SA get together in your town? May be you can head there and find people who you can relate to?

Poor guy, that won't work, I think the population is 1 in purgatorio.

Unless there's a nearby town.

 

[philly2bits]

Socializing is superficial at first...since you don't know the person. But if you socialize enough you can get passed that. I care about the people I socialize with...I think that part depends on the person.

I agree with this. Socializing has to start somewhere. Talking about superficial stuff or just telling jokes and having fun lets people get to know each other at a comfortable pace. Going to fast can make many people uneasy and they will cut you loose and try to find someone they are comfortable getting to know. This can be true for both friendships and romantic relationships.

 

[OPERA]

Socializing is superficial at first...since you don't know the person. But if you socialize enough you can get passed that. I care about the people I socialize with...I think that part depends on the person.

yah. i think a lot of times people are out actively seeking those deeper connections, when really, they stem from superficial ones. superficial as in 'hi how are you blablablabla'. i think its best to keep it light and then see what happens from there.

like doing art, you cant build a masterpiece if you arent even willing to touch the canvas. or some such ****ty metaphor like that.

 

[I_jailed_me]

Poor guy, that won't work, I think the population is 1 in purgatorio.

Unless there's a nearby town.

Is there a real town called purgatorio! I think he from the US at least thats what he told me i think!!

 

[combat]

So are you telling yourself all this because you know it to be true or is it just another rationalization for your continued self-isolation? Yes, there are a lot of fake and insincere people out there. But there are also good people whom you will never meet if you don't put yourself out there. You can tell yourself that "everyone is fake/shallow/blah blah blah" and hence you're not going to socialize at all, or you can try to socialize and maybe gravitate towards people that you might make a real connection with.

Attitude and mindset are the first place to start. You're shooting yourself in the foot before you even leave the starting line.

 

[Scooter]

So are you telling yourself all this because you know it to be true or is it just another rationalization for your continued self-isolation? Yes, there are a lot of fake and insincere people out there. But there are also good people whom you will never meet if you don't put yourself out there. You can tell yourself that "everyone is fake/shallow/blah blah blah" and hence you're not going to socialize at all, or you can try to socialize and maybe gravitate towards people that you might make a real connection with.

Attitude and mindset are the first place to start. You're shooting yourself in the foot before you even leave the starting line.

Good point.
Darkseeker you sound so detached, maybe you should start with a super safe option like a counsellor, build up your confidence a bit in the external world

 

[Phil_i]

So are you telling yourself all this because you know it to be true or is it just another rationalization for your continued self-isolation? Yes, there are a lot of fake and insincere people out there. But there are also good people whom you will never meet if you don't put yourself out there. You can tell yourself that "everyone is fake/shallow/blah blah blah" and hence you're not going to socialize at all, or you can try to socialize and maybe gravitate towards people that you might make a real connection with.

Attitude and mindset are the first place to start. You're shooting yourself in the foot before you even leave the starting line.

Nicely put. I think we all feel this way often but a lot of it just bitterness. Plus the loudest, most annoying and superficial people are always the ones that you notice the most

If I need a reminder that there are plenty of amazing people in the world I just think about the music I love (could be any kind of art) and all the people that created it.

 

[DarkSeeker]

Hi darkseeker, So how is your relation with your parents is it confrontational or do you just avoid them?

They're crazy and obsessive over controlling their little crappy world, so I just avoid any communication with them. You don't want to give supply to a real narcissist these people would suck your soul dry. Living far away from them is good, but it's not good enough. I want them out of my life forever, but for that I need more money unfortunately.

Poor guy, that won't work, I think the population is 1 in purgatorio.

Unless there's a nearby town.

Lol, funnny, there's actually a lot more people in here but there's an eternity of space between us.

I think he from the US at least thats what he told me i think!!

Close but I'm from Canada, America's retarded little brother.

Socializing is superficial at first...since you don't know the person. But if you socialize enough you can get passed that. I care about the people I socialize with...I think that part depends on the person.

You lost me there. Small talks, jokes, socializing? I don't recall ever doing that of my own free will.

I agree with this. Socializing has to start somewhere. Talking about superficial stuff or just telling jokes and having fun lets people get to know each other at a comfortable pace. Going to fast can make many people uneasy and they will cut you loose and try to find someone they are comfortable getting to know. This can be true for both friendships and romantic relationships.

That's boring, I always find myself wanting to cut the crap and go straight to the point.

So are you telling yourself all this because you know it to be true or is it just another rationalization for your continued self-isolation?

I'm saying this because as an orphan who was raised by a T.V set, I don't know anything about socializing beside what I saw on the other side of the window and in other people's life. Someone already shot me in the foot, what I'm actually doing is shooting my other foot to make sure I don't leave the starting line at all, because my brain got me persuaded that other people are nothing more than a threat to my life. I keep reading, that you need to socialize to keep yourself healthy, but I've never done any of this in my life.

Anyways i think there should be some SA get together in your town? May be you can head there and find people who you can relate to?

Good point.
Darkseeker you sound so detached, maybe you should start with a super safe option like a counsellor, build up your confidence a bit in the external world

Detached, I couldn't have said it any better. I'm supposed to do all that meeting with counselor and other people at some point soon.

