Sacrament
Well-known member
I cannot begin to describe how much this hinders people with social anxiety. It's probably one of the worst things, if not the worst. You make a mental image of all the possible scenarios regarding a future event (even if it's just something as simple as going to the store), and in your mind it's as if every one of those things is gonna happen.
But it's also important to acknowledge it as an exaggeration, something that's purely in your mind and that mostly only happens if you let it get to you to a point where you make it happen.
One of the best examples of this in my life (as of late) are getting my driver's license and having to do a few exams before the driver's license (basically, your doctor has to give you a paper for you to deliver to the driving school). When I first went to the appointment, I was anxious and tired. My doctor measured my blood pressure and it was off the roof, not only because I was anxious, but also because I had eaten foods with high levels of salt (dumb idea). Doctor wouldn't give me the paper, so my driver's license was on hold. I had to wait an entire month for another appointment, in which time my doctor wanted me to measure my blood pressure daily, and also to get a chest x-ray and two different types of ECGs. Obviously, my anxiety was off the charts when I had those exams done, and my heart was beating at 104bpm throughout, despite my efforts to remain calm and think happy thoughts.
When I got the exams back, my heart was fine, but there were a few things on my x-ray that I decided to look up on google. Bad idea. For one of them, google was telling me I had pulmonary fibrosis. I almost had a heart attack. For the other one (related to the spine this time), I got a few links telling me my spine was as weak as it usually is for the elderly. In my mind, three things were happening: 1) Doctor was going to give me a ton of bad news; 2) I was gonna die soon; 3) there was no way she'd give me the paper for my driver's license. I barely slept for days, despite my girlfriend trying to comfort me. I also had to make an effort not to keep researching for those two things on google.
Day of the appointment came and I tried to be as calm as possible. I kept thinking "worrying doesn't change a thing except for the worst", and that if I were to be sick, I guess we'd handle it as it goes. My blood pressure wasn't as high as last time, mostly due to dieting, eating barely any salt, and do my best to relax. Doctor look at the x-ray, didn't even say anything and everything was normal. Got my paper, went straight to my driving school and that was that. Tons of anxiety for nothing, as usual.
The second part of this topic is all the anxiety I had just to sign up at this driving school. A lot of things would pop into my mind, such as people looking at my funny, people judging me for this or that aspect of my looks, classes being crowded, loud and warm, me blushing and sweating constantly, etc. I spent months dreading this, worried that it might be all that and more. How much of that was true? Zero. Everyone's friendly and nice, everyone's kind to one another, I'm making people laugh with my sense of humor, I'm teaching others who know less than I do, and time goes by without me even noticing it.
This is just to show you how much you might be putting your life on hold because of anticipation, whether it be you being afraid of seeing a neighbor and having to make small talk, going to the store and accidentally dropping a box of eggs, going to the park and people laughing at you, etc, you need to see things for what they really are and turn fear into excitement, otherwise your life will continue to be put on hold and you will feel worse and worse every day. Look at all the things you love to do and be and see and hear, and live them freely. Everyone else is busy doing the same, and even if they're not, that kind of negativity isn't something you want near you anyway.
I know this is a long post, but maybe it can also be an exercise for you. Think of something you've been dreading recently and discuss it in this thread, including all the fears that go through your mind when you think of it. Then read your own post as if you were someone else, and ask yourself if any of those fears have any reason to be. Might be therapeutic!
But it's also important to acknowledge it as an exaggeration, something that's purely in your mind and that mostly only happens if you let it get to you to a point where you make it happen.
One of the best examples of this in my life (as of late) are getting my driver's license and having to do a few exams before the driver's license (basically, your doctor has to give you a paper for you to deliver to the driving school). When I first went to the appointment, I was anxious and tired. My doctor measured my blood pressure and it was off the roof, not only because I was anxious, but also because I had eaten foods with high levels of salt (dumb idea). Doctor wouldn't give me the paper, so my driver's license was on hold. I had to wait an entire month for another appointment, in which time my doctor wanted me to measure my blood pressure daily, and also to get a chest x-ray and two different types of ECGs. Obviously, my anxiety was off the charts when I had those exams done, and my heart was beating at 104bpm throughout, despite my efforts to remain calm and think happy thoughts.
When I got the exams back, my heart was fine, but there were a few things on my x-ray that I decided to look up on google. Bad idea. For one of them, google was telling me I had pulmonary fibrosis. I almost had a heart attack. For the other one (related to the spine this time), I got a few links telling me my spine was as weak as it usually is for the elderly. In my mind, three things were happening: 1) Doctor was going to give me a ton of bad news; 2) I was gonna die soon; 3) there was no way she'd give me the paper for my driver's license. I barely slept for days, despite my girlfriend trying to comfort me. I also had to make an effort not to keep researching for those two things on google.
Day of the appointment came and I tried to be as calm as possible. I kept thinking "worrying doesn't change a thing except for the worst", and that if I were to be sick, I guess we'd handle it as it goes. My blood pressure wasn't as high as last time, mostly due to dieting, eating barely any salt, and do my best to relax. Doctor look at the x-ray, didn't even say anything and everything was normal. Got my paper, went straight to my driving school and that was that. Tons of anxiety for nothing, as usual.
The second part of this topic is all the anxiety I had just to sign up at this driving school. A lot of things would pop into my mind, such as people looking at my funny, people judging me for this or that aspect of my looks, classes being crowded, loud and warm, me blushing and sweating constantly, etc. I spent months dreading this, worried that it might be all that and more. How much of that was true? Zero. Everyone's friendly and nice, everyone's kind to one another, I'm making people laugh with my sense of humor, I'm teaching others who know less than I do, and time goes by without me even noticing it.
This is just to show you how much you might be putting your life on hold because of anticipation, whether it be you being afraid of seeing a neighbor and having to make small talk, going to the store and accidentally dropping a box of eggs, going to the park and people laughing at you, etc, you need to see things for what they really are and turn fear into excitement, otherwise your life will continue to be put on hold and you will feel worse and worse every day. Look at all the things you love to do and be and see and hear, and live them freely. Everyone else is busy doing the same, and even if they're not, that kind of negativity isn't something you want near you anyway.
I know this is a long post, but maybe it can also be an exercise for you. Think of something you've been dreading recently and discuss it in this thread, including all the fears that go through your mind when you think of it. Then read your own post as if you were someone else, and ask yourself if any of those fears have any reason to be. Might be therapeutic!
