Try And Convince Me To Live

[Foxface]

I'm 24 years old. Most of my life sucked. I always have bad luck. I have no friends, it's almost impoosible to make friends.

I'm not good looking. I have Asperger's Syndrome, so my social and communication skills suck (even more so than most Aspies). Most girls hate me a judge me just by looking at me, some it's quite obvious. They act like I don't exist, or like I'm a parasite. I don't do anything to them.

I also have no idea how I come off to people, so I can't detect my faults. I mess up a lot of things I say, people always misunderstand things I say, becuase of my communication abilities. I'm alwyas lonely, desperate for a friend. I've been searching for my soul mate, but haven't done a whole lot. I just keep dreaming of this perfect girl (she's perfect to me), becuase she actually like me, and supports me. It's just a dream.

I hate when I see people with friends, and all happy. I wish I could be like that. I hate when people say things like "best friends forever" and post pictures with the little sayings on them with their friends. Makes me more desparate and depressed. I get uneasy when I see an attractive girl. I get weak and feel like I'm taking a heart attack. I get a bad pain in my heart and pain shooting down my right arm. It is becuase I'm desperate and want to be with them, but I can't. Girls are my biggest weakness. I've been dreaming about being with a girl for a few years. I want to find true love.

I'm old fashioned. I'm like like anyone else my age. I don't like to get drunk and party. I never did drugs, I hardly ever drink, or smoke, which I guess is a good thing. So, that also makes it hard to fit in with people my age.

Most of my life is mistakes. Most things I do is mistakes, whther it's something I say, or do.

I get really, really bad canker sores on my tongue, which is really painful (like someone put sultpheric acid on my tongue). I had them since childhood, and they would usually come once or twice a year, but for the [ast 2-3 years, I getten bombarded by them (one after the other), my tongue only gets better for a couple of days usually. I think it could be the stress and frustration of being lonely and wanting a friend.

The only thing good in my life is that I live in a good in my life, is I live in Canada, I live in a good house, good family and have a car. I was successful at passing school, but barely. I passed my drivers test.

My life sucks. I'm always miserable and in pain (wehther it be physcially, or emotionally). I often have cry a lot before I sleep. I can't get a job, becuase of these canker sores, and I can't stay ona decent sleep scheduale. I have bad insomnia I had ever since I was a kid. Trouble falling asleep.

I hardly ever get satisfaction in life. I don't have much emotions. I lost them during depression a few years ago. I can just feel the bad emotions. It's rare that I can feel happy or excited.

The world is so different, and it's hard for me to understand things, becuase I understand and see things differently. There is so much negative in my life. I kinda draw it, becuase I'm lonely and kinda desperate for a friend or girl friend.

Sorry for any spelling mistakes, I've typed this sorta fast.

 

[springk]

hi foxface.
i can write a similar post..yeah. i too feel miserable. so what can i say to convince you.
one thing i have learned that life is incomprehensible. the more i try to reason the more complicated it gets.

well..i always feel that one cant escape from oneself so you have to face your problems whatever they may be.
you have many problems but cant you think anything that will make you want to live?

i know i m not helping at all . i just want u to know that you are not alone . many people feel the way u do.but its u who have to find your own solution.

 

[Foxface]

The only thing is hope that my soul mate comes and recues me, but that's not very realistic. Most of my thoughts are realitistic, so I don't know. It's rare that a girl takes interest in me. No one said I was attractive, or something. So, when someone does take interest, I wonder.

I've been searching desperately for someone to talk to, understand me etc. Not a lot of people like they were a live, and talking to people on-line is hard, where they can't see your expressions/emotions.

I go for drives, to get out of the house, I feel lonely, especailly when I see an attractive girl, becuase I think to myself, that I can't be with her, she dosen't like me.

 

[Facethefear]

OK I will try and convince you to live;
Start with one problem, work on it and solve it. The canker sores solution - get Vitamin E - pop capsules and apply to tongue - instant relief - repeat until you have no more sores.
You do not drink, drug or smoke - that is a huge plus.
We have a great health care system in Canada and you can ask your family doctor to send you to all the specialists you need FREE.
I feel your pain but you have to find the strength inside you to get out of this rut. No one else can do it for you. Make a list of what you want for happiness. Once you start to achieve these goals you will start liking yourself and you will project that to others and they will be more receptive to you.
Start a thread here - a diary of your progress and let others encourage you.

