spaceboy135
Well-known member
Hey everybody, here are some notes I took from "Overcoming Social Anxiety: Step by Step" tapes today. I particularly found this to be very profound and helpful... You ought to take what is about to be read to heart:
ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts) examples:
a. I make a fool of myself if I talk in front of a group of people!
b. I don’t know what to say when I’m introduced to a stranger… ☹
c. I get anxious just thinking about having to go to the company picnic…
d. What will I say to people? What will I do?
e. I’ll get so nervous that they’ll think I’m strange and weird.
f. I can’t stand up to anybody!
g. I’m afraid they won’t like me…
h. I don’t have a very good opinion of myself…
i. Being social is so easy for everyone else. Why is it impossible for me?
j. Being the center of attention causes my anxiety to go sky-high.
k. The thought of being criticized in public while being in the middle of a confrontation horrifies me.
l. (My own that I've added in here, because it's my biggest ANT) I feel like I can't make eye contact with others without scaring them. This makes me very anxious.
NOTICE: All of these thoughts are fears based on our anxiety. THEY ARE NOT REALISTIC OR RATIONAL THOUGHTS! When you’re not feeling anxious, you do just fine talking with other people. When you’re not feeling anxious, you don’t feel strange or weird or like an outcast. When you’re not feeling anxious, you can do many of the things you tell yourself you cannot do. The REAL culprit here is anxiety, NOT your inability to engage in social activities. You have done many social activities before successfully. Go back to your childhood and remember how free you felt in those days. You still have the ability to do all the things you’ve done in the past. It’s just right now your Ants have built the anxiety up to huge proportions, and things seem and feel like they are impossible to do. But you’ve done many of these things before, and you’ve done them successfully. Right now it’s the anxiety, and ONLY the anxiety that’s holding you back. Therefore many of our beliefs are irrational and unrealistic and damaging to our progress. They’re also simply lies. You can already do almost everything you think you cant. It’s the social anxiety that makes it hard for you to believe this. But please notice that the negative beliefs and expectations you have about yourself are liars. They are not telling the truth. They are trying to scare you, trap you, keep you down in the gutter so that you can’t live a happy life—but NEVERTHELESS they are lies. If the thoughts in your mind are intrusive, pressuring, anxiety-producing, negative, scary, obsessive, or irrational, you are listening to what’s left over of the ants thoughts and feelings, that automatic negative thinking you’ve lived with for so long. You weren't born thinking these negative thoughts. ANTs come from criticisms from others in the past that eventually become your own thoughts, since you’ve heard them over and over again so many times before. All the criticism you received caused all this. You did not fill your mind with criticism, blame, or guilt. Others did. But it’s YOU who has to get rid of them.
ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts) examples:
a. I make a fool of myself if I talk in front of a group of people!
b. I don’t know what to say when I’m introduced to a stranger… ☹
c. I get anxious just thinking about having to go to the company picnic…
d. What will I say to people? What will I do?
e. I’ll get so nervous that they’ll think I’m strange and weird.
f. I can’t stand up to anybody!
g. I’m afraid they won’t like me…
h. I don’t have a very good opinion of myself…
i. Being social is so easy for everyone else. Why is it impossible for me?
j. Being the center of attention causes my anxiety to go sky-high.
k. The thought of being criticized in public while being in the middle of a confrontation horrifies me.
l. (My own that I've added in here, because it's my biggest ANT) I feel like I can't make eye contact with others without scaring them. This makes me very anxious.
NOTICE: All of these thoughts are fears based on our anxiety. THEY ARE NOT REALISTIC OR RATIONAL THOUGHTS! When you’re not feeling anxious, you do just fine talking with other people. When you’re not feeling anxious, you don’t feel strange or weird or like an outcast. When you’re not feeling anxious, you can do many of the things you tell yourself you cannot do. The REAL culprit here is anxiety, NOT your inability to engage in social activities. You have done many social activities before successfully. Go back to your childhood and remember how free you felt in those days. You still have the ability to do all the things you’ve done in the past. It’s just right now your Ants have built the anxiety up to huge proportions, and things seem and feel like they are impossible to do. But you’ve done many of these things before, and you’ve done them successfully. Right now it’s the anxiety, and ONLY the anxiety that’s holding you back. Therefore many of our beliefs are irrational and unrealistic and damaging to our progress. They’re also simply lies. You can already do almost everything you think you cant. It’s the social anxiety that makes it hard for you to believe this. But please notice that the negative beliefs and expectations you have about yourself are liars. They are not telling the truth. They are trying to scare you, trap you, keep you down in the gutter so that you can’t live a happy life—but NEVERTHELESS they are lies. If the thoughts in your mind are intrusive, pressuring, anxiety-producing, negative, scary, obsessive, or irrational, you are listening to what’s left over of the ants thoughts and feelings, that automatic negative thinking you’ve lived with for so long. You weren't born thinking these negative thoughts. ANTs come from criticisms from others in the past that eventually become your own thoughts, since you’ve heard them over and over again so many times before. All the criticism you received caused all this. You did not fill your mind with criticism, blame, or guilt. Others did. But it’s YOU who has to get rid of them.