Unable to mantain conversation

[ShadowCat]

I just started high school yesterday. My friend that I always hung around went to a different school so I started to hang around with another girl who is really nice. The thing is, whenever I'm around her, it's like my mind is blank. I have nothing to say and I can never seem to mantain a good conversation. Is this bad, normal, is it my fault? What do you think I should do?

 

[Boundless]

I'm the same,as much as i want to talk to somebody its so hard to think of things to keep a conversatino going its not your fault tho.

 

[Bexi]

Gosh, i was like this at school, i wondered why i had any friends because i thought i was so damn boring! however, quiet/shy/ SA ppl are not boring because they are quiet! The thing i tend to do alot is ask people lots of questions, because most ppl's favourite subject tends to be...THEMSELVES!! SO ask what they like/dislike/what they do/ etc, and it doesn't matter if u have som silences with ppl you feel comfortable with really. I'd much prefer a quiet friend to one who never shuts up, yawn

 

[Boundless]

Very good point bexi,i do actually enjoy listening to others problems and just chat in general,i can listen to people go on for ages and still not get annoyed or bored

 

[4myself]

Yeah, its certainly not your fault! it is very common with shy/sp people. bexi, I know what you mean about people who wont shut up, AAARRGGHH!

 

[redlady]

I'm with everyone else here - it's not your fault - it's certainly not something you will upon yourself. I sometimes find my mind scuttles off when i am in an anxious situation - as soon as i leave that situation my mind returns from its little hiatus - the little shit - case in point, i could never think of answers to questions in class at school - but when i would leave the room they would suddenly come to me. Our minds have a very funny way of protecting us don't they?
What about trying to discuss something relaxed like t.v or music, bands, songs etc... You can find out about each others likes and dislikes and what you have in common and then you will always have a little something to discuss in the future - "oh did you see so and so's new video clip" you get the idea.

 

[Boundless]

I'm with everyone else here - it's not your fault - it's certainly not something you will upon yourself. I sometimes find my mind scuttles off when i am in an anxious situation - as soon as i leave that situation my mind returns from its little hiatus - the little shit - case in point, i could never think of answers to questions in class at school - but when i would leave the room they would suddenly come to me. Our minds have a very funny way of protecting us don't they?
What about trying to discuss something relaxed like t.v or music, bands, songs etc... You can find out about each others likes and dislikes and what you have in common and then you will always have a little something to discuss in the future - "oh did you see so and so's new video clip" you get the idea.

Heh,i knoe what you mean when your mind buggers off for a coffee when you need it most! i was in a test not long ago and 1 of them was a test like
Find as many words as you can ending in 'tion' i thought yea great easy,my mind went totaly blank and i failed! lol did great on the other tests tho

 

[paul]

What I do sometimes is plan ahead for a conversation and try to think of things to say. I find this is harder with people older than you and easier with little kids because it's just not as natural to ask a 28-year-old "what do you like to do?" if you're 13. Sometimes I still can't think of anything to say, and I don't really find much comfort in knowing that they can't think of anything to say either good luck on this!

 

[redlady]

Boundless wrote:

Heh,i knoe what you mean when your mind buggers off for a coffee when you need it most!

I love that! Yeah mine has a caffeine addiction - i need to get it to go cold turkey.

i was in a test not long ago and 1 of them was a test like
Find as many words as you can ending in 'tion' i thought yea great easy,my mind went totaly blank and i failed! lol did great on the other tests tho

The worst thing about that is that you know it, you know everything you are supposed to write - it's all there hiding - so you don't fail cause you're stupid or you haven't studied, that would be one thing, some would say deserving of failure and that just frustrates the hell out of me.