 

[Foxface]

I have a topic called "Foxface's thoughts" on here. I haven't updated in awhile, becuase I haven't been on the forums.

I really want a girl to accept me. Someone special to be with, good friends at least. In real life.

 

[Foxface]

I don't know wha it is, that turns poeple off, and why I get blocked, and hated so much. It should be really obvious, but I can't see them.

I have no idea what others think of me, becuase I don't know how I come accross. Girls in real life who hate me just by my looks, is no excuse.

I am a human being after all.

I stay alive because I believe there is someone out there for me.

 

[Phoenixx]

OK I will try and convince you to live;
Start with one problem, work on it and solve it. The canker sores solution - get Vitamin E - pop capsules and apply to tongue - instant relief - repeat until you have no more sores.
You do not drink, drug or smoke - that is a huge plus.
We have a great health care system in Canada and you can ask your family doctor to send you to all the specialists you need FREE.
I feel your pain but you have to find the strength inside you to get out of this rut. No one else can do it for you. Make a list of what you want for happiness. Once you start to achieve these goals you will start liking yourself and you will project that to others and they will be more receptive to you.
Start a thread here - a diary of your progress and let others encourage you.

^ I agree with this post. Pretty much took the words right out of my head. Also making a plan, a goal diary! Very nice suggestion!

I understand your pain with the canker sores for one, I used to get them often too when I was little. Partially due to genetics I was prone to them, but my diet didn't help either. I was a kid, I was always eating sugary, salty, and acidic foods. Do you eat a lot of those? Tomatoes I know do not help any at all. They were the worst. Maybe a change in your diet would do you wonders. Make sure you're getting lots of vitamins and minerals in your body, and stay away from very sweet, salty, and acidic foods. That did for me. Now I only get one or two canker sores a year, if that.

As for getting a job, there must be some sort of service you can get help through that specializes in getting jobs for people with disabilities right? I know my brother, right after high school, worked with a program for a little while that helped him find jobs that would suit him and they even helped him with resumes and applications. He's partially colorblind, dyslexic, and has trouble reading and writing, so it was a pretty good program for him to get started with. He did end up getting a job too -- construction, which is what he wanted to do -- and it offered pretty decent starting pay. He doesn't work there anymore though, since he's found something better, but it did help him to get on his feet. I recommend you try finding a program that will help you with that once you feel you're ready for a job.

Now I know this may not what you want to hear, but I think it needs to be said. There's so much more to experience in life at the moment than finding a girl, and I think in order for you to find someone you love, you need to sort out your other issues first. I understand why you want one. I've been single for 19 years and I would love to have a guy too because let's face it, being single sometimes isn't all rainbows and unicorns. (But I do enjoy it sometimes!) With all these issues going on, do you think you're going to be 100% happy as soon as you get said girl? A girl coming into your life won't solve all your problems, just like a guy coming into mine won't make my social anxiety go away and won't make my depression go away (it may improve it, but it won't erase it). In order to be happy, we need to find ways to make ourselves happy. We need to solve our own issues first, no matter how hard they may be.

So again, sort out one problem at a time. Be patient, find the strength you need, and go from there. I wish you the best of luck, Foxface.

 

[laure15]

You and i have a lot in common. I get disliked/hated by both girls and guys almost everywhere I go, and it's frustrating and depressing. I'm also not good looking and I think I have asperger's because my social skills suck to the T. I also don't drink or smoke so don't know why I'm not being appreciated for staying sober.

I don't think getting a girlfriend will solve all your problems. First, you must learn to accept and love yourself before loving anybody else.

Aren't there any LGBT groups in Canada where you can mingle with fellow peers? Maybe you can find some friends at those group meetings who can understand and appreciate you more than others can.

You are not alone. I bet around the world at this moment, there are many people who feel the same way. But I think it's too early to give up, especially at such a young age. Many people in this world don't want to die but they get killed by accidents, murders, diseases, and things beyond their control; they never got a chance to live their lives to the fullest.On the other hand, there are people who don't want to live and pretty much give up.

Please don't give up just yet. You never know what might happen in the future; maybe a miracle will happen that will turn your life around. You never know unless you continue living.

