That initial introduction...

[Errordotocx]

I find that the initial introductions are the hardest part about social situations, followed by keeping the conversation going. But like I was saying, I find the intro into anything I haven't done to be the hardest part of anything. Such as when I went to that party a few weeks back where I really didn't know anyone. I had never really been to a party where I didn't know anyone so when it came up it was like climbing a skyscraper to get past the problem. Of course I ended up going and it wasn't anywhere near as bad as I thought. Now while I might get a little nervous or anxious if I was to be invited to another. Now the second time around there would be a lot less hassle and stressing about it. Just like today, I decided to go get my hair cut and I had been stressing out big time over the past few months about going because the very few times I had went it was with family I knew. This time I would be alone without anyone to back me up. I would like to point out that I always had my hair cut by my parents and I think it's time to cut the cord. I've been doing that with a lot of stuff lately. But I finally forced myself to go today, it wasn't all that bad and the lady that was suppose to do it ended up not being there. So I get to go back tomorrow, but i'm not even really worrying about it now. I'll be a little nervous, but not overly nervous.

Really, what i'm getting at is that I find this to happen when I want to introduce myself to someone new or some girl. Sometimes the WANT to say something or try to start a chat is so extremely high that I can't stand it...and I occasionally do say something. But that mental barrier I have to climb to get myself to say something seems to be miles and miles high and sometimes I just can't make it over to the other side. Of course, when I don't make it over it feels like I have failed even though I did nothing to cause failure. It's just that part of me wants to say something so much but the other holds me back. Hell, maybe i'm just describing what it's like to be shy or have SA. But i'm seeing it from a different point of view I guess?

I just had to find an example for what i'm talking about and this is the best I could find.

 

[DoodlebugSA]

Hi, I totally get what you are saying. I liken it to being like a salmon swimming upstream - I never seem to get anywhere and it seems like the goal is getting further and further away.

 

[Illusions]

I feel the same... and am trying to get over it.

 

[kwyser]

You just gotta do it. I know it sounds like horrible advice, but its true. Try this, next time you are at work, or school, or anywhere else for that matter, and you see someone you want to talk to, do it.

Go up and say something about whatever you are doing at the time, if you are both doing the same thing, even better. Yes, sometimes you will find a complete ass that will just blow you off, but sometimes you will find a genuinely cool person that you will enjoy talking to.