Michelob512
Active member
Here is my belief on why some people develop SA/SP and others don't (if you don't want to read the theoretical part, just skip to my question near the end):
It all begins with childhood. I believe that for a person to develop any kind of irrational fear during adolescence or adulthood, there must have been some original fear felt during childhood involving trauma or parenting. For example, a parent might have yelled at and/or criticized the child, causing the child to feel fear by percieving a threat to their security (because their parent, on whom they rely, is angry).
Once they feel the fear, they might associate fear with a particular situation. (This is where heriditary/biological factors come in to play- some may be more suceptible to this original fear). Social phobia usually develops in adolescence either after a pattern of social shyness or after an embarrasing social incident, and it is my belief that all social fears that an SPer has only exist because they are associated unconsciously with the original childhood fears.
So my question is, how was your childhood in relation to your parents? I think if some of us describe ours we may find many commonalities. I'll start:
My parents were very strict. There was a set of rules, and if I broke any I would be yelled at and possibly spanked. If I ever talked back I would be slapped or punished. Sometimes my mother would say things like "That's a stupid thing to do!" In school I was pressured to get good grades and to never get in trouble. I think those are the key points that I can remember.
It all begins with childhood. I believe that for a person to develop any kind of irrational fear during adolescence or adulthood, there must have been some original fear felt during childhood involving trauma or parenting. For example, a parent might have yelled at and/or criticized the child, causing the child to feel fear by percieving a threat to their security (because their parent, on whom they rely, is angry).
Once they feel the fear, they might associate fear with a particular situation. (This is where heriditary/biological factors come in to play- some may be more suceptible to this original fear). Social phobia usually develops in adolescence either after a pattern of social shyness or after an embarrasing social incident, and it is my belief that all social fears that an SPer has only exist because they are associated unconsciously with the original childhood fears.
So my question is, how was your childhood in relation to your parents? I think if some of us describe ours we may find many commonalities. I'll start:
My parents were very strict. There was a set of rules, and if I broke any I would be yelled at and possibly spanked. If I ever talked back I would be slapped or punished. Sometimes my mother would say things like "That's a stupid thing to do!" In school I was pressured to get good grades and to never get in trouble. I think those are the key points that I can remember.