 

[dottie]

i'm going to say this and please forgive me if it sounds rude. not my intention but i'm not good at being warm and fuzzy. this is from my own experience.

no one is going to come along and rescue you, whether it be a male or female. ever.

no miracle is going to happen.

generally, the whole victim mentality is what drives people away. people hear "i need," "i want," "this sucks," "wah," and it's repelling. it makes you sound like work. where is the fun in that relationship? everyone has problems in their life, but not everyone needs to wave a big red flag around to alert everyone of them. you mentioned dreaming of a perfect best friend. be that person. all the traits you imagine in that character, become it. does she care for people? does she call people to see how they are doing? what does this imagined character give you and DO for you in your fantasies? take these exact things and give them to everyone in your life. like attracts like. if you start being this way, you are more apt to draw it back into your life. what you give is what you get.

there are lots of amazing things to live for. nature, music, art. you like hunger games? you probably want to live long enough to see the rest of the trilogy in theatre. i do!

just food for thought.

 

[Hoppy]

Dottie is right. The more work you put in from your side the better chance there is of getting out of the hole.

You have a family that care for you, and you are very lucky in that way, but unfortunately friends will also give you a lot of heartbreak, and having got that perfect woman you want you will have to keep on working on the relationship.

Good luck, life isn't over till you die.

 

[OceanMist]

QUOTEFoxfaceI'm 24 years old. Most of my life sucked. I always have bad luck. I have no friends, it's almost impoosible to make friends.

A lot of peoples' lives who have any kind of anxiety disorder have sucked for the most part, I feel ya there.

I also have no friends. I do think it's possible to make friends if someone really wants to. The problem for me is lack of social motivation. I can't really get myself to want to go out, I don't like talking much, etc.


I'm not good looking. I have Asperger's Syndrome, so my social and communication skills suck (even more so than most Aspies). Most girls hate me a judge me just by looking at me, some it's quite obvious. They act like I don't exist, or like I'm a parasite. I don't do anything to them.

I am curious, is the not good looking thing related to weight. Because a lot of people are very judgemental about people that are overweight and that could be part of the problem. If so, there are solutions nowadays for that such as weight losing programs and stuff. maybe that's not the prob, idk.

I may have Aspies too, I'm not really sure.

It's possible that women are doing what you are saying. I'm not bad looking but even I have had women look at me with hate and disgust because I'm shy. I guess I'm just used to it by now. It would be worse if I looked worse.

I also have no idea how I come off to people, so I can't detect my faults. I mess up a lot of things I say, people always misunderstand things I say, becuase of my communication abilities. I'm alwyas lonely, desperate for a friend. I've been searching for my soul mate, but haven't done a whole lot. I just keep dreaming of this perfect girl (she's perfect to me), becuase she actually like me, and supports me. It's just a dream.

I would like to have friends too, but another side of me just wants to stay home. It's tough.

I wish I could find a dream girl but I'm not sure if that will happen. It would require a bunch of social attempts that will be failures and awkward that I'm not sure I want to deal with.


I'm old fashioned. I'm like like anyone else my age. I don't like to get drunk and party. I never did drugs, I hardly ever drink, or smoke, which I guess is a good thing. So, that also makes it hard to fit in with people my age.

I believe it's more of the social anxiety thing that is the reason many people who have SA can't connect with others. I've met people who don't drink or do drugs that have no problem connecting with their peers.

Most of my life is mistakes. Most things I do is mistakes, whther it's something I say, or do.

I don't think that's possible.

I get really, really bad canker sores on my tongue, which is really painful (like someone put sultpheric acid on my tongue). I had them since childhood, and they would usually come once or twice a year, but for the [ast 2-3 years, I getten bombarded by them (one after the other), my tongue only gets better for a couple of days usually. I think it could be the stress and frustration of being lonely and wanting a friend.


I have had injuries myself. I ripped apart this tendon in my left ankle/shin area that has been screwed up for 4 years and never healed. I also have had an achilles problem for the last 4 months in the other leg. I think I ruptured my achilles.

I'm in pain a lot too.

I can't even go for a jog or walk because of my injuries.