 

[Emily_G]

You lost me there. Small talks, jokes, socializing? I don't recall ever doing that of my own free will.

You asked what socialization is, that's how I define it. At least in the beginning.

 

[DarkSeeker]

You asked what socialization is, that's how I define it. At least in the beginning.

Yeah I got that part. You do small talk with people to help relax the atmosphere and slowly connect with them. The part I don't understand is why do I have to think about these things like I was some sort of psychopath trying to manipulate people. I mean simply saying thank you to anyone makes me feel bad about myself. I still remember the fatman making speeches after speeches about how important it was for me to say thank you to people, particularly to my grandparents on my mother's side to whom I only wanted to tell them to go screw themselves. And even though I've already told them "thank you" like 4 times, I still have to say it a 5th time just to make sure that they heard me, and despite all that I know that I'm still gonna be asked did you tell them "thank you". And don't go thinking for one second to "forget" to say it, these people will go on a mad grudge with you forever or until you go through the whole circus with them to get forgiveness. I had their crappy gifts taken away from me with great anger multiple times just because they thought I didn't tell them thank you, and of course they made me beg for it afterwards.

I also got the same thing for other simple things, like saying hello, happy birthday, and all the others. I just can't do any of that without feeling guilty, and I can barely fancy how can others talk to other people and still sleep well at night, which reminds me that I don't sleep well at night at all (no surprise).

 

[Emily_G]

Yeah I got that part. You do small talk with people to help relax the atmosphere and slowly connect with them. The part I don't understand is why do I have to think about these things like I was some sort of psychopath trying to manipulate people. I mean simply saying thank you to anyone makes me feel bad about myself. I still remember the fatman making speeches after speeches about how important it was for me to say thank you to people, particularly to my grandparents on my mother's side to whom I only wanted to tell them to go screw themselves. And even though I've already told them "thank you" like 4 times, I still have to say it a 5th time just to make sure that they heard me, and despite all that I know that I'm still gonna be asked did you tell them "thank you". And don't go thinking for one second to "forget" to say it, these people will go on a mad grudge with you forever or until you go through the whole circus with them to get forgiveness. I had their crappy gifts taken away from me with great anger multiple times just because they thought I didn't tell them thank you, and of course they made me beg for it afterwards.

I also got the same thing for other simple things, like saying hello, happy birthday, and all the others. I just can't do any of that without feeling guilty, and I can barely fancy how can others talk to other people and still sleep well at night, which reminds me that I don't sleep well at night at all (no surprise).

I think you need to find some new people to socialize with If someone did that to me...the gift thing, I wouldn't be interested in talking with them again personally.

I guess caring about people is something that is learned or something. When I ask how someone is doing, I def don't view it as manipulating them...I'm truly interesting in how they are and hope everything is going good.

 

[apollo]

Lol, funnny, there's actually a lot more people in here but there's an eternity of space between us.

Close but I'm from Canada, America's retarded little brother.

Lol America's retarded brother that's funny. Yeah there probably is a lot of space. You can stick 5 people per square mile in this country.

And about these people taking away these gifts and making you beg...what the **** that's insane!

What province are you from???

 

[DarkSeeker]

And about these people taking away these gifts and making you beg...what the **** that's insane!

Insane, you don't know half of it. Getting these @ssholes out of my life permanently is one of the two greatest gift I'll ever give myself, the other being getting rid of all the bad influences they had on my life.

What province are you from???

YOURS, but I'm not a real Quebecor. I've spent some 19 years living with people who only speak that thing you call French and it's still a foreign language to me, which is why I keep saying that I was raised by a t.v. set. I often feel like I'm coming from one of those crazy isolated hillbilly family in the far away country, which is actually where the Fatman is coming from. His bitch on the other hand comes from a homosexual who married some fat ugly mentally retarded bitch to protect his @ss. *Sigh*, I'd rather pretend I come from Nova-Scotia, at least I had some good times there in a foster family where I almost felt half-normal.

 

[rainstreet]

darkness is the world in negative.

 

[rainstreet]

i was never able to socialize normally, so i couldn't answer the question. I do know that your family, or people that "raise" you are how you determine what the rest of the world is like. If they are idiots, then you're going to assume that's how everybody else is. why would you want to socialize with idiots?

 

[Pookah]

Insane, you don't know half of it. Getting these @ssholes out of my life permanently is one of the two greatest gift I'll ever give myself, the other being getting rid of all the bad influences they had on my life.

YOURS, but I'm not a real Quebecor. I've spent some 19 years living with people who only speak that thing you call French and it's still a foreign language to me, which is why I keep saying that I was raised by a t.v. set. I often feel like I'm coming from one of those crazy isolated hillbilly family in the far away country, which is actually where the Fatman is coming from. His bitch on the other hand comes from a homosexual who married some fat ugly mentally retarded bitch to protect his @ss. *Sigh*, I'd rather pretend I come from Nova-Scotia, at least I had some good times there in a foster family where I almost felt half-normal.

Part of socializing is not letting every little thing living in your head come out. No one cares to know your entire mind especially if you come up with these little gems about homosexuals.

Tell me, do you idolize the Joker character?