stop with this negative thought it aint helping

[yohannes]

i am reading a lot of negative staff in this forum. Like i am a failure & i am this and that. That is not really helping anyone and specially you. All those negative thoughts and feeling that you have is really making your SA worst. I use to think like that i am a loser, i am ugly, & i am failure. Thinking like that for 10 years haven't help me instead it had destroyed my life. Remember bitting yourself like that lowers your self-esteem. We all SA suffer a low self-esteem. We believe that our self-esteem is based on the external, and when we don't get those approval we punish ourself. Self-esteem is internal we must accept and love ourself. Remember if I don;t believe i am lovable how do I know if someone loves me.

http://www.demonoid.com/files/details/1216628/6201

six pillar of self-esteem listen to it.

 

[Felgen]

If a person with social anxiety can't vent here, then there really isn't anywhere else to turn.

 

[Helyna]

Okay, most of us have low self-esteem. Still, we can be a bit more positive, right? Gotta talk positively before you can get any better. (I'm fighting a losing battle against this.)

 

[typewriterx]

Should be a little mixture of both. I'm saying, don't just complain all the time and wallow in self pity, but vent. It's good to get it out, and especially amongst people in the same situation. List positive things though too. Without a bit of both, you won't feel better. [In my opinion at least.]

 

[hbanana11]

If a person with social anxiety can't vent here, then there really isn't anywhere else to turn.

There's a difference between venting and wallowing in your sorrow. Venting is fine. In fact, I think its healthy...to a point. After awhile, it just gets really whiney and annoying. For everyone's own sake, they should at least TRY to be positive..at least a little bit.

 

[Helyna]

If a person with social anxiety can't vent here, then there really isn't anywhere else to turn.

There's a difference between venting and wallowing in your sorrow. Venting is fine. In fact, I think its healthy...to a point. After awhile, it just gets really whiney and annoying. For everyone's own sake, they should at least TRY to be positive..at least a little bit.

I second that.

 

[chris420]

If a person with social anxiety can't vent here, then there really isn't anywhere else to turn.

There's a difference between venting and wallowing in your sorrow. Venting is fine. In fact, I think its healthy...to a point. After awhile, it just gets really whiney and annoying. For everyone's own sake, they should at least TRY to be positive..at least a little bit.

I second that.

+1

I think far from venting about real, immediate problems people can fall into the trap of moping, and it doesn't do them or others reading any good...likewise reading through people's problems for hours is not going to be very productive (guilty of this one).

There's always been a lot of negativity though, it's the same on other forums like this, you're not really gonna change it since most people posting here are stuck in the trap of negative thinking. It's the nature of the beast I supose. What's important ultimately is that through all the negative stuff people can find support.

Everyone here should give CBT a go for a month, imo.

 

[A-UK-Lovely]

there is defo some kind of change going on in this forum. and for the better. seems like people have had enough with the ones who only moan and only reply with negative bullshit. good for you people. i hoped this would happen.

 

[Dave_McFadden]

What website is this, the Mutual Appreciation Society? Who is going on to these sites expecting to be cheered up, It's like, I'm so depressed - maybe if I visit that website where everyone's got social problems, I'll feel better. Actually, sometimes, it's good for people to see other people who they can relate to, even if it's "negative" or "whining". How many times how you seen someone rant, and then 5 or 6 people post saying they can totally relate to the original poster,and they thought they were the only ones who felt that way? Even if the original poster was "negative", don't you think it's good for them to know that they're not alone (as the title of the website suggests), and doesn't that count as "support", which is one of the legitimate functions of this website?

seems like people have had enough with the ones who only moan and only reply with negative bullshit.

Good, let people have enough of them. Let people whine and moan about the people who whine and moan. Don't like them? Well, ignore them. Respond to the people who make you feel better and ignore the others.

Sometimes, people come on here and they tell us things they can't tell their family or other people close to them. I WANT people to feel like they can trust us with this stuff. They trust us with something about themselves that they don't trust their most intimate acquaintances with. Good for them. They shouldn't have to worry about being judged as too "negative", or too anything else.

 

[recluse]

I've just had my third cbt session last Wednesday and my therapist teaches me to value myself in a positive manner. She asked me all the things however small they may seem which i have done, which i feel i have done well, thinking positive is immensely difficult to do but it can be done.

 

[sleepysparrow]

I've just had my third cbt session last Wednesday and my therapist teaches me to value myself in a positive manner. She asked me all the things however small they may seem which i have done, which i feel i have done well, thinking positive is immensely difficult to do but it can be done.

I'm glad you're doing well

 

[hoddesdon]

I totally agree that negative thinking does not help.

 

[illuminationSP]

Everyone should be allowed to do and say what they feel on this forum, of course without insulting/attacking. We receive too much bull**** in the real world already. If a person wants to whine on here, let them. If it annoys, don't read. I mean, I don't come to this site for positivity... it's a social disorder website.

 

[spect01]

Venting is good.

 

[yomisma19]

i think most of people can't say what they are thinking in the real life, then is good vent all here. anyway, it would be good to vent the worst..and to write something positive about the problem

 

[Hellhound]

Tell me how to fix my mind and I shall stop being negative <3 I'm sure people here are not negative because they want to. If we could stop being negative, I bet we would in a heartbeat. Some things are not that easy.

 

[Enialis227]

I don't have negative thoughts like this, self-esteem isn't my problem.
I am the man and I can do anything I put my ****ing mind to, but this god-damn anxiety attacks me out of nowhere and completely debilitates me when I am around people, even for a second.

Self-esteem may have a link to social phobia, but feeling better about yourself won't necessarily make you better. It might help with depression though.

 

[doesit]

was going to write something the same.All the threads created on the website are just sad to read and the topic is always the same as the answers.theres only few people who try to answer posts in proper manner and like adults.there should be sticky with topics not to write about,one of them is dont ask any help about girls on the socialpobic website their least to know.And yes theres help for everyone just you need to speak with your GP/councellor or parents,coz no one gonna cure you on internet,and rooting at home in your own head wont solve anything.My advice would be to separate young people from adults on the discussions forum for the mods.

 

[Banvard]

You negative-naysayers, stop with this negativity!!!

 

[Silvox Black]

Your intentions are well enough, but your understanding of the matter is somewhat flawed. You must understand that this place is a haven for sufferers. They need a place to be able to speak their mind without receiving flak and anger from people who do not wish to hear it. Please, do think of the matter a bit before speaking. I understand you wish to help, but this is not the way to do so.