 

[Sial Axetder]

what dottie said

 

[coyote]

there is only being and not-being, no in between

if you cease existing, there are no rewards - you can't experience anything if you don't exist

people seem to get this romantic notion that death will bring happiness - if you die, there will be no happiness for you to experience; there will be nothing, you will experience nothing

the only way to experience anything is to live, to be, to exist

no matter how bad it is, at least it is something, rather than nothing

 

[twiggle]

i'm going to say this and please forgive me if it sounds rude. not my intention but i'm not good at being warm and fuzzy. this is from my own experience.

no one is going to come along and rescue you, whether it be a male or female. ever.

no miracle is going to happen.

generally, the whole victim mentality is what drives people away. people hear "i need," "i want," "this sucks," "wah," and it's repelling. it makes you sound like work. where is the fun in that relationship? everyone has problems in their life, but not everyone needs to wave a big red flag around to alert everyone of them. you mentioned dreaming of a perfect best friend. be that person. all the traits you imagine in that character, become it. does she care for people? does she call people to see how they are doing? what does this imagined character give you and DO for you in your fantasies? take these exact things and give them to everyone in your life. like attracts like. if you start being this way, you are more apt to draw it back into your life. what you give is what you get.

there are lots of amazing things to live for. nature, music, art. you like hunger games? you probably want to live long enough to see the rest of the trilogy in theatre. i do!

just food for thought.

Great post.

There is plenty left for you to live for, Foxface. Lives change. I think there are a lot of people who go through phases of their lives which aren't the best, but just because you've had an unhappy start, it doesn't mean your life will have an unhappy end. You are still young and at a point where you can take your life down a whole new direction if you want to. From your post it seems like you have a stable family life - be thankful for that, because at least you're not having to earn an income to have a roof over your head. This means that you can enjoy the benefit of options and flexibility in terms of what direction you take your life in. You have time to think about it and plan it.

I've not seen what you look like but attractiveness isn't a passport to a relationship anyway. It's a bonus - nothing more, nothing less. Anybody can be in a relationship, it's just about meeting the person who's right for you. Don't rely on the internet for making friends or meeting a girlfriend, try and join some clubs or societies in your area. It's much easier to make a mark in person.

Anything else I have to say will pretty much echo what's already been said on here but - seriously - don't give up. There's so much to see and do out there. I would recommend you go travelling or something. It will broaden your horizons massively.

 

[user deleted]

i'm going to say this and please forgive me if it sounds rude. not my intention but i'm not good at being warm and fuzzy. this is from my own experience.

no one is going to come along and rescue you, whether it be a male or female. ever.

no miracle is going to happen.

generally, the whole victim mentality is what drives people away. people hear "i need," "i want," "this sucks," "wah," and it's repelling. it makes you sound like work. where is the fun in that relationship? everyone has problems in their life, but not everyone needs to wave a big red flag around to alert everyone of them. you mentioned dreaming of a perfect best friend. be that person. all the traits you imagine in that character, become it. does she care for people? does she call people to see how they are doing? what does this imagined character give you and DO for you in your fantasies? take these exact things and give them to everyone in your life. like attracts like. if you start being this way, you are more apt to draw it back into your life. what you give is what you get.

there are lots of amazing things to live for. nature, music, art. you like hunger games? you probably want to live long enough to see the rest of the trilogy in theatre. i do!

just food for thought.

I agree with this whole-heartedly.

I think more people than you'd realise have felt similarly. The way I look at it is, I'd rather be alive than not, no matter how difficult things are sometimes. I made the decision one day to stop waiting for someone to rescue me and rescue myself. In truth, nobody can really convince you to live except yourself. And I don't mean just continuing your existence, I mean really living. It's hard to think of something to say because I'm sure it's all things you've heard before. All I'm going to say is that I'm really sorry you're suffering and I genuinely hope you pull through.

 

[Hellhound]

I am sorry if this sounds jerkish, but I'm going to be totally honest with you.

The girl you're obsessing over doesn't exist. Everyone has flaws, all relationships have ups and downs. You aren't going to find a girl without one thing you don't like, and she won't accept absolutely everything about you, there will be things she won't like as well.

You're obsessed about a type of relationship that only exists in movies. In reality, you migh find the one who loves you, but the relationship isn't going to be perfect.

