This girl and I have been chatting on MSN for a few weeks

[reD3vil]

She's actually a girl I used to go to school with, but I hadn't talked to her in a few years so it was almost like talking to a complete stranger. Well, on Facebook she started sending me PM's and in one of them she told me that she had always liked me.

Well, things progressed and then last night she told me she wanted to go on Skype and cam and talk with me, I suffer from Social Anxiety and the minute she said that, I just started to panic. Couldn't think of anything to say or an excuse to tell her. So I just bailed on her. I knew that if I had chosen to actually get on mic and cam with her things would just end up in an awkward silence, because that's what most of my convos end up in, sadly (

This also happens when I talk on the phone to people I don't really know, I just start talking fast and I end up sounding pretty stupid, it's coming to a point where I just avoid phone calls.

Has anyone here gone through the same, or is experiencing the same thing? It really sucks and I feel like I'm worthless and will never amount to anything.

 

[IGotSeoul]

Don't bail on her, tell her you're shy. If shes interested in you she'll understand the truth. If you blow her off she won't understand why and feel hurt.

 

[Kiwong]

Go for gold.

 

[BornThisWay]

You are not worthless! Don't bail on her! She said she's always liked you, she likes you for you. Be yourself, don't worry

 

[Newtype]

I know how you feel. I've been in situations just like yours and every time I always ended up having to find some lame excuse not to. I regret doing that though because it could have been really fun. Just be honest with her. Tell her that you're shy. However, it shouldn't be an excuse to never do anything with her though. You have to push yourself to do things that you're scared of doing, otherwise you'll stay like this forever.

 

[sucettes]

This is exactly how I used to feel. Now this doesn't scare me much, now it's mostly the real life situations that bothers me... I have somehow managed to push myself into doing these things. When I have been really interested in a guy over the internet I've always thought "if I don't do this, then how will I ever be able to face him or ANYONE that I like in real life???!"

That thought scared me but at the same time it helped. If I can't face people in real life then this is the least I could do. Or else I'd feel like such a loser, hiding behind a computer screen all my life......

In the beginning it was very hard because I could blush and feel really warm, sweating even though the room was cold. I was really nervous.

But the good thing is that since it's on cam, it's easier to hide how nervous you really are. Turn the screen black&white if you are afraid of blushing, etc. I always feel more comfortable when it's black&white... You can also make the quality a bit bad and say that your cam is old and sh*t, just blame it on that! lol.

You can also tell her that your mic doesn't work, so you won't be able to talk to her. That way you will see each other, but still type. That's a good way to take it slow and you can tell her that you've "bought" a new mic when you feel ready to talk to her. It's just a way to give you more time and to give it a slow start.

It's important that you don't bail on her, if you don't feel like it, then tell her like it is or at least try to come up with an excuse.

I'm just giving you some advice that helped me. I know that we are all different but I know how it is to feel like you'll never amount to anything. I have been there, but I managed to do this and now it doesn't even feel that scary anymore. Good luck!

 

[Ignace]

Be open with her. Tell her the truth and definitely no lies like that your mic doesn't work or so. It will only make it harder. If she really likes you, she'll understand. If she doesn't, she's not worthy of you.

 

[sucettes]

Be open with her. Tell her the truth and definitely no lies like that your mic doesn't work or so. It will only make it harder. If she really likes you, she'll understand. If she doesn't, she's not worthy of you.

The thought of actually talking and be seen on cam at the same time scared me. There was no way I saw myself doing both. But now I do, I just needed some time and it was easier to get used to one of the things first. It made it a lot easier for me. I don't like to lie, but I'd rather lie than to panic and make a complete fool out of myself. The reason is to just be able to take one step at a time. One lie won't hurt if it means that it will help you. But yeah, that's just my opinion and my own experience. ::

 

[Ignace]

The thought of actually talking and be seen on cam at the same time scared me. There was no way I saw myself doing both. But now I do, I just needed some time and it was easier to get used to one of the things first. It made it a lot easier for me. I don't like to lie, but I'd rather lie than to panic and make a complete fool out of myself. The reason is to just be able to take one step at a time. One lie won't hurt if it means that it will help you. But yeah, that's just my opinion and my own experience. ::

Was nothing personal, sorry if it sounded like that. For myself it wouldn't matter when I would start speaking on cam, it would be equally hard. Unfortunately forcing is the only way to let me do something .. ::

 

[ForeverBlue2]

just be honest with her and tell the truth about SP/shyness. Better she knows the truth than think you have just brushed her off and then she ends up confused and hating you for it. Nothing worse than misunderstandings to kill off a friendship/relationship.
If she decides to not carry on with your friendship after you tell her then that's up to her. At least you know you tried.

 

[drganon]

Hell, at least you got a girl to want to talk to you. Farther than I've gotten. Of course, I've tried my best to avoid anyone I knew in high school since I hate all of them,but that's beside the point.

 

[Paahi]

Be honest, be yourself.