 

[Falkor]

I've been there, and still feel sad sometimes. But please, consider yourself enjoy life because it's only once and you should make something out of it. I know it's a depressive thought, when things don't work out, but it actually takes effort, or at least some little steps into the right direction, to get what you feel proud of. So please, don't give up, why would you? That's not fun!Let's give on and rock the world.

I know it's hard to get your mind to it, when it's not like you want it, but if you fight and do something about it, it sure is worth it!And be satisfied with each and every single day, and every step. Because it is beautiful.

~don't tease yourself with those thoughts, make them happy ones~

xx

 

[Foxface]

generally, the whole victim mentality is what drives people away. people hear "i need," "i want," "this sucks," "wah," and it's repelling. it makes you sound like work. where is the fun in that relationship? everyone has problems in their life, but not everyone needs to wave a big red flag around to alert everyone of them. you mentioned dreaming of a perfect best friend. be that person. all the traits you imagine in that character, become it. does she care for people? does she call people to see how they are doing? what does this imagined character give you and DO for you in your fantasies? take these exact things and give them to everyone in your life. like attracts like. if you start being this way, you are more apt to draw it back into your life. what you give is what you get.

Well, she is someone who is there for me and cares a lot about me. She comforts me when I'm upset, and she suppoorts me and motivates me ot do things I wouldn't normally do.

We go places, and we just enjoy each others company. It dosen't take much for it to perfect. Just someone who loves me and is there for me, is perfect enough. Someone who understands me too, of course.

This girl in my dreams is someone who really cares for everyone, regardless of their age, race, gender etc. I love people like that, unfortunately, it's rare that I meet someone like that.

She is my world, becuase she is with me and there for me, which is what I want. Someone who is there and understands, means a whole lot, and that what makes me happy. My main problem is not having someone, and has been my dream for awhile. If my dream came true and had someone like that, my life still may not be perfect, becuase of my other faults. But she'll be there to protect me and stuff. Of course, I would do the same for her. I would care for and love as the way she loves me.

If someone gets in a fight with her, I automatically am in the fight, becuase I choose to be, and I stand up for her.

I agree, these relationships are extremely rare, usually only happen on TV or fairy tale, you hear of someone living happily ever after.

I heard a couple of times, that worst life is, or the more pain you're in (or something like that), it pays off. Maybe a girl/best friend forever will be my prize. I don't know. If I fone someone who accepts for for who I am, they would have to be a really special person, becuase it takes someone special to accept someone who is different.

I've been there, and still feel sad sometimes. But please, consider yourself enjoy life because it's only once and you should make something out of it. I know it's a depressive thought, when things don't work out, but it actually takes effort, or at least some little steps into the right direction, to get what you feel proud of. So please, don't give up, why would you? That's not fun!Let's give on and rock the world.

I know it's hard to get your mind to it, when it's not like you want it, but if you fight and do something about it, it sure is worth it!And be satisfied with each and every single day, and every step. Because it is beautiful.

~don't tease yourself with those thoughts, make them happy ones~

xx

I want to be happy, and I am trying be happy being single, but it seems impossible. Us hamans need someone in our lives. I really long for one, and it's always on my mind, and go out of my way, when I think one takes an interest or could take an interest and me, so I can see for myself, if she does.

Everything I do, dosen't work. I go out for drives, exploring and stuff. I'm usually OK, until I see someone I fancy, and then my world goes dark again (meaning I get depressed and desperate).

 

[Roman Legion]

I have no aspirations, no plans, no goals and little to no interests. My life has always been a cosmic joke and I have been homeless as a child and still live in squalor. I am alone as well and I do feel like having a .45 ACP for brunch, I honestly have no idea why I am still here and I'm not qualified to list reasons for another to live when I don't even know why I still do; but I do know that we as a species place WAY too much emphasis on relationships, when I accepted the fact I no longer gave a f**k about futilly wasting time on finding a woman, it was such a huge weight lifted. I can only speculate here, but I think the main reason I haven't painted the walls with my brains is due to extreme apathy, I honestly don't give a f**k about anything. Trust me, I am a huge failure and nothing I do ever works and I'm likely headed for a flaming disaster-tastrophy, but apathy really helps.

 

[kilojoule]

Dottie you're such a legend respect.


OP you need to rescue yourself which you absolutely can do.